Tag: poetry about sadness

Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times

Like picked out of a hornet’s nest,
I painted the walls an ivory-white mixed with peach-pink.
You don’t even drive a truck, so why am I so in love
With you
It must be your character
Your calm personality, too
I can’t do my own laundry without thinking of how you told me,
You would move to Chicago if that was where I was meant to be
We planned our future alongside each other
With short attention span like honeybees.

Like picked straight out of a hornet’s nest
You melted and hardened me like the sap on Sycamore trees.
You kept your cards so close
Like a wild Siamese
A cat scratch disease

Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times (continued)

You’re the kind of guy that –
If you hit someone with your car
They’ll say it really wasn’t your fault at all
I’m the kind of girl
That knows to carefully watch the things I may say
Even though it all
Gets skewed anyway

You can see why I thought we’d be perfect.
You can understand why I wanted to work through it
I nicked my finger trying to open
An Amazon package
Got blood stains on my t-shirt and had to change immediately
Obviously, you know what they would have to say
Sometimes I feel jealous that your life is so black-and-white
Because I feel like the clothing one doesn’t want to put away
And I have no right to complain
My life just turned out this way

When we sat on your couch, and you paused the film
To tell me all about work and all the things that you feel,
I think I fell in love with you for the seventeenth time
And I knew I’d be in love with you for the rest of my life.

Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times (continued)

Because if I accidentally looked down, and hit someone with my car
they would probably say that I had planned this all along
I don’t wanna sound like a victim, but am I truly wrong?
If you were to do quite the same
Regardless of which neurotransmitters were on fire in your brain
They’d forgive you before you even had the option to apologize
Exactly how I did so, so, so many times

Because when I think of that one night,
Our entire future flashes right before my eyes
You and me and Chicago, the city of my dreams
Yet God has other plans
He knows what’s right, it seems
And so did I because when came the sinking feeling
I had the strength to come up for air
Am I self-absorbed to say it?
Am I no longer a casualty if I own it?

Now I’m driving on the motorway, passing by your place
I think I would collapse if I were to see your face.
But if you saw mine,
You may not even recognize
I walk a fine line between being everybody and nobody at the same time

Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times (continued)

I still have visions of us going out
I still have thoughts of us dancing together
I still have visions of us going out
I still have daydreams of us dancing in poor weather

If we were next to each other in the car
And if you were to make a mistake,
No uncertainty I’d take the blame immediately
Because it’s ingrained so deeply within me
Written on the inner walls of my veins
I’d take the blame

A martyr for nothing
A martyr for you and me
And now I’m changing course
I’m thinking things through a little bit more definitively

I’m on the motorway passing by your place
and if I were to see your face
I would hopelessly fall in love for the eighteenth time

“Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.”
He died for our sins
So that I can make peace with mine,
For the nineteenth time

Thank you for reading my poetry. Please help keep the dream alive by donating to my website: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Poem: Femoral artery (fever dreams)

distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: Femoral artery (fever dreams)

I watch you when you’re bad
I take careful notes
I set them on fire and summon gentle ghosts
They won’t scare you or hurt you the most
Nothing like true love taken away, not even close

I’m sixteen in a few days, I’m trapped in this body
I want you to mimic a system like monoclonal antibodies
Feed the hunger
Burn the rage
Set flames to whom I accused you of being
Prove me wrong
Come as a surprise
I’m finding I don’t make the impression that I imply
Sunsets after jazz concerts on the lawn
I try to find stingrays in the ocean when I swim
I think if this life is a fight, then I’ll most likely win
But they’re doing a good job of telling God that I sinned

Like fever dreams
Like soft doeskin
That came from a being you shouldn’t have touched
I wonder at what point will it all be enough
Blew smoke in his face, he tried calling my bluff
I wake up strong, but I wouldn’t say I’m tough
My wrists are so small the cops use child handcuffs
I wish I was making all this stuff up

To live a romantic life is to surrender to passion
With the weather today, I would say it’s not in fashion
Love for me will never be everlasting

I want it to be
I desperately hope
But we always lose the ones we love the most
They hit your bare knees, the cascading blue waves
Make you stay up pacing around for days
I don’t have the time, and I’ve lost my own place
I was so far ahead
I was almost there
I thought I was close
I was almost there
I choked on my insides
I was almost there
I saw my femoral artery
Blood soaked my white underwear

Like fever dreams
Like soft doeskin
That you’ll always regret purchasing because your ex-girlfriend was a vegan and the way she wears pink ribbons in her ash blonde hair makes you go wild
You act like a child
And I wouldn’t even say your advantage was mild
Knock on my door
Stay a while
I’ll only be happy watching you char in the fire

I know the feeling
I know the daze
I know the brilliant, beautiful Autumn haze
I know Fridays spent alone and solitary Sundays
I’ll only respect you if you participate in the chase
And God, I love it when you try to plead your case
You lost the bet
The cops know you
You think you get me, but I don’t believe that’s true
You’re only with her because there’s nothing else to do

Playing with marbles on the carpet, so they don’t roll too far away
I don’t have the time
I’ve lost my own place
But I clean up nice and live my life with grace

You’re lucky I won’t let you see me face-to-face
You won’t forget my brutality for several days
It’s my milk white gentleness that you can’t replace
I used to tell you I love you, but now I’ll rephrase

The kind of girl you wish you had for the holidays
The kind of girl you wish you had for the holidays
The kind of girl you wish you had for the holidays
As vital to the body as acetylcholinesterase

It’s my resilient nature that will get me through this phase
I used to tell you I love you, but now I’ll rephrase

Lilac Dove

, ,

Poem: 3 in the morning (God loves you)

distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: 3 in the morning (God loves you)

Sometimes at night
I think of you
(I’m lying – I always think of you)
There’s nothing else I’d rather do
It’s the bittersweet sting of being hopelessly enamored with you

The more you want it, the farther away it becomes
You stay up late and say you’ll sleep next to the sun
He says he’s running late, but he never does come
That’s the sad truth about not being the only one
I twirl my hair
I spin around
I choke so hard I fall to the ground
And if you calculated my efforts, I’d pay by the pound
I’m lost in abysmal and undulating surround sound

He put black padding on the walls to keep the voices quiet
Asked me what my favourite wine was and said that he’d buy it
Passed me angel dust, but I said I won’t try it
This time I’m not lying
It hurts more to keep trying
Don’t blame it on timing
If I am dust, you are worn out leather from a cow that loved to live and breathe fresh air
You ran your fingers through my soft, blonde hair
I knew you were unaware
You had me right there
You had me

Boys have short attention spans, so I’m working on making my poems shorter
As if a somber gaze doesn’t scratch at the envelope
As if the disposable cardboard coaster I kept from the bar we went to last year isn’t practically at its wit end
But I stare at it at night and I like to pretend
That you and I will never end
(You spin me round and round, you scream, you bend)
I only liked when you were drinking
Because you never stopped talking
And I could listen to your words for endless summer days

I’m watching my step
I’m too sharp for this town
I reached the vault of heaven, but you pushed me back down
And every time I walk away from you, I turn right back around
You’re the most beautiful thing that I have ever found

And if you want me, please tell me
That’s all that I ask
Because I don’t know how much longer
I can contain this chaotic energy, it’s only a setback
It pays for my grave
Collects debt at the tollbooth
Serves me a clean slate I can’t afford and makes it taste like dry vermouth
A botanical celestial atmosphere where there was you and I appeared and you said come here, baby girl, my doe-eyed dear
Please, my angel, don’t you ever disappear

I say never
Won’t do it
I’ll always be here

But you’re so distant from me that my words sound unclear
And the walls are blurry and they’re bleeding red
And I bought pink satin sheets for my queen-sized bed
And I wait every night for you to come fall sleep
But if your love cuts my skin, it doesn’t go very deep
If your flaws were secrets, they’d be mine to keep
And I replay your laugh in my mind on fucking repeat

I know only one thing that’ll make me complete
But if it’s me against her, I’m too weak to compete
I am a glacier dissolving in sunburns and aggressive summer heat
But I still thank God because he arranged for us to meet
I know it as much as I love the window seat
But I see you and her, so I make a spreadsheet
Of all the ways this is going to kill me
Please stop, only you can heal me
I need you like candy
I crave all of you
I know that my hopes are too good to be true
So I lay on the concrete, I only see in ocean-blue

I scream at God for letting me fall in love with you
It’s 3 in the morning
There’s nothing else to do

© Elle Silvestrov

I only liked when you were drinking
Because you never stopped talking
And I could listen to your words for endless summer days

Poem: 3 in the morning (God loves you)

You agree to receive email communication from us by submitting this form and understand that your contact information will be stored with us.

Poem: Surface tension (poolside dreams)

distantcaveLeave a comment

I saw the skinniest girls at the pool today
They were all bone, with graceful flat stomachs
I started to hate myself again
And I considered if
Maybe I was going too far
Maybe they have scars to hide too
But I traced their gentle bodies with my disturbing eyes
And I couldn’t find a somber disguise
Or any evidence that they hate themselves too

Maybe I didn’t look deep enough
What’s on the surface conceals what’s underneath

I toss and turn wildly in my bedsheets
And maybe the spaces of my ribs and the lights in-between
No longer shine, no longer gleam
I look dirty even when I’m entirely clean
I try to smile, but I can’t hold back that I’m so, so mean

They splashed each other while in the water
I knew if I smiled I’d only bother
But maybe they were growing sick of each other
At that point, I’d be a newfound lover
But when it rains it decays what’s left of me
I only feel blissful when I’m swimming in the sea (I feel like it’s a part of me)
I am opalescent in matters of blue
Your favourite shades of Hunter green
Writing poetry with a ruptured spleen
I miss being a fragile and innocent young teen
Didn’t stop you from touching me

Didn’t stop you from touching me
You claimed that you were teaching me
But my skin turned dark like you were leaching me
I’d have the strongest, most bizarre of nightmares
Wake up sweating, alone, and scared
A modest, timid girl
Too small to be bared
You dragged my body up the crystallized stairs

What’s on the surface conceals what’s underneath
When the gun started firing, the bed I hid beneath
Is it always as rosy as the daydream makes it seem?
My God, being dead sounds so fucking serene

My God, being dead sounds so fucking serene

Thank you for reading.

Your comments, shares, and subscriptions mean the world.