Tag: blue

Poem: Seasonal cherries (displacement)

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Poem: Seasonal cherries (displacement)

He decided impromptu to get away for the weekend
I couldn’t even call him up
Kept my sentiments busy with the peonies, the sword ferns, the garden,
Difficult to look in the driveway & not see that matte-black, lifted truck

The cold, crescent, fever dream blues that surrounded me
I allowed them to peer into my skin
My delicate green veins from my light beige skin tone
I tried to catch him on the telephone
Though, I had no indication of where to begin.

Poem: Seasonal cherries (displacement) [continued]

I almost loved him, I think
Did say it by unintentionally a few times
Was I so wrong to confuse distance with association
I believe I was right – though I still paid the fine

And now truly, with all his irresolute conviction
He tells me he wants to be together
Well, boy do I have news for a man of your cadence
The thought requires me to hold on to one or four of your sweaters

Poem: Seasonal cherries (displacement) [continued]

I’m falling somewhere, but I don’t know where
Look down from the sky & I really don’t care
I’m falling somewhere, but I really don’t care
He’ll say it back to me when he’s least aware

I believe I was right
I paid the fine
I believe I was correct
Wrong place, right time

Poem: Seasonal cherries (displacement) [continued]

Cherry trees only grow in certain seasons
People do what they do for their own reasons
I am porcelain and snow and almond sweet
But I’d die in a living-room suite

Knowing that peonies only bloom in late spring to early summer
Exact timing depends on variety, location, and climate
Cherries come in season in late spring to early summer
So for now, I’ll just be quiet

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Poem: Ivory vacancy

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Poem: Ivory vacancy

Needles in my eyes
Twenty-five individual pieces
Kiss me before you say goodbye
Don’t let me walk home alone

I feel your presence
Even when you’re not beside me
Though there’s this ivory vacancy
Trembling a hole inside of me
It could be filled
If you would come closer
It could be gone
If you could spend the night

Poem: Ivory vacancy [continued]

I know that you’re testing me
By the way you speak to me
I can feel you testing me
By the way you act with me

I am invisible to everybody
But you
I matter nothing to nobody
But you
I think I like being in this field with
Only you
Laying down like it’s my last time
Just with you

Poem: Ivory vacancy [continued]

Nothing is vacant,
But the trees are fragrant,
And I’m not even going to tell you the things I think about day in and day out.

I’m a pale girl,
A true ivory “vacancy” motel sign

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Poem: Spoiled

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Poem: Spoiled

Vacillating upon soft pink ballroom spheres
I’m not the wrecked canister I used to be
You could say I’m much better
But I’m under the weather
Can you swim to me so we make sure I don’t drown.

Watching & welcoming the 405 freeway all around me,
The rosy glow in the sky above me,
Thinking I’m so lucky
Bare bones
Clandestine flesh
Give me more of what’s left of yourself
To keep
To hold
To have
To mold
My sacred entity
My entitled serpent
My king

Poem: Spoiled [Continued]

But I would not dare to risk it all
I’m a near-colourless, fifty-nine carat, princess-cut diamond ring
Thickened in winter with faux animal fur
Frosted like December Christmas trees
I found you by the lake
The look you gave told me to leave
So I found a secret cave underground
Where I could make-believe
That we would forever create an abundant fervency
Quartz flames, flushed stars, total internal reflection
Light as good as mine
Darkness as keen as the mystery that engulfs you

Poem: Spoiled [Continued]

If the cards were in my favour
You would always show up
If the cards were in my favour
You would show up for me

If the cards were in my favour
You would always show up
If the cards were in my favour
You would show up for me

Poem: Spoiled [Continued]

Spoil me with
What’s left of yourself

Don’t hold your breath
Like I’m holding my breath
Spoil me with
What’s left of yourself

I’ll take it
I’ll take it
To have
To hold
To mold
To keep

Spoiled

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Love poem: Sweetness in February

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Love poem: Sweetness in February

Sometimes I look at, my flowers that have died
And I find them more beautiful than when they were alive.

Last year, my family got the most beautiful, dark-green noble fir Christmas tree we ever had
In a pop-up parking lot full of his friends
I personally found him more appealing before he was decorated
Then I cut 6 inches off my hair
No more split ends

Love poem: Sweetness in February (continued)

Somebody stole our Christmas ornaments from the car
The little cute animals my mother and I laughed about when we saw them in a store forever ago
I hope they felt happy in their new home,
Wherever they ended up,
I just hope they weren’t disposed.

Some people – you start to feel disposable to them,
Like the sweetness you carry doesn’t bear any weight,
Like it means nothing that whatever stories they tell you, will never be shared with a single soul
Not used as small talk to break the ice
Never told at “parties”
That I imagine I’d be attending with my future lover because other people have families & other people have friends & other people have obligations & events
Birthdays to attend
& other people might wonder why I’m not there, and I want to be more than polite for I’m awfully curious
About that sort of life.
I pretend I’m not but,
I really am.

Love poem: Sweetness in February (continued)

I didn’t want you for your money or what you promised me
I was just so calm when I would laugh with you
You introduced me to emojis
Now I use them constantly
You’re well aware I love cuteness
I know you favour my modesty
Something got in our way
You may not want to admit it was from both sides
I never knew you that well
Though of course I still cried

Come to my front gate
Wait in front of your car
I’ll wear the outfit I picked out
At the very start

Come to my front gate
To see me, now
I’ll wear full-on sweats
So you have nothing to think about

Love poem: Sweetness in February (continued)

But I know you a little more than I think I do
Who knows if I’ll ever find out if that’s true
I know you a tiny bit more than you think you do
Who knows if you’ll ever understand that it’s true

Sometimes I look at, my flowers that have died
And I find them more beautiful than when they were alive.

Valentine’s Day is coming up…!!!!

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I own, perform maintenance on, and of course write all of my poetry by myself – and any amount could really help keep the dream alive! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Poem: Kind sentiments

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Poem: Kind sentiments

I wish I could tell you, that it’s killing me
All of these unborn strawberries
Trying to get sunlight with some vitamin D
Wishing I could fall asleep with you holding me

Ambivalence is the trademark of all heartbreak
It ignores the sweetness that my coffee tastes like
I’m taking care of my own well-being
But there are shameful parts of me that you have seen
If only we could stand
Right outside
Sun rays beating down on the asphalt ground
Could have flowers in my hands
You, laughing quietly
Because we get along better than anything

Poem: Kind sentiments(continued)

Everything beautiful in my surroundings
Seems so fleeting to me now
I watch the little ducks
As they awkwardly call out
My friend told me to distract myself
But that’s not how I operate
In my dreams, I see you standing outside your car, at my front gate.

I wish I could tell you, exactly how I feel
But you have more pressing matters for which to deal
So I write kind notes to myself
Tape them onto my bedroom mirror
Say these things out loud
Choose confidence to fight the fear

Poem: Kind sentiments (continued)

I want
To curl up
Into
A little ball
Just like my foster dog
Where I am safe
And warm
And small

And these kinds of things don’t hurt at all.

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