Poem: Merchandise mart

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Poem: Merchandise mart

Put your right hand over your heart
Haha, like in first grade
Before the twin towers exploded
When things felt so safe
I was so wild
I’d light papers on fire and stand there, with a smile
I didn’t know I’d be a poet
But I knew I’d be a doctor
Didn’t know I’d lose my father
Not once
But twice
Human beings, being rationed
Five grand so it actually happens
Nothing too romantic
Left roses wrapped in plastic
Thank you for the merchandise

Poem (continued): Merchandise mart

Yes, he was
Only your voice
Trembling softly
Telling me the truth

Thinking of finding
You, for the time being
Ready for the evening
A humble pursuit

I don’t want to let go
If I do by chance let you know
I don’t want to let go
If I speak up and ruin my softness
The sand was abrasive
It spread out like marbles
And I was shaking
You kept asking me to stop

Poem (continued): Merchandise mart

Moving like an infant that
Can’t locate sound
Moving like an infant that
Doesn’t think he’ll be found
A trade-in, a day bed, a hospital-sized alarm clock
I watched you roll down the window, like a dream I had slept in, for a very long time

If I ruin my softness
And the ground is abrasive
Will you trust that I always carry first aid with me
Like an emergency medical technician from the Merchandise Mart

The call dropped when I turned left
I thought
Will you trust that
I say what I mean, and I mean what is fair
The call dropped when I turned
Right
Where I decided to finally belong.

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Love poem: Sensitive girl

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Love poem: Sensitive girl

My father taught me how to shoot
Oh, he sure did, he taught me real well
But I’m a very sensitive girl
What would I really do if I was in front of you?
I don’t think I’d pull the trigger

I would most likely let you.

Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions)

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Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions)

Rose petals with lime in my hot coffee
Author’s alterations, metasomatism beneath my bedsheets
Making changes to my will because I will outlive my instruments & garments
I’m the most proper fit, and I laugh to myself
Because nobody else thinks it to be true
Playing in the garden all night long

If you’re made of arachidonic acid, you’re still not essential to me
Accelerated depreciation is like using plastic
So casual for you
The cavity where I reside is not accepting visitation
Though you can leave the fleurs and baguettes at the doorstep
Can I be a princess for once, please?
Can someone naturally want to take care of me?

Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions) [continued]

My abdomen is covered in spears
I don’t know where they came from
He found it addicting, and I chose not to feel bad, because I settled for a freedom that involved both him and me
I’m stored in the nacelle, and you’re a half-decent engineer
Who works so much he loses sight of
The real thing
When it’s engaging in self-piercing
Damaging increments
Fingernails painted dusty pink

I feel a permanent wholesome vacancy
A vacant office
A vacant smile
A vacant estate
A vacant room
A vacant seat on a bus
A vacant throne
A disengaged observer
Sometimes I wish you would just look at me
Stare at me so I would feel like I was really living, here.

Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions) [continued]

An abandoned factory
An abandoned field
An abandoned vehicle
An abandoned baby
I was left to fall into a state of disuse
And then I had to pick myself up
Here we are, I’m staring at Chicago on the plane’s seat live screen map, and I want to cry, because it’s screaming out at me

“You need to get rid of everything so that I can consume you in full”
Nobody can love you so much to the point that you can’t leave
This is everything and all that you want
To the point where a low-quality live map brings tears to my turning-dark-green eyes
Straightforward without reserve, my advocacy for my well-being
Openhearted and honest with my eternal sin
That I’m falling more and more in love with

I want what’s favorable
I accept what makes me want to sink, not just mine, but all of the ships
Things highly unpleasant to me are advantageous to the attitude I want to cultivate
Impartial to how we couldn’t quite relate

Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions) [continued]

I’ve got dandelions in my hair
The right guy won’t blow my wishes out
A commendatory view of my well-calculated decision and unruly spirit

I appreciate it all
The astronomical pitfalls
Everything is beautiful to me
If it wasn’t, I would not have stayed around here

Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions) [continued]

Sweet and angelic of you, a stranger said
Looked at me with the admiration the last few lacked
In a Duty Free store

I learned to be safe in my own skin
Complimentary to my own skeleton
Dandelions in my hair
The right guy won’t blow my wishes out

She was always four thoughts ahead of everyone else

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Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling)

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Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling)

Can I show you what I think about
Daisies and marigolds and merry-go-rounds
When you’re stuck in the inner confines of your mind
I want to be one of the things that makes you unwind

I’ve been missing appointments
Surrounded by a terror I can’t seem to escape from
If there was a human being
Who could look into the pupils of my eyes
Tell me exactly how much incoming light
I’m receiving from the night sky

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]

I feel like a fossil, that has not yet been found
Wound up tight beneath the ground
Screaming my lungs out
As it is expected,
No audible sound

Flowers grow around the outside of my ivory thighs
I don’t dare pick them
Like the fresh cut flowers my mother gets me from the local grocery store
If I could lay beside you
On a bed of grass, I’m not allergic to
Tell you that I’ve been feeling, this way
Would it change
The course of things
I’m in love with diamond rings

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]

Doesn’t take much time to listen
But people are so busy
Everyone’s so lonely and they work so hard to distract themselves from this
But if you and I could sit in your garage
Count all the beautiful spiders
Give them names that we’ve picked out
For kids, we don’t know when or if we’ll have

Somewhere there is a boy that
Doesn’t ask me to take my glasses off
Actually finds them kind of hot
The aspartame in my can of coke will disassemble
Transform into a novel molecule
Inside my microbiome
Travel to my brain
Tell me there is both acceptable and unacceptable pain

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]

I think I am a princess
But I’m not locked in no castle
I live with a beautiful strawberry garden
That the snails keep on stealing
They’re small and they’re fragile
And I’m a home-maker
I want to be the dandelion
You waste your breath on

I’ll let you take it all from me
On the brink of insanity
Because with my own kindness I’m quite pleased

I think I am a princess
For the right guy to look at my pupils
Tell me how much light is coming in from the night sky

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Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone

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Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone

Let me suffocate the circles that you run around me

A motorcycle drives by, and I wonder the weight that he carries
I knew truly that you were not in true love with me, but I chose to believe it anyway
Inconveniently
Like a little make-believe game that I didn’t even play as a child
Because it didn’t make sense then
And it doesn’t make sense now,
So why am I the one to make you drown?
Why am I the one that’s alone in the crowd
Unparalleled at the playground swing that’s there for one
When there are three others around

Ravens on my flight deck
The nape of my neck
The archives of my shoulders
My aching back
I thought it was so sweet
I thought it was so sweet.

Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)

I almost lost my space
My place in the assembly line
Coming back to the neighbourhood that I reside in,
And the flowers were all dried up
And they’re bad for the dogs to eat because they cannot be digested in their stomach.
That proceeds to their smooth intestinal lining
And the rest of an organism that I think I am compatible with
Daisies in my hair
Forever speaking to nothing
Blank stares from the cashier

If I made an impression on you,
That wasn’t my responsibility.
I think I should make impressions on more people, actually
It makes me sad how that’s not the case
I spend all my free time traversing ocean waves
Inhaling the sunshine’s rays
Lavender light and alkaline water
Pastel perfection and beloved highlighters

Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)

So I stare at marbles all day long
Find my previous favourite songs
In the car driving through a wrathful fire, I am singing along
Drowning and swimming
Drowning and swimming
I thought it was so sweet
Wanted to hear it on repeat

Drawing and mourning
Grieving and growing
My grandmother isn’t going to make it
I was her favourite
Like the softest sweater you’ve ever put on
That you can’t afford
Life is heartbreaking
Lives aren’t worth taking
Patients in comas write love letters to their loved ones
I watch the current fall back onto itself

Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)

But we were treading water in the abyss and
The fish looked so surreal
Like abstract paintings
The waterfall came rushing
I breathed in so deeply

I inhaled the fumes of the daisies in my hair
You were nowhere to be found
And so I found myself

Comfortable at last

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