Poem: James Davies

When I threw away the dying white roses you bought for me
I almost cried myself to death
When I touched the petals
(They were so soft)
Like me
Untouched
Delicate
You robbed me of my own sanity
And it got so fucked I broke away from reality

You robbed me of my own sanity

Take your medication, baby, please don’t stop
Taking your medication
I care so much for you that my heart keeps breaking
Because you’re not next to me in bed and I can’t fall asleep because I’m shaking
I’m so afraid of you
But I’m more afraid of what I’m going to do without you
Do you have any idea how much I love you?

Sweet river beds
I leaned against your car smoking like I’m from Tennessee
And you weren’t even man enough to comfort me
You like to call it “enabling”
But a girl crying over you will only stop crying when you touch her
Hold her like it’s your last day alive
And you know the last memories are the memories we keep
But all I can think of is you screaming at me
You were screaming at me
But you said you were in love with me

You robbed me of my own sanity
But it was only because I was too insane to see
You weren’t good for me
You weren’t good for me
James Davies
You were never my safety

I’m so helpless, it’s scary

Though I know Monday morning I’ll wake up
Sipping my L-theanine-filled green tea in my Moscow teacup
I won’t text you
Won’t say wassup
Because you and I are no longer
Babe, I hope you take a seat and ponder

How weak you made me

Tears cover my cheekbones
I can barely read these pages
Felt I’d love you for ages
But you tested my patience

How weak you made me
This is what became of me

How weak you made me

Poem: Elysian space dust IPA






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Peony photograph by Elle ©

Poem: Fading, gracefully

Poem: Fading, gracefully

My passion is in my work but sometimes it fades
I dress up, I’m ready, to have the most perfect of days
Something charcoal and black gets in my way

A peaceful slumber, I’ve rested
Breakfast is toast
Licking jam off my fingers
The scent of your cologne
I have nothing to do today but write, write, write

Born an academic
I found my love on the field
Pointing straight at my target– focus and press
Down on the trigger, life’s a sweet mess
Baby, we eventually do our best

He said my name sounds expensive

He said my name sounds expensive
Like a luxurious bath
Candles and Ella Fitzgerald in the back
I’m curious about my own tastes
I’m establishing a new state of rebuilding an identity that I lost when we broke off the engagement
Led to a crisp stalemate
And what it necessitates
Is a return to sensuality and glamour
Floral dresses because flowers are part of my soul even though I don’t believe in humanistic psychology
However,
I do like what the existentialists posed
I’m no longer scared to see of what dust I am composed
I stay asleep on such a heavy dose

The rain falls like sugar into a small child’s fragile hands

You shouldn’t be scared of me either
When it rains I’m like in the garden of Eden
You and me, we’re on the same page, something is even
But when I’m alone
I rip out the pages, shivering down to my bones
I let the call ring then hang up the telephone
No service in my castle, but I’m in my zone
Wait for the beat to drop
Babe you’re acting so nonchalant
It’s okay, it’s enough, it’s time to stop
The beautiful rainfall begins to drop
It shimmers
Across my spine

Stick out my tongue because rain tastes heavy
Move my arms up like I’m soaking already
Stick out my tongue because rain tastes heavy
Move my arms down like I’m dead already

Move my arms down like I’m dead already

Nothing like Chicago rainfall


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Poem: Soleil et marguerites

Poem: Sunshine and daisies (soleil et marguerites)

Alone in the sunshine with the daisies
My ash blonde hair turned green from the chlorine
I step in and out of the pool, I do laps, I take naps
I find you resting on your stomach with your back to the sun
Back to the sun
I thought I was alone here
But it’s something funny
Every time I think I’m alone I see you
You come here, around town, when I’m blue
You don’t call ahead of time
The summer air is just sublime
Dripping rose on the vine

Alone in the sunshine with the daisies
They’re my only friends, everybody thinks I’m crazy
But I’ve got you, baby

I’d love to stay here with you
But there are things that I cannot do
It took some gettin’ used to
And one of them
Is to belong to you
One of them
Is to belong to you

I think you know what I know
I think you know what I know

I think I’ve got it right this time
I think I’ve got it right this time

You and I can’t stay together
You and I can’t stay together

No matter the weather
No matter the shadows
I think you know what I know
I think you know what I know

You and I can’t be together
You and I can’t be together

God’s judgement is harshest when it rains


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XOXO.

Poem: Soft like thunder

Poem: Soft like thunder

His parents were well-to-do
He grew up on sailboats and river rafts
When he got older they turned into yachts
The sea was like venom to him, it pulled me in
Like the sweetest smelling flower at the end of the block
The rose
Morose
Lying-on bleached towels warm from the dryer
Didn’t put out your cigarette and started a fire
I saw you make mistakes, found out you were a liar
And I didn’t do nothing ’bout it
I did nothing at all
You stand in front of me– so handsome, so tall
I feel so small 

Pretty
Ash blonde hair
Pink ribbon hanging from my ponytail
You said the waves are good so we’ll go out and sail
Meet you at the car, I’ll go check the mail
Bounty hunter
Soft like thunder
Bills, bills, bills, bills, bills
I got the vaccine and secretly hoped I’d fall ill
Would you take care of me?
Bring me chamomile tea?
Fresh white roses for the center of the room

Centerpiece
Sharp like teeth
Glass shards in the basement

Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea
Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea
Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea

A hummingbird crawls on my windowsill
Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & fleeting
Like when we scored some angel & fell down from the ceiling
An upside-down world for the criminally insane
Blue hydrangeas
Marbles
Stone cold carpet, free of debris
You’re ironing your pants
I come up, give you a little dance
But this isn’t romance
Nor a reprisal
The last day
Wonder if you’ll even remember my last name
Before I reach fame
(You never asked)
Heart attack
Trade you gold for some hard-hitting smack

Birthday cake
Little girl
Swooning with the daffodils
Is it crazy to be a cranberry in this awful, wet wilderness
Does anything I say make any sense?
I meant to be who I was, in the past tense

Mercedes benz, honey no you didn’t
Been dreaming for this day for months, for years
You say get in, I insist on it
I glow like a candle
I’m sharp like shears
Cruel and uncoordinated, overdosing on fears
If that’s your dream life
My gentle self as your wife
The tide rushes in
The tide rushes back

Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & feeling
Hold you with my all, hear your cold heart beating
These are my plans this evening

An upside-down world for the criminally insane
I bet you one hundred you don’t know my last name
Stay quiet, breathe slow, this shouldn’t be much pain
Smooth
Quick
Needles, veins
Taking advantage

Taking advantage or being taken advantage of
Taking advantage or being taken advantage of

If that’s your dream life, my gentle self as your wife

Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & fleeting
Alone on the floor, that’s where I fall apart this evening
Don’t wake me, I’m sleeping
Don’t wake me, I’m –