Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the SoundCloud portion.
I’m working on a new email newsletter for post updates. xx
Love poem: Tired surprise
I want someone to unwind me Unravel me & cover me back up with ivory satin Lying on your bed while we listen to electric guitar Devour me on purpose Taste my flesh Get away with murder in a hospital bed
I want to be Your lightning and your fire But calm like a river bed Give to you what your parents never did Be like the cool buzz from half a can of beer Charming, light, open you up to the silliness of life That I hope you see too, and when we come together We can make diamonds come alive Spoon-feed cherry blossoms their evening supper Truly, and I mean truly Care for one another
I’m a swan in the water, I’m a storm when I drive Hands clasped behind his back He doesn’t want to keep talking about this But I do You have to choose somebody that accepts every part of you For someone who’s often misunderstood Such will take a long time I close my eyes and think of how long I’ll be on this ride Then glance in the mirror, see the twinkle in my eyes I could be someone’s most beautiful surprise
Calm like a river bed Charming and light Not afraid of the deep end, the stones with colours that have never been named I don’t want to feel ashamed Of the space I occupy The words that come out when I haven’t thought carefully enough I don’t want to be ashamed Of the person I adore when it’s just me in my room I told you, I’m forever in bloom Vacate the room if that’s not cool with you
Sleeping soundly and not wanting to be disturbed He doesn’t want to keep talking about this But I do I do Thinking about the things that seem to only have meaning for you It’s exhausting Time is fragile A car’s despairing exhaust The first of December’s crystals of frost
Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the SoundCloud portion.
I’m working on a new email newsletter for post updates. xx
Poem: A city that’s lit by hesitation
I love when you spin your head towards the sea Make little effort in getting to know me Velveteen pink intoxicates you & gets you unglued Turkish golds in Marina del Rey Thought it was ironic I had no memories of that day We could pull the cord at the same time
He said He falls in love way too soon Well, that’s one way to push me away Cos if you don’t Want the love I’m giving you That’s one way to guarantee I won’t stay
Free-er than a girl in a sundress in a field of crystallized diamonds and wildflowers Did I hype you up too much I’m so used to sitting on the sidelines Perhaps I talked about my love for Chicago a bit much You temporize your moves to buy some time In the lights of the city, the hypnotic haze We were strolling along And I was thinking I could really be just about anyone
It’s not my cashmere Tiffany & Co’s, 2 pairs, credit card swipe Not about that, huh, too lavish for ya, huh I’m simple, I’m homemade, I might’ve been Too much of me for the you that you were showing me when you were standing with a cigarette & I thought you should dispose of that properly in a trash can Life’s so lavish when it’s only you that’s there for you I don’t live like that And I was thinking I could really be any other girl
He said He falls in love way too soon I thought well if that’s so, you should call a cab Cos I know a love that’s stronger than that Now that’s one way to push me away Cos if you don’t Want the love I’m giving you Yeah, that’s one way to collapse my stay
I’m in bloom every second of every day Chrysanthemums growing from the ends of my painted fingernails Met a guy that didn’t want to get me cut flowers I thought that’s no way to get through to me My skin grows every time I bleed Like just about everyone else in the universe But I want to matter I want to be more than a body I want to be a safe haven Now that’s one way to push me away I thought he should really call a cab
Born to sit on a staircase sippin’ a blue raspberry Icee Dandelions folding around my shoulders Cut it until it bleeds Unfold it until you find the serenity You locked away for nights like these
He said He falls in love way too soon I thought He should Really call himself a cab
I’m a very kind and gracious girl If you let me, I will give you the world But as the brutality of this world continues to unfold My mirror’s edge is veiled, my patience can’t be sold
Give me your garden Make everything quiet I swear I’m prettiest when I’m not lying I won’t give up hoping, I won’t stop trying But it would be a piece of fiction to say I don’t dream of dying
You’re laughing at me My blonde hair blows in the breeze I will prevail, even though they’re dead-set on bringing long-lasting harm to me I see through the trees When I run, you freeze Collapsing in child’s fables isn’t only for the weak Take me with you I want to know what God knows Don’t be scared of the nighttime In the darkest hours, I’m most composed
The more you grow up, the smarter you think you are But in the same circumstances, you always lose yourself I collect hard-cover books of flowers & death spells I know all the wonderful roses by their first and last names I play with my sanity like it’s my favourite win-or-lose game You were always so harsh But me? Oh, so tame Didn’t know how to respond to all the accusations and shame I hate you, I love you It all sounded the same
I’ve decided to take my most loved photo of us down from my shelf I thought it proved we were real The space between you and myself But my mitral valve is still broken, so I can’t afford to inconvenience oneself Though our smiles were true You said it yourself Never seen a girl look at you so warm and heartfelt It hurts now But it didn’t back then Those split seconds repeat in my mind, again and again You were my prince, my most handsome immunogen You said I stunned in my floral dress Dainty and parisienne
I know this frail body wasn’t exactly built to please I’m a young girl too – I have restraint, but I have needs My singleness of purpose is far too remote I tend to break up with boys by posting poems I wrote When I was at my most fragile, I asked you for a rose Your promises were painful because I never got those
But your perseverance to love me will be your best power I stay up wondering how to please you I only sleep a few hours Me at my most tired is me at my most sour How much more beautiful do I need to be, in order to receive a white flower? I’m sort of like a princess stuck at the crown of a tower My father’s hung flyers for the peasants and princes to form a line Some of them have courage Some barely have a spine The common denominator seems to be they’re all trying But if you said it’s to impress me, I’d say that you’re lying
Several days ago, I bought roses To make myself smile I didn’t change the water Just like me, they’re dying
Winters in Chicago were when I felt my most free The wind chill was so strong, I felt it belonged to me It didn’t matter that it was a lake, I still saw it as the sea All I remember are evenings at Argo Tea Feeling happy, just to be me
You must have composure, you must be determined I’m taking care of myself, I’m doing it on purpose The December chill confronts me with things I am sure of Like how spontaneously great heights can collapse Like how the disillusioned are most likely to relapse Like how I felt, true love was almost in my grasp
But as the fog on my window, it visited and then passed It disappeared just like that I’m trying not to react
I’m screaming into my pillow (I’m trying not to react) I’m folding laundry to feel productive (I’m scared of whom I’ll attract) I lied to everybody & said I was fine (I was so scared the whole time) I’m taking every analeptic (I write your name, strike it out with a line)
I picture me in your backyard, Picking grapes off the vine I cried the whole way home, driving past the coastline I thought I didn’t deserve beauty, God doesn’t want me on cloud nine So I hit up your number, Forgot you were atropine And now I’m having trouble sleeping because you aren’t my lifeline I tell you I need you! You say, maybe next time “I’ve got a girl here, she’s helping me escape my mind”
To some people, I’m gorgeous To you, I’m saccharine But everything I am, you will always undermine I’m not your chosen one Never your valentine
I’m the one that treads water Looking for reasons to be alive
If you were safety, you wouldn’t give me your hand You’d sail towards what suits you The palm trees, the sand
I would get tired Give up and drown You wouldn’t say sorry, because you wouldn’t be around
The water obscures my hearing The green-blue current is the only sound I wanted to be loved, the void was what I found But the ocean is my new bliss, so I fade into the background I’m five again, I’ve found my new playground
I would get tired Give up and drown You wouldn’t say sorry, you wouldn’t be around I’m five again, I’ve found my new playground The sea has become my chosen burial ground The green-blue current is the only sound
The void is what I felt, but true love is what I found
I watch you when you’re bad I take careful notes I set them on fire and summon gentle ghosts They won’t scare you or hurt you the most Nothing like true love taken away, not even close
I’m sixteen in a few days, I’m trapped in this body I want you to mimic a system like monoclonal antibodies Feed the hunger Burn the rage Set flames to whom I accused you of being Prove me wrong Come as a surprise I’m finding I don’t make the impression that I imply Sunsets after jazz concerts on the lawn I try to find stingrays in the ocean when I swim I think if this life is a fight, then I’ll most likely win But they’re doing a good job of telling God that I sinned
Like fever dreams Like soft doeskin That came from a being you shouldn’t have touched I wonder at what point will it all be enough Blew smoke in his face, he tried calling my bluff I wake up strong, but I wouldn’t say I’m tough My wrists are so small the cops use child handcuffs I wish I was making all this stuff up
To live a romantic life is to surrender to passion With the weather today, I would say it’s not in fashion Love for me will never be everlasting
I want it to be I desperately hope But we always lose the ones we love the most They hit your bare knees, the cascading blue waves Make you stay up pacing around for days I don’t have the time, and I’ve lost my own place I was so far ahead I was almost there I thought I was close I was almost there I choked on my insides I was almost there I saw my femoral artery Blood soaked my white underwear
Like fever dreams Like soft doeskin That you’ll always regret purchasing because your ex-girlfriend was a vegan and the way she wears pink ribbons in her ash blonde hair makes you go wild You act like a child And I wouldn’t even say your advantage was mild Knock on my door Stay a while I’ll only be happy watching you char in the fire
I know the feeling I know the daze I know the brilliant, beautiful Autumn haze I know Fridays spent alone and solitary Sundays I’ll only respect you if you participate in the chase And God, I love it when you try to plead your case You lost the bet The cops know you You think you get me, but I don’t believe that’s true You’re only with her because there’s nothing else to do
Playing with marbles on the carpet, so they don’t roll too far away I don’t have the time I’ve lost my own place But I clean up nice and live my life with grace
You’re lucky I won’t let you see me face-to-face You won’t forget my brutality for several days It’s my milk white gentleness that you can’t replace I used to tell you I love you, but now I’ll rephrase
The kind of girl you wish you had for the holidays The kind of girl you wish you had for the holidays The kind of girl you wish you had for the holidays As vital to the body as acetylcholinesterase
It’s my resilient nature that will get me through this phase I used to tell you I love you, but now I’ll rephrase
Sometimes at night I think of you (I’m lying – I always think of you) There’s nothing else I’d rather do It’s the bittersweet sting of being hopelessly enamored with you
The more you want it, the farther away it becomes You stay up late and say you’ll sleep next to the sun He says he’s running late, but he never does come That’s the sad truth about not being the only one I twirl my hair I spin around I choke so hard I fall to the ground And if you calculated my efforts, I’d pay by the pound I’m lost in abysmal and undulating surround sound
He put black padding on the walls to keep the voices quiet Asked me what my favourite wine was and said that he’d buy it Passed me angel dust, but I said I won’t try it This time I’m not lying It hurts more to keep trying Don’t blame it on timing If I am dust, you are worn out leather from a cow that loved to live and breathe fresh air You ran your fingers through my soft, blonde hair I knew you were unaware You had me right there You had me
Boys have short attention spans, so I’m working on making my poems shorter As if a somber gaze doesn’t scratch at the envelope As if the disposable cardboard coaster I kept from the bar we went to last year isn’t practically at its wit end But I stare at it at night and I like to pretend That you and I will never end (You spin me round and round, you scream, you bend) I only liked when you were drinking Because you never stopped talking And I could listen to your words for endless summer days
I’m watching my step I’m too sharp for this town I reached the vault of heaven, but you pushed me back down And every time I walk away from you, I turn right back around You’re the most beautiful thing that I have ever found
And if you want me, please tell me That’s all that I ask Because I don’t know how much longer I can contain this chaotic energy, it’s only a setback It pays for my grave Collects debt at the tollbooth Serves me a clean slate I can’t afford and makes it taste like dry vermouth A botanical celestial atmosphere where there was you and I appeared and you said come here, baby girl, my doe-eyed dear Please, my angel, don’t you ever disappear
I say never Won’t do it I’ll always be here
But you’re so distant from me that my words sound unclear And the walls are blurry and they’re bleeding red And I bought pink satin sheets for my queen-sized bed And I wait every night for you to come fall sleep But if your love cuts my skin, it doesn’t go very deep If your flaws were secrets, they’d be mine to keep And I replay your laugh in my mind on fucking repeat
I know only one thing that’ll make me complete But if it’s me against her, I’m too weak to compete I am a glacier dissolving in sunburns and aggressive summer heat But I still thank God because he arranged for us to meet I know it as much as I love the window seat But I see you and her, so I make a spreadsheet Of all the ways this is going to kill me Please stop, only you can heal me I need you like candy I crave all of you I know that my hopes are too good to be true So I lay on the concrete, I only see in ocean-blue
I scream at God for letting me fall in love with you It’s 3 in the morning There’s nothing else to do
