Tag: about a boy

Poem: Lying in a field of daisies

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Poem: Lying in a field of daisies

It was Saturday; daisies and sweet sunshine
I bought myself kiwi-watermelon wine
Caught up to you right on time
After work you have a few hours to see me
I’m trying real hard to not tell you the truth about all of the things that are going on with me
If you knew, you’d flee
Though I do better when you’re gone
I never said that I was done
But I like holding your arm like this
Introduce me to your adorable little fish
That you have different names for, and varying relationships with
I almost died on the sixth
You were the last thing on my lips

Your apartment’s above a bakery so we wake up to the smell of cookies and muffins
You ask me something serious, I tell you I got nothing
I’m not made out the way you wanted
I can tell, my thoughts are haunted
I wonder if you’d mind if I just, disappeared
For a while
Long enough to write more poetry that isn’t about you
Long enough to find myself in ways more than pink and blue
Long enough to try to escape the physical body I feel chained and restrained to
Look, it’s going to rain
It’s like God saw me and noticed I’m in pain
I wish I could see my dad again

I looked through my tank playing cards, admiring that T-34
I found his old letters, so many pages I gripped, and I tore
I couldn’t stop myself
I wanted them off my shelf
I should have called for help
But I don’t know whether you are or you aren’t one of those boys that picks up the phone when a girl calls you in the middle of the work day
And to be honest I wasn’t ready to find out that way
So on my light pink bedspread I fell backwards and lay
The moon orchestrated this day
I have faith in the sun but not the stars
I love the different models of them high-up cars
I don’t really mind if all we go to are bars
Just know that here we are
In a place that’s
Silent
Quiet
Not meant for people that bring the noise

Lying in a field of daisies
For a young ballerina, I’ve never looked so poised
And I know by your expression that it makes you annoyed
Go to sleep, close your eyes, listen to the twirling fan noise

Lying in a field of daisies
My response to your behavior has got me annoyed
I’ll stay in a hotel tonight, I’ll pay the fee
Maybe when I get out, I’ll finally be free

Lying in a field of daisies


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Poem: Brand new, morning dew

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Brand new, morning dew

You
You just accept
That we could’ve been the best
That you and I are worlds apart
I can’t forget the rest
You, wearing blue
I walk away from you
I hate telling you the truth
I’m sober and so full of you

white rose, flower, dew

Me
Here
Waiting a long time for the train
Sipping my cappuccino in the rain
Wishing I could start again
Brand new
Morning dew
Confiscate the worst words from you
That you throw in my direction
The police break down our door for an inspection
They try to take what’s the best of us
They can’t take this away from us
I’m everything you wanted and more
And more, and more, and more
I’m everything you wanted and more

Walking to the market
You in my favorite boy outfit
White t-shirt and black jeans
The sky today feels serene
You’re in a bad mood, you get mean
Sudden hospitality
Animosity towards those who aren’t us
We chain ourselves into a box
False pretense that we’re free

But thank god it’s you and me
Thank god it’s you and me

But thank god it’s you and me
Thank god it’s you and me

While the others live tragically, it’s still you and me

shirt, white shirt, monochrome

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Poem: Paranoid and proud (10,000 times)

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Paranoid and proud (10,000)

Enigmatic, or desolate

I knock on your door slowly
Trembling
I don’t want to interrupt your work
You tell me to crawl over to the desk
I said babe, I’ve got a headache
My hair is a mess
I can’t pass your tests

I’m stupid and paranoid
None of your answers make sense
Where were you last Tuesday
Who was that in the car
You reach for another cigar
You’re the most beautiful boy but your personality is tar
You’re mean about my scars

A variation of you and me (but it’s just a fantasy)

The white roses have died
Is it me or my pride
That I always remind you of how my favorite man died
I know I’m a burden, I scream on the inside
Walking on eggshells
Tiny glass fragments
When you threw the vase at the wall because you couldn’t find your glasses
The white roses, they’ve died anyway
Entered a state of decay
Quite like I have, and it’s how I will stay
The light has left me, what do you make of my remains
I’m more revolting every day

Chaos and butterflies
Surprise me with flowers
Plant a tree every time you yawn when I talk about my interests
If this isn’t love or lust then what is this
Why do I sit on your lap every time you come around
How come I put my face to a pillow so that I don’t make a sound
How come you told me that the next time I get lost you hope I won’t ever be found
Like pitch black surround sound

I turn to the other side
I do my best to hide
Is that another exhibition of my pride?

You told me you loved to listen
You lied
Ten thousand times

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Instragram: @Lilacdovee

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Poem: 3 missed calls

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I want to fall in love

flowers, bouquet, floral

Would you rather keep all the memories you have up until now?
Or start all over again
I ask you while we’re walking alongside the fog, the mountains
The sea on the other side
Would you want to live this life over?
I pick at a four-leaf clover
Come over for dinner, and let’s go out for dessert
I want to fall in love
But I don’t want it to hurt
I dig through the dirt

The sea on the other side

But I don’t want it to hurt

I feel lost and alone
Statements I never thought I’d share
I’ve shed enough of my personality to the point where I’m rebuilding it
Look at me in this black dress, how’s the fit of it?
I have panic attacks, I can’t manage it
But I do
I do

Sunday evening, watching the news
Holding the baby
You come in, new vinyl in, midtown Blues
Just thinking, I think I found a clue
About what you’re about to do
You feed off opportunity, I’ll catch up to you

pink, rose, flower
Collapsing all of the time

Going 120 miles per hour, I need the sky to go from blue to grey
I can’t stand up straight when things don’t go my way
I fall into the warm bath
Slip under, wet my long hair
Blue and blues and blue again
Turn me into someone I’m not
Tell me it’s my phone number you’ve forgot
My voicemail at the end of your beat on SoundCloud
Think you can bring a tough crowd?
You, and your life — are you proud?
It’s 500 Fahrenheit
Am I shouting too loud?
Too distracted trying to deal, barely making a sound

In a daze- it’s a familiar haze

I slip and fall into the bath
Wash my hair, scrub my porcelain face
Trying not to have a third panic attack
The dial kept going, you said you’d call right back
I’m a masterpiece in God’s eyes
I’m a drug in them guys’ eyes

But when I look at myself
(And I’m screaming and shouting)
And I pull my hair out
(And I’m screaming and shouting)
And the fog rolls in
(And I’m screaming and –

3 missed calls

blue lagoon, pool, swimming

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Poem: Wisconsin blues

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I’ll be next to you

Wisconsin blues
I’m sitting right next to you

whoisbenjamin-PhV0oeiXYsk-unsplash

To be creative, you need to be able to respond to pain.

I read the news as I wait for the train
CTA baby, ask me out I’ll say maybe
I’m in need of something refreshing
Something to soothe me
Coax me out of this identity
Let me relive the past but only the brilliance of it
Please don’t send me back there
Not the facility
I can’t give up my tranquility
That appears only when the atmosphere fades to black
My insecurities are under attack
Hold on babe someone’s on the other line, wait for me, I’ll be right back

lachlan-gowen-0s0WCiys0ZI-unsplash

Since the dawn of time
I can’t even remember that far ago
I like it in Wisconsin when I look out the window at the mounds of snow
I give you a kiss on the shoulder and you don’t have to say you love me, I just know
You did it again
You made my day
Took the somber right out of me
Molded me like clay
I think I’m going to be okay

I think I’m going to be okay
I think I’m going to be okay
I think I’m going to be okay
I think I’m going to be okay

On another day

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