Raspberries and bleachers, always got my head in the clouds Let’s go to all the places we’re not allowed Diamonds have meaning when I look at them now It always feels special when you come around town I place faith in you Because you place value in me Playing your new song with heavy surround sound
Being happy sounds nice & refreshing It’s seldom what I’m ever expecting And you know how I love to keep you guessing Tune you in to that in which I’m obsessing
A transient thought My hopeless nature I’m getting the feeling I’m kind of your favourite
I place faith in you Because you place value in me Life is sublime with its intricate subtleties Four thirty a.m., I’m so glad we could speak Come over & share the entire room with me
Fresh rosemary and homegrown tomatoes on the vine I’m one in a million Truth be told, I’ll make you mine I want to be there for you while I’m still in my prime I’ll teach you the names of all the bones in your spine
I’m not going to leave You paint the white on my teeth I keep you somewhere very close to me Honorable mention in my thoughts Lemonade & apricots Picnics underneath the white sunshine
I said it; I meant it I laughed, then forgot Your beloved sports team and our love for Arthropods I’ll bring you calm whenever you get pissed off Let’s live in the sparkling world that belongs to God
I tend to forget what I’m worth I’ll trust that your intention is not to hurt We’ll wear each others’ onyx black and charcoal grey shirts We’ll create our own version of heaven on Earth
I’m willing to place faith in you If you take notice of the value in me
And that’s all that he needs from her Pretty gal in his Vans t-shirt “Felt cute,” so I matched it with a plaid skirt I didn’t think you’d notice; when you didn’t, it still hurt
To know that I Am not The important figurine my egotistical self deems me to be If our destinations were predetermined, I know you’d still find a way to hurt me on purpose Was so confused, wondered why I was acting so nervous Fell into a tar black trap trying to become perfect I think to myself, was it worth it If it’s me, you’ll always think less Doesn’t matter the lip shade or the dress Doesn’t matter how warm the hostess
The pretty dresses that I bought to look like your housewife Don’t even fit me anymore since I recovered and came back to life I don’t think paradise is Looking at a light pink satin gown Having daydreams, strolling around town Nobody to look at, so where I look is down Beneath the surface, off the edges, your voice is my favourite sound I hate, hate, hate not having it around You lost yourself or something, your irrationality is profound In this parallel universe, a new beginning is what I’ve found When I think about my love, I kind of love myself now
Ambiguity and confusion Inspiration and bliss Hair soft & golden, my perfume is what you’ll miss The floral soft magnitudes The strings on your toys One of your wrong moves was assuming there were any other boys When the yelling got too heavy, I surrendered to the noise I never cried in front of you; I held myself with poise Some things don’t really matter when you don’t have a choice
I recognized a softness In you, but it was me I’m the girl with pastel colours, who makes life lovely A beautiful, sacred place to be You felt so far away that I could not see The visions that you had of me kept smothering me You had an advantage You ran out of chances You never considered the stones I held To believe in something, to pretend You loved being adored I was alone and bored Pick out keychains with our names at the corner store Saying that you love me always seemed like such a chore
You move one way, I step right back I held on tight; I now regret that It takes some time for me to become attached But the memories that we contain run like a time-lapse And I have flashbacks Panic attacks Running right after you, you screaming right back I’m the glass wind shield, you’re the baseball bat This isn’t what love is like, do you realize that?
I made my resolution early To not find myself trapped I wrap my wings around my torso like a little baby bat I think of you while in traffic, I get so mad I’m not your baby doll no more, I’m never coming back
Running right after you, you screaming right back I’m the Victorian vanity mirror, you’re the one whose mad Then you tell me you love me, but you look at me like that I’m not your baby doll no more
We’re sitting down at a soft-lit diner You’re asking about my old man, the coal miner I think of soft petals when I see you
Your grey truck is parked out front There’s flowers in my hair and flowers in my hands The only arguments we have are about who are the best bands And I always win I always win
You listen to the things I say, like they’re important And your gorgeous pale skin is coming to focus I’m not sure when I want to press the shutter Because I just love looking at you like this Ambivalent Pink kiss Collagen lips I love looking at you like this
This is about the time that I begin to get paranoid But, no My gaze is on you The sky interrupts me into pieces I have nothing to be guilty about I think I’ve got it figured out
I’m madly in heaven; the ocean is crisp The sea makes me forget about the bitter drip Your eyes are magnified
Ambivalent Pink kiss Collagen lips I love looking at you like this
I found myself without inspiration So I didn’t write for weeks I think you know I think you know If I took your hand, where I would lead you to
I have nothing to be guilty about This time around This time around I’m running away from you on the playground I’m running away from you on the playground
Your voice is my new favourite sound I say to you Speak loud
This time around This time around I’m running away from you on the playground Your voice is my new favourite sound Your voice is my new favourite sound
The ocean is crisp I love looking at you like this
I’m a very kind and gracious girl If you let me, I will give you the world But as the brutality of this world continues to unfold My mirror’s edge is veiled, my patience can’t be sold
Give me your garden Make everything quiet I swear I’m prettiest when I’m not lying I won’t give up hoping, I won’t stop trying But it would be a piece of fiction to say I don’t dream of dying
You’re laughing at me My blonde hair blows in the breeze I will prevail, even though they’re dead-set on bringing long-lasting harm to me I see through the trees When I run, you freeze Collapsing in child’s fables isn’t only for the weak Take me with you I want to know what God knows Don’t be scared of the nighttime In the darkest hours, I’m most composed
The more you grow up, the smarter you think you are But in the same circumstances, you always lose yourself I collect hard-cover books of flowers & death spells I know all the wonderful roses by their first and last names I play with my sanity like it’s my favourite win-or-lose game You were always so harsh But me? Oh, so tame Didn’t know how to respond to all the accusations and shame I hate you, I love you It all sounded the same
I’ve decided to take my most loved photo of us down from my shelf I thought it proved we were real The space between you and myself But my mitral valve is still broken, so I can’t afford to inconvenience oneself Though our smiles were true You said it yourself Never seen a girl look at you so warm and heartfelt It hurts now But it didn’t back then Those split seconds repeat in my mind, again and again You were my prince, my most handsome immunogen You said I stunned in my floral dress Dainty and parisienne
I know this frail body wasn’t exactly built to please I’m a young girl too – I have restraint, but I have needs My singleness of purpose is far too remote I tend to break up with boys by posting poems I wrote When I was at my most fragile, I asked you for a rose Your promises were painful because I never got those
But your perseverance to love me will be your best power I stay up wondering how to please you I only sleep a few hours Me at my most tired is me at my most sour How much more beautiful do I need to be, in order to receive a white flower? I’m sort of like a princess stuck at the crown of a tower My father’s hung flyers for the peasants and princes to form a line Some of them have courage Some barely have a spine The common denominator seems to be they’re all trying But if you said it’s to impress me, I’d say that you’re lying
Several days ago, I bought roses To make myself smile I didn’t change the water Just like me, they’re dying
Winters in Chicago were when I felt my most free The wind chill was so strong, I felt it belonged to me It didn’t matter that it was a lake, I still saw it as the sea All I remember are evenings at Argo Tea Feeling happy, just to be me
You must have composure, you must be determined I’m taking care of myself, I’m doing it on purpose The December chill confronts me with things I am sure of Like how spontaneously great heights can collapse Like how the disillusioned are most likely to relapse Like how I felt, true love was almost in my grasp
But as the fog on my window, it visited and then passed It disappeared just like that I’m trying not to react
I’m screaming into my pillow (I’m trying not to react) I’m folding laundry to feel productive (I’m scared of whom I’ll attract) I lied to everybody & said I was fine (I was so scared the whole time) I’m taking every analeptic (I write your name, strike it out with a line)
I picture me in your backyard, Picking grapes off the vine I cried the whole way home, driving past the coastline I thought I didn’t deserve beauty, God doesn’t want me on cloud nine So I hit up your number, Forgot you were atropine And now I’m having trouble sleeping because you aren’t my lifeline I tell you I need you! You say, maybe next time “I’ve got a girl here, she’s helping me escape my mind”
To some people, I’m gorgeous To you, I’m saccharine But everything I am, you will always undermine I’m not your chosen one Never your valentine
I’m the one that treads water Looking for reasons to be alive
If you were safety, you wouldn’t give me your hand You’d sail towards what suits you The palm trees, the sand
I would get tired Give up and drown You wouldn’t say sorry, because you wouldn’t be around
The water obscures my hearing The green-blue current is the only sound I wanted to be loved, the void was what I found But the ocean is my new bliss, so I fade into the background I’m five again, I’ve found my new playground
I would get tired Give up and drown You wouldn’t say sorry, you wouldn’t be around I’m five again, I’ve found my new playground The sea has become my chosen burial ground The green-blue current is the only sound
The void is what I felt, but true love is what I found
Essence of a modern girl I promise if I fall in love with you, I’ll give you the whole world Stars and spaceships are what I’m made of My high ballet bun is your favourite I sit on the hoods of F-150s and smoke your last pack of menthols You miss hearing me speak? Pick up the phone, and then call I’m softer this time, I’m breaking out of these cell walls I climb the stairs to the roof, close my eyes, and then fall
I taste like strawberries You like me already I’m getting afraid of when I have to tell you the ending It’s painful on purpose It’s an accident you found me I think there’s a way we can do this real sweetly And I see your wisdom and kindness in every strong tree You have my warmest regards, you’re now protected by me Benevolence is my new form of safety Gentle reminders that I can live carefree
Real love is heavenly Real love is meant to be Real love is white roses and a cup of Earl Grey tea And I had the growing feeling that it just wasn’t meant for me I sing real softly I can’t stop coughing I want for you and me to do all these things with honesty The honeymoon period, the vividness of novelty I live a sincere life of literature and botany But I have these things, they’ve really been haunting me I hate to digress I do it unconsciously
I don’t want to lie to myself It hurts my self-esteem, it affects my health I’ve got this adorable greeting card on my bookshelf I’m saving it for a month’s anniversary with my future boy I want to celebrate every minute Scatter patience and joy Erase the mold the last two years has made on my delicate bones Unwavering I’m caving in And I don’t even expect to be loved in return
Trace your skeleton at night Kiss you twice, hold you tight If you have me by your side, you will always be alright Best girlfriend of the year I eat lunch alone, right here Maybe you could sit down with me and tell me all your biggest fears
I feel love inside me I spread it everywhere When’s the last time you looked at someone and really felt that they cared?
I’ll sit right beside you I promise I’ll be right there If you can’t see your grandeur, I’ll make you aware
For such a small person, I have so much to share I’ll sit right beside you I’ll be right there
