Arachnids are crawling all over me. They’re starting to really itch my knees But, honey, the way you throw your head back When you laugh At the way I dance To these songs that I’m showing you right now, in this light, You are sunshine, Pure sunshine.
I’ll learn how to pick a lock just for you If that’s seriously what you want me to do I’ll find an online manual, I don’t even care where I’m afraid of the things I would do for you But I keep it very composed, calm and close And the way you look with your mauve lip gloss Sunshine Bright lights Yellow dahlias So mine
You look way too beautiful to be sleeping in a bed That’s Lying flat on the floor I mean, I’m pretty sure I hate when I find songs that make me perfectly think of you, I end up playing them into the night.
I don’t even know what this fragrance is But, oh my, am I all over you There is rosewater flowing out of the tap And a white pickup truck in my driveway Oh my, what am I to do? Oh my, what am I to do with you? So fragrant, so lush Like fruit How soon can I marry you?
I had a surprisingly good dream for once. Seems like the night terrors are temporarily at bay All it was was that I was having a conversation with someone who was looking straight at me and Laughing In the loveliest of ways. He just wanted to hear what I had to say next Somehow I felt so comfortable sitting there in my seat I kept making jokes I kept stumbling over my words What’s new there? But I was so happy, for once, I think And I woke up, and I told my mother that I had had such a splendid dream But it was only a simple conversation. The kind that the normal people have seen.
I have On repeat Every day, Like a habit Muted faces Mutilation Picket fences Fresh paint Every day Like a perfect habit Dirty pickup truck That I wash every Saturday And I see the plane flying And I don’t wanna be on it Because I’m comfortable being right here Because of your perfume
Intoxicating Trembling Can’t quite describe The ending All that I Remember Is the smell of Your Perfume
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Fresh lint from the dryer My niece is crying Because a boy pulled a baby-pink ribbon straight from her hair & I told her, don’t worry He didn’t take anything real from you The most genuine things are More intangible than they seem
So now I’m at the laundromat Watching my lavender and velvet blanket dry Something too delicate of material to end up in this white, vacant space But I have already been charged For a thousand liar’s crimes Not my own, but it’s easy to take the blame When the minds of the reckoners aren’t something you can change
Love poem: Passenger door // grocery store [continued]
I used to dream about being held By someone so powerful That they could both start and end bar fights for me Think I was in my early twenties So my wildest visions Would make little sense to someone truly thinking of settling down You have to act your age In this kind of upscale town
Then you handed me a receipt Me, counting your naturally full lashes How strong they must be and if only Mine were too To resist my pulling them out When I both do and don’t have free time Which my mother would say is a crime But laugh with me thereafter Because true love doesn’t see you in black or in white Genuine love both does and does not fight
Love poem: Passenger door // grocery store [continued]
Your voice was alarming Because it began softening Every tense fibre locked and chained to itself within my body I warm my shivering shoulders with how hotly My breath is on evenings Like this one, in which I could not care less about who or what surrounds you and me They are just bodies And you are warm nectar That only the most tender of creatures know how to find
I showed up on time Your shift is almost over But I am too shy So, I take my bags Spill a few things, say it’s alright “You don’t have to help me” (Oh man, but I want you to) Pretend I have plans when you ask what I’m doing (I am such a poor liar, the truth practically stained on my teeth)
I want you to go sit in the driver’s seat Open the passenger door for me
The type of girl that you want to meet And to think that we met on the street And you watched me tag my website on the grey, electrical box in black sharpie and cursive For nobody to read, to not bother to glance And you laughed not at me, but with me Like we were on amphetamines Like you aren’t as traffic-stopping, rush-hour-madness gorgeous as you are How you framed a framework of genuine spirit And the spirits on your golden side table And the sweet drinks you made me because you store simple syrup Little bartender in a black top With hair like she just left the Manhattan salon With a smile like she’s been happy all along
I don’t think I ever mentioned it at all I was just Struck By the plants you have arranged on your glass windowsill The cotton, white, dreamlike, lush bedspread (I made your bed for you like a hundred times) I wanted to show you I can perform acts of service Because I clean when I get nervous
And my god, my dear god My god, did you make me nervous But not on purpose Some people exude a confidence that inspires the same thing in yourself But there’s still this nervous laughter of How is she so composed How is she hardly older than I, and so, so – Full of experience Full of delight Worth talking and laughing from dark to the morning light If this is fleeting, I can accept that But some people You want to know what lets them breathe And I’ve got your clothes, I’ll give them right back My New York damsel in sovereignty, too chill to be distressed I’ll have you at your worst; I’ve already seen you at your best
But I’ll have you at your worst; I’ve already seen you at your best
I hope that you’re happy I hope you wake up and fall in love with the world I hope your parents love you And if they don’t, I hope that in your head you tell them to go fuck themselves but keep them in your prayers every night You deserve Confetti streamers on your birthday Someone to travel on the train for 2.5 hours with 29 golden balloons to Surprise you with celebration
Something about you is so familiar Something about you is so new You looked at me with cocaine eyes when I grew solemn and blue But I wasn’t tired of you I was just tired- I was up all night! This girl’s got a bedtime And I slept well But it might be my insecurity, for I can’t tell
If I made the right impression God, I talked so much Why’d you make me feel so comfortable! Why did I have to enjoy your presence! Under the city street lights when I first glanced in your direction, I thought “my god, she probably has everything”
The first impression That you made It is one that may partially come from you, and a portion from the book you lent me Well, I’ll read it, and all that you highlighted – I love the little shades of blue hue I’ll learn your secrets I hope you’re living A life you dreamt of I hope to be Someone you’ll send a message to when you’re Stuck Not knowing what to wear, Bored and want to make me a drink, talk about the weather, don’t even have to think Want someone to make you laugh about everything Because I’m good at being that
My New Year’s resolution is to be accepting of myself So I can stop second-guessing whether others accept me And start living life as boldly and securely as you appear, you stunning avalanche of a porcelain doll
Think I’m starting to think This year is going to be new for me It’s only the seventh, and I’m on my pink bedspread in your cream white sweater Somehow we’re the same size Even though you’re smaller Porcelain and clover, golden and sapphire
And you like luxury the way I do And you don’t eat animals because you care And we’re the same age but wiser beyond our years Even though the boys would never tell us that our face
You’re awfully good at first impressions Is there anything that I forgot to mention? Shut up, don’t make fun of me for my apprehension
Make love to me under the twinkling lights Let me give you directions
Porcelain skin, long princess hair With plants on your windowsill Downtown Los Angeles, May earth baby girl of nonchalance & sheer observation
Because being alive is just enough for you Because being alive comes naturally to you And you told me, not once- but twice That you’re happy I’m here too New York baby doll You were a star in the fleeting night While you’re in your studio, I’ll be right here I’ll be right here The things you said to me They meant so much to me to hear
The plants arranged on your windowsill I can’t wait to tell you their genus and species Because I like biology And you like theories And your projector television screen illuminated a light upon your silhouette that made you look even more like a fever dream
In your cream sweater I feel much better
So call me if you ever want to chat about the weather
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A penchant for swimming in rivers too deep to be my abyss In fragile momentum, I find Apricots And shades of silver lightning Collapsing interwoven honeyed harmonies that indicate a linear adoration Cut like a crisp stone scattered in orchestration but ruined by damage That seeped up when I went to sleep and I found that to be the last drawback I sailed too fast I redact my last remark I kissed you too fast Didn’t know where to start So I plunged so far ahead of time I thought I almost lost you but In your pink cashmere sweater you said I was better Than all the last ones combined And I laughed Softly Globally Hopefully
Alone in the car, I stared at the floor The bitter horror found me gazing at whatever was familiar I took the cobblestone and I built a new throne But it felt so empty sitting there all alone You know the name of every anatomical bone And your collarbone is like morning ballet on a fresh Sunday, holding white roses for performers Putting your arm around me Chemicals of amphetamine Pink cashmere daydream
Holier than heavy black tar That we cleaned like available vacuums at a self car wash Dispensable Agreeable A comfort to the chaos A detachment so surreal You kept moving my long blonde hair because it covered my eyes And that Bothered you Slightly I’m too shy to figure out why I wouldn’t dare say you wanted to See me In the wild Winter storms for cars that have poor engines Screwed up transmission To be by your side at a fireplace That’s Sunday for the moon to bear witness That Sunday when we drank tea and Truly engaged, we Smiled for long periods of time As the world passed us by,
I looked across the field and I saw what you meant about how the haze seems so foggy So transgressed You find clouded cataracts in vast open skies You find evening channels on the television Your visor doesn’t fit you My baseball caps need to be adjusted We split caramel lollipops into two and talk about all the things we’re planning to do I believe in you I truly believe in you
The gas station where your face becomes rosy-pink because I paid you a compliment Or three You’re blushing It’s charming And yet so disarming Because I’m just a girl and I don’t know what I’m doing And you So self-assured So on path, so on-course Layered within your default settings of adjustment tendencies I’m small So small Like a stone In water Always underwater Always plunging down Always in sheer phosphorescent shadows of blue And I make my way to you And you tell me to go pay the cashier I read your last name on your credit card Not once But twice
I make my way Back to the station wagon with your favourite chips And Mountain Dew Good with navigation Reads maps for the sheer delight of it The fruits of our labor Rear mirror directed towards you for you to put light pink lip gloss on Like a Princess Like a fairy tale Like diamonds Like matcha green tea lattes that you pay for out of sheer hospitality Because you’re older
Because you’re older Getting rosy-pink cheeks I said you were sweet You’re playing the song I have a tattoo of on my thigh on repeat Because you’re so sweet Because you’re older Because your cheeks are rosy-pink
Can’t miss a single second I try not to blink Don’t want to miss a single thing I try not to blink
Because you’re older Because you’re so sweet Because your cheeks are rosy-pink
Live in modest obscurity Classic California beach living Sunglasses, shades, Maseratis, fast cars, soda pop A life that has been glamorized Or so I had hypothesized He wouldn’t even be reading in between my lines Too busy thinking about himself all the time
Perhaps a few motels overlooking the coast Empty parking lots Paint a vision for yourself Soft ice cream in all good health Said you were sober, had liquor on the top shelf Honey, I thought you loved yourself
Ladies, you know me for my diamonds I’ll show you everything sparkly that’s designer That girl you once knew, you’re right behind her To enjoy the high life without mascara on To come to rise with the evening sun To know how to really know someone Stay omnipresent – hot, wild, and young Like every morning, a new life has just begun Dark spaces for dark traces of ice-cold skeletons Bones only fit like fragments Do what you’re told Let your dream love life in front of you start to unfold
Everything in the right order Everything in the right order Everything all the same Everything all the same
Lying between last quarter and new moon I figured when we’d talk, we would be with each other soon There are words on my body, on yours – video game cartoons You never meant to express how little I meant to you
I started noticing in conversation When the focus was on us, you lacked elation I quit my work for you, I gave up waiting I became so exhausted not living, but waiting I tried to show you I was patient You hate yourself like you’re tainted Letting of go of the dream that one day you and I would make it
Now I’m in the doorway, sort of half-naked I’m alone, but I’m tranquil, and nothing you do will change it
I’m alone but I’m tranquil Nothing you do will change it
