Tag: about a boy

Nothing beautiful ever lasts

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Nothing beautiful ever lasts

(venom like frostbite on a Sunday morning)


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My gal pal and I were feeling the hot July mist as we dipped our carefully painted toes in the pool
Swaying our arms to make waves like hurricanes
Flowers blossomed
My best friend
She jokingly said that I’m holding out on love
Not letting anybody too close
Painful reminders of past ghosts
Motorcycles, some of those
I said I’m living like I’m practically comatose
I wake up, open the shades, want to close them back again and fall into a slumber so deep my manager starts calling since I didn’t show up for work
It’s just too much work
And I’m impatient
Stagnant in some ways
Although I am crisp, I say that in a daze
The sky turns ablaze
Hot fire surrounds us

She’s crying and her mascara drips down her rose cheeks
I don’t know what I did
But it’s always me doing something
I remind people of their painful pasts
I refresh their memory that nothing beautiful ever lasts
I put one in mind of the fact that every little time you think something’s good, something’s right
It never is
Your worries become his
And that’s hard to dismiss

I’m not evil
I think I’m not
But the last guy said he hopes my body will rot
I thought it was kind of funny, which sent him in shock
I told him again and again that I’m not quite his flavor
The poor boy, I was doing him a favor!
The January wind came to whisk me away
He locked the door, practically begged me to stay
But it wasn’t hard to walk away (search for new prey)
I’m like a ship that’s too in love with the waves
Goes the wrong way for days
Doesn’t realize there’s a dock waiting, that you don’t have to escape
My vision turns gold and then grey
Nothing beautiful stays
So I celebrate the decay
Am I better off that way?

Morning dew is my favourite
When roses blossom, I’m in heaven
I remember being young, timid, and seven
Pushing my fingers directly into thorns
Gave me a rush that went straight to my bones
I was so little! A young mind so awake
Until I started bleeding and I’d start to shake
Some people are poison, like the tinctures I make
I’m fake I’m fake I’m fake

For God’s sake (my sake and yours) 
Pass me a cider
White roses when you greet me
Try to make me smile
Soon we’ll be dead and no longer will you see me

So I celebrate the decay
Am I better off that way?



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    distantcaveLeave a comment

    Poem: Love you in fragments

    Love you in fragments – love you in fragments – love you in fragments – love you 




    Author

    The author of the poetry on Lilac Dove is a young girl living on the outskirts of Los Angeles, twirling her hair with her finger and eating sour candy, as she writes about the strangeness of her life.

    Softness and silk

    I love you in fragments
    Like pieces of a puzzle

    That no matter how hard I try to make out the shapes just right

    I’m always wrong

    I find myself thinking about things like
    Do you paint pictures of me in your mind before going to sleep
    Before resting your beautiful tan head on the mattress because you don’t like pillows
    You joke they’re too soft
    But I’m soft
    Fragile in places I’ll never admit out loud
    Paradise found
    You call, and I’m the happiest girl in the United States of America

    To dream is to escape reality

    But you just ask me questions
    Like I’m an encyclopedia of the world
    And while I’m charmed that you value my intellect so
    It still feels shallow
    A jellyfish catching me after I lose out on a killer wave
    When I’m with you, I always tend to misbehave
    Reconsider my decisions later
    Wonder if I could have done better
    But you encapsulate me every time
    Put me in a bubble with no oxygen, so with every one of my screams I’m losing out on life
    Is that what this is like?

    There were times when I felt divine

    Reconsider my decisions later
    Wonder if I could have done better
    Thankful that I still have your sweater
    Accept the parts of you no-one else sees
    Parts of you that are rust- to me, are shiny
    Pick up the phone every time you call

    Which as of late, has been no time at all

    Leave me a voicemail
    Tell me you love me
    Leave me a voicemail
    Don’t let go when you hug me
    Reconsider my decisions later
    Wonder if I could have done better

    Go to bed every night in your sweater


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    Poem: En juillet, la pluie tant attendue est enfin tombée.

    distantcaveLeave a comment

    Poem: En juillet, la pluie tant attendue est enfin tombée.

    Your 4 by 4
    My innocence
    Sweet hot suspense
    90 miles per hour on the curves up the mountain, to show me what you know about being intense
    Rain comes down and I’m listening to the Bends

    I want to keep tabs on you even though it’s the wrong thing to do
    Like deja vu
    I’m rose, you’re blue
    Falling off the skyscrapers ’cause I’m having fun
    Nobody says I’m beautiful
    I know it’s not that pitiful
    And I’m so damn ill, it hurts

    I found rejection in the cusp of a rose
    I rolled my eyes and thought, of course

    Congeniality isn’t my default
    I had in mind all of these things to say
    But I’m inclined to say I no longer get my way
    For the devil’s child, it’s gotten late
    I found,
    You down
    On your darkest day
    I had in mind all of these things to say
    I wanted to tell you I felt you fading away
    And that wasn’t okay

    I have a feeling you need to find yourself again
    But I’m scared to leave because I know you need some help

    I have a feeling you need to find yourself again
    But I’m scared to leave because I know you need some help
    I know you need some help

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    Poem: White mustang, no cigarettes

    distantcaveLeave a comment

    Poem: White mustang, no cigarettes

    Out of all my vices
    Got no more cigarettes
    Marriage is a stretch, it’s far-fetched
    A violent vehemence
    That I got caught in because he said I was one of his regrets
    One of his regrets
    I’d protest to that
    Absence of evidence

    I’m a humble girl, I’m real cool
    Catch me doing laps in the swimming pool
    I objectify God; in all his heavens I rule
    I’m not what you’re used to
    But as strange as this fancy, rugged life turns out to be
    I have a strange sense I won’t make it past thirty
    What’s not to be is not meant to be
    Coca Cola and vanilla ice cream in the evenings
    Different rituals for different seasons
    A stray cat, got loose, we’ll make it even
    I lay back, underneath the sun, I’m gleaming
    Strangers make strange choices for strange reasons

    ♥ Strangers make strange choices for strange reasons ♥

    ♥ I’m bored to death and my glamour is fading ♥

    I’m bored to death and my glamour is fading
    With every cheap trick you try
    I glance out the window, months just fly by
    My ego’s even on the same page, telling me to get rid of you
    It’s like taking out the trash
    One long-winded heroin crash
    I pour myself a warm bath
    Collapse
    Small movements
    Trembling
    Hands around my knees, hold them close to me
    Like when I held your hand, and my heart felt safe
    You were looking real nice for what was a blind date
    Cigarettes into ash, swear I thought it was fate
    The way your fingers interlaced my wire front gate
    Never over five minutes late

    I’m made of caramel syrup & mocha drizzle
    You taste it, you want more, I only give you a little
    I’m fairly humble in my opinion
    You’ll be home any minute
    And I can’t wait until you get home and see my stuff is all packed
    I’m going back to the city where we stayed on track
    Listening to White Mustang on replay, back to back
    Lana’s the only one to bring me joy
    I know you’re starting to sweat, you’re feeling paranoid
    It previously hadn’t occured to you that I’m someone you enjoy
    The glisten on the shine of my watermelon nail polish
    The sparkles of pink and white of my carefully creased eye shadow
    I’m not meant for this household
    Realistically it should only occupy one man
    Quite frankly I don’t care if you do or you do not understand
    We’re crumbling like an avalanche
    I’m coughing up sand

    I stayed in your company because God, I love snow
    I love champagne and wearing conservative dresses to the company engagements you’d invite me too
    ’till one day I caught your gaze, you looked oh so blue
    Like the fakeness of it all finally got through to you
    You realized you weren’t capable of loving a doll like me
    Little bumble bee
    Awfully cruel, brutal honesty

    Out of all my vices
    Got no cigarettes
    I remember when you said I would become your favourite regret
    You used to say I was heaven-sent
    You remember that agreement we made behind a peach sunset?
    First one to leave gets custody

    I’m packed
    I’m through
    I give you a note
    “First one to leave gets custody”


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    Poem: Too trusting

    distantcaveLeave a comment

    Poem: Too trusting

    I stay wondering
    If my father was watching over me, how could he steer me into your direction
    It must be a fault of his
    Perhaps some way of showing me I’m smarter than this
    Crawling back to your pink lips
    The detriment of this miss

    I keep thinking to myself
    Why would, knowing the things that I know, I go back to you
    Sleepless nights, catering to my deepest thoughts that are blue
    Swimming in technicolor sound waves, I reimburse
    The fact that you and I are too much alike in the ways we run towards the hills
    On the yard looking through bills
    I can’t pay these days

    Your teenage bedroom that in your 30s you find yourself back in
    I’m in the desert, no cell reception
    Came here to calm my mind but the heat has me in a frenzy
    I stay wondering
    If my father was watching over me
    Would he be mad the way I play this game
    Is he up there, practically screaming my name
    Telling me to not go this way again

    The sea meets my cold feet at the shore
    I’m almost certain that at this point I shouldn’t be in love anymore
    I hear screaming in the background but it’s coming from my mind
    I hear screaming in the background and it’s something scary, I find
    I take the coarse sand, make a castle, and I start wondering how
    It’s been almost three years and we’re not engaged somehow
    The detriment, I’ve found

    When I get to the city I check my phone, 6 missed calls from you
    No voicemails
    You get to this place where you lose your mind and don’t know what to do
    How come you don’t believe I’ll swallow you
    I’m trained for it
    Been a bad girl my whole life
    I hear your carefully colluded sighs
    They make my brain melt, like four hundred degrees
    Blonde hair blowing in the breeze
    Almost melting underneath

    If my father was watching over me
    All of the hell you brought to me, he would tell me
    If my father was watching over me
    I conclude he must not be
    Running in your direction was all me

    You swallow me
    Because I’m too trusting
    You swallow me
    Because I’m too trusting


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