Poem: How to free oneself

Poem: How to free oneself

You are
My worst nightmare
A walking case of amphetamines
Blocking numbers on my cell phone
Like milk and honey
Break my covenant
No data, out of range
Small grimace, you’re in pain
Find me standing by myself in the rain

drip, rain, drops

Grapefruit at the beach
Watching the waves, the people
Laughing admirably at their loved ones
I suck the sour nature out of this fruit
I climb on top of the stairs
Let my beautiful long blonde hair blow in the wind
My hair down like you like it
I’m a bat so I work the night shift
Ask about my love life, I’ll say how about it
Stolen glances while we speak
Walking case of amphetamines

girl, blonde, portrait

I always think about running in front of the cars
My favorite brand of trunks to do me over
Will I appear on the news?
Will you be haunted by my torn flesh?
An abscess on your leg, give you a cold compress
Put on lip gloss and my tight black dress
You know I’ve always been a mess
But this is nothing like before
I want revenge, and then I want more
You went from handsome to a brutal eyesore
And you’re a bore

moon, star, space

A walking case of amphetamines
I say, damn, you look good in those black jeans
Almost felt your lips when in the doorway I stood in-between
I find sailing serene
You know I won’t go out with a man who fishes
The music gets heavy, my finger twitches
Back spasms
Micro cosmos
Planets attacking other planets
You slip inside a snow globe
I slip into my lush pink bathrobe
Watch the roses outside, they’re white and they grow
Laying on the couch with you is so mellow

sea, waves, groynes

But I have to resist
I already said no
I’m a weak woman and that I know
I’m not proud of myself
Monsters on my bookshelf
Lied to you when I said you’re the best

Walking case of amphetamines
But baby all you really are is a downer
Went swimming with your new girlfriend, I drowned her
Real women don’t apologize

Walking case of amphetamines
I smiled real wide when I drowned her

seascape, ocean waves, ocean Instagram Soundcloud Envelope

Poem: Bridge over troubled waters (lazy days)

For a brief moment sunshine fell upon my face

I let God’s light take me to  a breathtaking place

I soaked in the sun rays like an encouraging haze
I closed my eyes and wished for better days
Hope
Holding onto it
Trembling
Feet dangling over the balcony’s wall that I sit on, fifth floor
Give you affection and give you some more
You’re not an eyesore
What’s mine, baby it’s yours
Only if you deserveĀ 

Bridge over troubled waters
Playing on the record player as I mop the kitchen floors, wet from the leak in the ceiling
I’m thinking, I’m feeling
Can’t even believe it
I see better days coming
I see reuniting with the shore
Surfing and bathing suits, for sure

I remembered how he refused to read my poems
Didn’t realize they were all about him
Not other boys
So I said my goodbyes
Blocked his number, changed mine
For a second the sunshine made me feel divine
But as I walked right through it
I passed it and turned around
It was gone
It had left
And an apathy I almost felt
But I thought never mind, because I won’t neglect
All the others that depend on me
To be strong, to foresee
Each little admirable quality
In them
In me
In the leaves on the highest fiddle-leaf fig trees
That sway in the breeze

I’ve said my goodbyes
Kept them wondering why
All my lazy days amounted to somethin’
She was so young, it happened all of a sudden

All my lazy days amounted to somethin’
Freeways calm me down
Settle down my nerves
Soon, a place that won’t hurt
Soon, a place that won’t hurt

Leave me deep in the dirt
So good that it hurts


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Poem: Burnt ash & perfume

Poem: Burnt ash & perfume

You told me that you wanted to read the poems that I end up not posting to my website
You said those are probably the best ones
I just thought you didn’t like my writing
Move my hair behind my right side
This is it
That’s all I have
There’s really no more of me
I sing too
When I’m blue
You swallow me

mailbox, letter boxes, post mail box

I bought the prettiest pink shower curtain
With ruffles on the bottom
Only a few days before my cat shred it to death
Which I thought was rather tasteful
Now it looks like someone got in a bad fight
I’m in for a fright
You call me, you ask to spend the night
Yeah right

I’m in here
Surrounded by black claws and thin ballerina dolls
That play eery slow classical sounds and spin around
I’m the director of this facility
I scan every body and send them either left or right
I don’t like what I do
It frightens me what is done
After the bodies go to the right
It’s not right

I’m attached to you
But I can easily remove myself
I learned by watching you

This is really all I have for you
It doesn’t get better
So when you are cold, and you put on my sweater

I hope the smell of burnt ash & rose perfume is gone

rose, flower, love

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Poem: And that’s the price of fame


Life Is sweet, or whatever baby
My roses aren’t growing and your car’s not in my parking lot
I’m flowing like hot boiling water– crashing, pour me another cup, slowly in your ceramic mug over your chamomile tea bags
I’m soft like, all the time
Not ready to make you mine
Let the L-theanine take me to space
I like it this way
Me, making the rules
But I don’t want all of the responsibility
So I roll over and I see you
What you making for breakfast, hun
I put on my blue satin robe and walk to the kitchen
See you on the phone there, so I won’t disturb
Pour my arms around you like you’re the softest bedsheets I’m buying at Bloomingdales

Hidden targets
Embedded formats

You love my perfume
Stretch your tanned neck to smell mine
Hey wrap around me, I think you’re pretty divine

Teaching me stick shift with my eyes closed

You notice my salmon pink nails
Make fun of me for being a diva
Buy me the best ashy grey graphite for my sketches
Of wedding dresses and gowns
And torn down queens
For me to take to town
See who’ll buy
(I get mean)

You’ll be smoking cigarettes nearby
I’m so proud to say that you’re my guy
I tell people for no reason at all
But I’m trying to be realistic

rose, white, pink

I’m really trying to keep my love in
Not shower you, like I might
I know you keep telling me it’s alright
I’m filled with so much love, I want to throw it out
Into the grave distance, see if it will run wild
You and I, we both need a break, we need to get out
Take breaks from falling like a bumble bee
Bring me coffee from that coffee shop you hate
You’re adapting to me

And that scares me
That scares me
Camera flashes
Fine finances
Swim deep into the vast open sea
But let’s go, take a trip to Nebraska or Kansas
I’ll wear white cowboy boots, get in your 4 by 4
My crystal cove Coca Cola babe
You can’t hurt me yet
You can’t hurt me yet
You can’t hurt me yet
You can’t hurt me yet

I haven’t lost myself yet
But I’m seeing it in you
No, don’t hurt me yet
Don’t hurt me yet
You can’t hurt me yet
You can’t-
You can’t-
Please don’t hurt me yet

But life is sweet or whatever, baby

But life is sweet or whatever, baby

written April 7, 2021 at approximately 4:14 am

Poem: Whiskey in the sunshine

I always forget

In the cool blue like it’s the ocean


1

You
With your sanitary hand napkins
That you specifically call towelettes
Not an English accent but it’s the best
I always forget what state you’re from
And you tease me for that very gesture

2

You
Still come by
Even though I told you not to anymore
Sunday morning, you show up at my door
And you proceed to infiltrate
Ask me who bought those flowers
(Me)
Ask me who I’m getting ready for
(Myself)
Take a book about romance and passion off my bookshelf
“By mistake”

3

You don’t make mistakes
You’re this rare thing, you were born immaculate
The only thing about you is your greed
Your hunger
You push me down under
The water, when we’re swimming
I love to bask in the cool blue like it’s the ocean
I’m relieved you don’t have blue eyes
Thank god you’re not one of those guys
You tutor me in math and I give you chocolates
That I pocket from the work parties I choose not to attend
I have plans
Baby
I got plans

4

You only wear Vans
Such a boy you are!
I like when you play fight with me
Rummage through my hair
That I combed neatly for our “date”
I like that you participate
We’re like two soldiers at war
That have each others’ back
When I thought you left I had a panic attack
I promised I’d get you back

5

Get you back
You’d have to be mine first
And you know, that sounds like an intolerable curse
Being in love with you would possibly be the worst
But we’d go out all the time
Sip the whiskey I like under the warm sunshine
Spend the day together on Valentine’s
Come away with me
Let my pink nails scratch your head
That’s the only way you can get to bed

6

Now I have you stuck in my head
And you know, that sounds like an intolerable curse
We’re like two soldiers at war
Except I’d be smiling at you too much to shoot
And you know I love to shoot

7

But then there’s you 

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