Lilac Dove

Poem: Like a sad party

May 20, 2021May 20, 2021 distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: Like a sad party

Like a sad party
You kiss me twice
One time per cheek
Our future’s bleak
We made it to Nebraska, now we’re headed for Tennessee
So many things left to see
I’m glad I haven’t passed away
Soft sleep, thank the Lord for this day
All you have to do is pray

In this city of sin
I’m vain and glamorous
With curves, though I’m naturally thin
Drown my ice cube tears in gin
The wallpaper paint ripples inbetween

The staircase where you wrote your mother a letter
Told her you’re on medication, told her that you’re getting better
I’m curled up in your black sweater
A bit under the weather
But happy as a meteor shower in January
When we all go to the docks just to watch
You kiss me twice, I laugh a lot
Grinning ear to ear
You’re the best, my dear
The best of your kind
When you make it and make millions, please don’t leave this world behind
The fame
The fortune
It can’t replace what we have
Nothing’s more important than that
And for some reason that makes me sad

Come with me
Follow me down into the garden
The snowflake grass, the eastern cottonwood tree
The swing set that 8 years ago my father built for me
See we’re as bright as can be
Tell me this

Why do I feel so lonely?
Like a sad party

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Poem: How to free oneself

May 16, 2021May 20, 2021 distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: How to free oneself

You are
My worst nightmare
A walking case of amphetamines
Blocking numbers on my cell phone
Like milk and honey
Break my covenant
No data, out of range
Small grimace, you’re in pain
Find me standing by myself in the rain

Grapefruit at the beach
Watching the waves, the people
Laughing admirably at their loved ones
I suck the sour nature out of this fruit
I climb on top of the stairs
Let my beautiful long blonde hair blow in the wind
My hair down like you like it
I’m a bat so I work the night shift
Ask about my love life, I’ll say how about it
Stolen glances while we speak
Walking case of amphetamines

I always think about running in front of the cars
My favorite brand of trunks to do me over
Will I appear on the news?
Will you be haunted by my torn flesh?
An abscess on your leg, give you a cold compress
Put on lip gloss and my tight black dress
You know I’ve always been a mess
But this is nothing like before
I want revenge, and then I want more
You went from handsome to a brutal eyesore
And you’re a bore

A walking case of amphetamines
I say, damn, you look good in those black jeans
Almost felt your lips when in the doorway I stood in-between
I find sailing serene
You know I won’t go out with a man who fishes
The music gets heavy, my finger twitches
Back spasms
Micro cosmos
Planets attacking other planets
You slip inside a snow globe
I slip into my lush pink bathrobe
Watch the roses outside, they’re white and they grow
Laying on the couch with you is so mellow

But I have to resist
I already said no
I’m a weak woman and that I know
I’m not proud of myself
Monsters on my bookshelf
Lied to you when I said you’re the best

Walking case of amphetamines
But baby all you really are is a downer
Went swimming with your new girlfriend, I drowned her
Real women don’t apologize

Walking case of amphetamines
I smiled real wide when I drowned her

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Poem: Brand new, morning dew

May 15, 2021May 15, 2021 distantcaveLeave a comment

Brand new, morning dew

You
You just accept
That we could’ve been the best
That you and I are worlds apart
I can’t forget the rest
You, wearing blue
I walk away from you
I hate telling you the truth
I’m sober and so full of you

white rose, flower, dew

Me
Here
Waiting a long time for the train
Sipping my cappuccino in the rain
Wishing I could start again
Brand new
Morning dew
Confiscate the worst words from you
That you throw in my direction
The police break down our door for an inspection
They try to take what’s the best of us
They can’t take this away from us
I’m everything you wanted and more
And more, and more, and more
I’m everything you wanted and more

Walking to the market
You in my favorite boy outfit
White t-shirt and black jeans
The sky today feels serene
You’re in a bad mood, you get mean
Sudden hospitality
Animosity towards those who aren’t us
We chain ourselves into a box
False pretense that we’re free

But thank god it’s you and me
Thank god it’s you and me

While the others live tragically, it’s still you and me

shirt, white shirt, monochrome

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Poem: Bridge over troubled waters (lazy days)

May 4, 2021May 4, 2021 distantcaveLeave a comment

For a brief moment sunshine fell upon my face

I let God’s light take me to a breathtaking place

I soaked in the sun rays like an encouraging haze
I closed my eyes and wished for better days
Hope
Holding onto it
Trembling
Feet dangling over the balcony’s wall that I sit on, fifth floor
Give you affection and give you some more
You’re not an eyesore
What’s mine, baby it’s yours
Only if you deserve

Bridge over troubled waters
Playing on the record player as I mop the kitchen floors, wet from the leak in the ceiling
I’m thinking, I’m feeling
Can’t even believe it
I see better days coming
I see reuniting with the shore
Surfing and bathing suits, for sure

I remembered how he refused to read my poems
Didn’t realize they were all about him
Not other boys
So I said my goodbyes
Blocked his number, changed mine
For a second the sunshine made me feel divine
But as I walked right through it
I passed it and turned around
It was gone
It had left
And an apathy I almost felt
But I thought never mind, because I won’t neglect
All the others that depend on me
To be strong, to foresee
Each little admirable quality
In them
In me
In the leaves on the highest fiddle-leaf fig trees
That sway in the breeze

I’ve said my goodbyes
Kept them wondering why
All my lazy days amounted to somethin’
She was so young, it happened all of a sudden

All my lazy days amounted to somethin’
Freeways calm me down
Settle down my nerves
Soon, a place that won’t hurt
Soon, a place that won’t hurt

Leave me deep in the dirt
So good that it hurts

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Poem: Burnt ash & perfume

May 2, 2021May 4, 2021 distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: Burnt ash & perfume

You told me that you wanted to read the poems that I end up not posting to my website
You said those are probably the best ones
I just thought you didn’t like my writing
Move my hair behind my right side
This is it
That’s all I have
There’s really no more of me
I sing too
When I’m blue
You swallow me

mailbox, letter boxes, post mail box

I bought the prettiest pink shower curtain
With ruffles on the bottom
Only a few days before my cat shred it to death
Which I thought was rather tasteful
Now it looks like someone got in a bad fight
I’m in for a fright
You call me, you ask to spend the night
Yeah right

I’m in here
Surrounded by black claws and thin ballerina dolls
That play eery slow classical sounds and spin around
I’m the director of this facility
I scan every body and send them either left or right
I don’t like what I do
It frightens me what is done
After the bodies go to the right
It’s not right

I’m attached to you
But I can easily remove myself
I learned by watching you

This is really all I have for you
It doesn’t get better
So when you are cold, and you put on my sweater

I hope the smell of burnt ash & rose perfume is gone

rose, flower, love

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