Nothing beautiful ever lasts

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Nothing beautiful ever lasts

(venom like frostbite on a Sunday morning)


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My gal pal and I were feeling the hot July mist as we dipped our carefully painted toes in the pool
Swaying our arms to make waves like hurricanes
Flowers blossomed
My best friend
She jokingly said that I’m holding out on love
Not letting anybody too close
Painful reminders of past ghosts
Motorcycles, some of those
I said I’m living like I’m practically comatose
I wake up, open the shades, want to close them back again and fall into a slumber so deep my manager starts calling since I didn’t show up for work
It’s just too much work
And I’m impatient
Stagnant in some ways
Although I am crisp, I say that in a daze
The sky turns ablaze
Hot fire surrounds us

She’s crying and her mascara drips down her rose cheeks
I don’t know what I did
But it’s always me doing something
I remind people of their painful pasts
I refresh their memory that nothing beautiful ever lasts
I put one in mind of the fact that every little time you think something’s good, something’s right
It never is
Your worries become his
And that’s hard to dismiss

I’m not evil
I think I’m not
But the last guy said he hopes my body will rot
I thought it was kind of funny, which sent him in shock
I told him again and again that I’m not quite his flavor
The poor boy, I was doing him a favor!
The January wind came to whisk me away
He locked the door, practically begged me to stay
But it wasn’t hard to walk away (search for new prey)
I’m like a ship that’s too in love with the waves
Goes the wrong way for days
Doesn’t realize there’s a dock waiting, that you don’t have to escape
My vision turns gold and then grey
Nothing beautiful stays
So I celebrate the decay
Am I better off that way?

Morning dew is my favourite
When roses blossom, I’m in heaven
I remember being young, timid, and seven
Pushing my fingers directly into thorns
Gave me a rush that went straight to my bones
I was so little! A young mind so awake
Until I started bleeding and I’d start to shake
Some people are poison, like the tinctures I make
I’m fake I’m fake I’m fake

For God’s sake (my sake and yours) 
Pass me a cider
White roses when you greet me
Try to make me smile
Soon we’ll be dead and no longer will you see me

So I celebrate the decay
Am I better off that way?



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    Poem: Love you in fragments

    Love you in fragments – love you in fragments – love you in fragments – love you 




    Author

    The author of the poetry on Lilac Dove is a young girl living on the outskirts of Los Angeles, twirling her hair with her finger and eating sour candy, as she writes about the strangeness of her life.

    Softness and silk

    I love you in fragments
    Like pieces of a puzzle

    That no matter how hard I try to make out the shapes just right

    I’m always wrong

    I find myself thinking about things like
    Do you paint pictures of me in your mind before going to sleep
    Before resting your beautiful tan head on the mattress because you don’t like pillows
    You joke they’re too soft
    But I’m soft
    Fragile in places I’ll never admit out loud
    Paradise found
    You call, and I’m the happiest girl in the United States of America

    To dream is to escape reality

    But you just ask me questions
    Like I’m an encyclopedia of the world
    And while I’m charmed that you value my intellect so
    It still feels shallow
    A jellyfish catching me after I lose out on a killer wave
    When I’m with you, I always tend to misbehave
    Reconsider my decisions later
    Wonder if I could have done better
    But you encapsulate me every time
    Put me in a bubble with no oxygen, so with every one of my screams I’m losing out on life
    Is that what this is like?

    There were times when I felt divine

    Reconsider my decisions later
    Wonder if I could have done better
    Thankful that I still have your sweater
    Accept the parts of you no-one else sees
    Parts of you that are rust- to me, are shiny
    Pick up the phone every time you call

    Which as of late, has been no time at all

    Leave me a voicemail
    Tell me you love me
    Leave me a voicemail
    Don’t let go when you hug me
    Reconsider my decisions later
    Wonder if I could have done better

    Go to bed every night in your sweater


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    Poem: Fading, gracefully

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    Poem: Fading, gracefully

    My passion is in my work but sometimes it fades
    I dress up, I’m ready, to have the most perfect of days
    Something charcoal and black gets in my way

    A peaceful slumber, I’ve rested
    Breakfast is toast
    Licking jam off my fingers
    The scent of your cologne
    I have nothing to do today but write, write, write

    Born an academic
    I found my love on the field
    Pointing straight at my target– focus and press
    Down on the trigger, life’s a sweet mess
    Baby, we eventually do our best

    He said my name sounds expensive

    He said my name sounds expensive
    Like a luxurious bath
    Candles and Ella Fitzgerald in the back
    I’m curious about my own tastes
    I’m establishing a new state of rebuilding an identity that I lost when we broke off the engagement
    Led to a crisp stalemate
    And what it necessitates
    Is a return to sensuality and glamour
    Floral dresses because flowers are part of my soul even though I don’t believe in humanistic psychology
    However,
    I do like what the existentialists posed
    I’m no longer scared to see of what dust I am composed
    I stay asleep on such a heavy dose

    The rain falls like sugar into a small child’s fragile hands

    You shouldn’t be scared of me either
    When it rains I’m like in the garden of Eden
    You and me, we’re on the same page, something is even
    But when I’m alone
    I rip out the pages, shivering down to my bones
    I let the call ring then hang up the telephone
    No service in my castle, but I’m in my zone
    Wait for the beat to drop
    Babe you’re acting so nonchalant
    It’s okay, it’s enough, it’s time to stop
    The beautiful rainfall begins to drop
    It shimmers
    Across my spine

    Stick out my tongue because rain tastes heavy
    Move my arms up like I’m soaking already
    Stick out my tongue because rain tastes heavy
    Move my arms down like I’m dead already

    Move my arms down like I’m dead already

    Nothing like Chicago rainfall


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    Poem: Soleil et marguerites

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    Poem: Sunshine and daisies (soleil et marguerites)

    Alone in the sunshine with the daisies
    My ash blonde hair turned green from the chlorine
    I step in and out of the pool, I do laps, I take naps
    I find you resting on your stomach with your back to the sun
    Back to the sun
    I thought I was alone here
    But it’s something funny
    Every time I think I’m alone I see you
    You come here, around town, when I’m blue
    You don’t call ahead of time
    The summer air is just sublime
    Dripping rose on the vine

    Alone in the sunshine with the daisies
    They’re my only friends, everybody thinks I’m crazy
    But I’ve got you, baby

    I’d love to stay here with you
    But there are things that I cannot do
    It took some gettin’ used to
    And one of them
    Is to belong to you
    One of them
    Is to belong to you

    I think you know what I know
    I think you know what I know

    I think I’ve got it right this time
    I think I’ve got it right this time

    You and I can’t stay together
    You and I can’t stay together

    No matter the weather
    No matter the shadows
    I think you know what I know
    I think you know what I know

    You and I can’t be together
    You and I can’t be together

    God’s judgement is harshest when it rains


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    XOXO.

    Poem: Soft like thunder

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    Poem: Soft like thunder

    His parents were well-to-do
    He grew up on sailboats and river rafts
    When he got older they turned into yachts
    The sea was like venom to him, it pulled me in
    Like the sweetest smelling flower at the end of the block
    The rose
    Morose
    Lying-on bleached towels warm from the dryer
    Didn’t put out your cigarette and started a fire
    I saw you make mistakes, found out you were a liar
    And I didn’t do nothing ’bout it
    I did nothing at all
    You stand in front of me– so handsome, so tall
    I feel so small 

    Pretty
    Ash blonde hair
    Pink ribbon hanging from my ponytail
    You said the waves are good so we’ll go out and sail
    Meet you at the car, I’ll go check the mail
    Bounty hunter
    Soft like thunder
    Bills, bills, bills, bills, bills
    I got the vaccine and secretly hoped I’d fall ill
    Would you take care of me?
    Bring me chamomile tea?
    Fresh white roses for the center of the room

    Centerpiece
    Sharp like teeth
    Glass shards in the basement

    Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea
    Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea
    Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea

    A hummingbird crawls on my windowsill
    Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & fleeting
    Like when we scored some angel & fell down from the ceiling
    An upside-down world for the criminally insane
    Blue hydrangeas
    Marbles
    Stone cold carpet, free of debris
    You’re ironing your pants
    I come up, give you a little dance
    But this isn’t romance
    Nor a reprisal
    The last day
    Wonder if you’ll even remember my last name
    Before I reach fame
    (You never asked)
    Heart attack
    Trade you gold for some hard-hitting smack

    Birthday cake
    Little girl
    Swooning with the daffodils
    Is it crazy to be a cranberry in this awful, wet wilderness
    Does anything I say make any sense?
    I meant to be who I was, in the past tense

    Mercedes benz, honey no you didn’t
    Been dreaming for this day for months, for years
    You say get in, I insist on it
    I glow like a candle
    I’m sharp like shears
    Cruel and uncoordinated, overdosing on fears
    If that’s your dream life
    My gentle self as your wife
    The tide rushes in
    The tide rushes back

    Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & feeling
    Hold you with my all, hear your cold heart beating
    These are my plans this evening

    An upside-down world for the criminally insane
    I bet you one hundred you don’t know my last name
    Stay quiet, breathe slow, this shouldn’t be much pain
    Smooth
    Quick
    Needles, veins
    Taking advantage

    Taking advantage or being taken advantage of
    Taking advantage or being taken advantage of

    If that’s your dream life, my gentle self as your wife

    Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & fleeting
    Alone on the floor, that’s where I fall apart this evening
    Don’t wake me, I’m sleeping
    Don’t wake me, I’m –