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Poem: Love you in fragments

Love you in fragments – love you in fragments – love you in fragments – love you 




Author

The author of the poetry on Lilac Dove is a young girl living on the outskirts of Los Angeles, twirling her hair with her finger and eating sour candy, as she writes about the strangeness of her life.

Softness and silk

I love you in fragments
Like pieces of a puzzle

That no matter how hard I try to make out the shapes just right

I’m always wrong

I find myself thinking about things like
Do you paint pictures of me in your mind before going to sleep
Before resting your beautiful tan head on the mattress because you don’t like pillows
You joke they’re too soft
But I’m soft
Fragile in places I’ll never admit out loud
Paradise found
You call, and I’m the happiest girl in the United States of America

To dream is to escape reality

But you just ask me questions
Like I’m an encyclopedia of the world
And while I’m charmed that you value my intellect so
It still feels shallow
A jellyfish catching me after I lose out on a killer wave
When I’m with you, I always tend to misbehave
Reconsider my decisions later
Wonder if I could have done better
But you encapsulate me every time
Put me in a bubble with no oxygen, so with every one of my screams I’m losing out on life
Is that what this is like?

There were times when I felt divine

Reconsider my decisions later
Wonder if I could have done better
Thankful that I still have your sweater
Accept the parts of you no-one else sees
Parts of you that are rust- to me, are shiny
Pick up the phone every time you call

Which as of late, has been no time at all

Leave me a voicemail
Tell me you love me
Leave me a voicemail
Don’t let go when you hug me
Reconsider my decisions later
Wonder if I could have done better

Go to bed every night in your sweater


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Poem: Fading, gracefully

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Poem: Fading, gracefully

My passion is in my work but sometimes it fades
I dress up, I’m ready, to have the most perfect of days
Something charcoal and black gets in my way

A peaceful slumber, I’ve rested
Breakfast is toast
Licking jam off my fingers
The scent of your cologne
I have nothing to do today but write, write, write

Born an academic
I found my love on the field
Pointing straight at my target– focus and press
Down on the trigger, life’s a sweet mess
Baby, we eventually do our best

He said my name sounds expensive

He said my name sounds expensive
Like a luxurious bath
Candles and Ella Fitzgerald in the back
I’m curious about my own tastes
I’m establishing a new state of rebuilding an identity that I lost when we broke off the engagement
Led to a crisp stalemate
And what it necessitates
Is a return to sensuality and glamour
Floral dresses because flowers are part of my soul even though I don’t believe in humanistic psychology
However,
I do like what the existentialists posed
I’m no longer scared to see of what dust I am composed
I stay asleep on such a heavy dose

The rain falls like sugar into a small child’s fragile hands

You shouldn’t be scared of me either
When it rains I’m like in the garden of Eden
You and me, we’re on the same page, something is even
But when I’m alone
I rip out the pages, shivering down to my bones
I let the call ring then hang up the telephone
No service in my castle, but I’m in my zone
Wait for the beat to drop
Babe you’re acting so nonchalant
It’s okay, it’s enough, it’s time to stop
The beautiful rainfall begins to drop
It shimmers
Across my spine

Stick out my tongue because rain tastes heavy
Move my arms up like I’m soaking already
Stick out my tongue because rain tastes heavy
Move my arms down like I’m dead already

Move my arms down like I’m dead already

Nothing like Chicago rainfall


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Poem: Soleil et marguerites

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Poem: Sunshine and daisies (soleil et marguerites)

Alone in the sunshine with the daisies
My ash blonde hair turned green from the chlorine
I step in and out of the pool, I do laps, I take naps
I find you resting on your stomach with your back to the sun
Back to the sun
I thought I was alone here
But it’s something funny
Every time I think I’m alone I see you
You come here, around town, when I’m blue
You don’t call ahead of time
The summer air is just sublime
Dripping rose on the vine

Alone in the sunshine with the daisies
They’re my only friends, everybody thinks I’m crazy
But I’ve got you, baby

I’d love to stay here with you
But there are things that I cannot do
It took some gettin’ used to
And one of them
Is to belong to you
One of them
Is to belong to you

I think you know what I know
I think you know what I know

I think I’ve got it right this time
I think I’ve got it right this time

You and I can’t stay together
You and I can’t stay together

No matter the weather
No matter the shadows
I think you know what I know
I think you know what I know

You and I can’t be together
You and I can’t be together

God’s judgement is harshest when it rains


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XOXO.

Poem: Soft like thunder

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Poem: Soft like thunder

His parents were well-to-do
He grew up on sailboats and river rafts
When he got older they turned into yachts
The sea was like venom to him, it pulled me in
Like the sweetest smelling flower at the end of the block
The rose
Morose
Lying-on bleached towels warm from the dryer
Didn’t put out your cigarette and started a fire
I saw you make mistakes, found out you were a liar
And I didn’t do nothing ’bout it
I did nothing at all
You stand in front of me– so handsome, so tall
I feel so small 

Pretty
Ash blonde hair
Pink ribbon hanging from my ponytail
You said the waves are good so we’ll go out and sail
Meet you at the car, I’ll go check the mail
Bounty hunter
Soft like thunder
Bills, bills, bills, bills, bills
I got the vaccine and secretly hoped I’d fall ill
Would you take care of me?
Bring me chamomile tea?
Fresh white roses for the center of the room

Centerpiece
Sharp like teeth
Glass shards in the basement

Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea
Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea
Learn to swim so you don’t drown in the sea

A hummingbird crawls on my windowsill
Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & fleeting
Like when we scored some angel & fell down from the ceiling
An upside-down world for the criminally insane
Blue hydrangeas
Marbles
Stone cold carpet, free of debris
You’re ironing your pants
I come up, give you a little dance
But this isn’t romance
Nor a reprisal
The last day
Wonder if you’ll even remember my last name
Before I reach fame
(You never asked)
Heart attack
Trade you gold for some hard-hitting smack

Birthday cake
Little girl
Swooning with the daffodils
Is it crazy to be a cranberry in this awful, wet wilderness
Does anything I say make any sense?
I meant to be who I was, in the past tense

Mercedes benz, honey no you didn’t
Been dreaming for this day for months, for years
You say get in, I insist on it
I glow like a candle
I’m sharp like shears
Cruel and uncoordinated, overdosing on fears
If that’s your dream life
My gentle self as your wife
The tide rushes in
The tide rushes back

Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & feeling
Hold you with my all, hear your cold heart beating
These are my plans this evening

An upside-down world for the criminally insane
I bet you one hundred you don’t know my last name
Stay quiet, breathe slow, this shouldn’t be much pain
Smooth
Quick
Needles, veins
Taking advantage

Taking advantage or being taken advantage of
Taking advantage or being taken advantage of

If that’s your dream life, my gentle self as your wife

Little feet, tiny movements, intricate & fleeting
Alone on the floor, that’s where I fall apart this evening
Don’t wake me, I’m sleeping
Don’t wake me, I’m –

Poem: En juillet, la pluie tant attendue est enfin tombée.

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Poem: En juillet, la pluie tant attendue est enfin tombée.

Your 4 by 4
My innocence
Sweet hot suspense
90 miles per hour on the curves up the mountain, to show me what you know about being intense
Rain comes down and I’m listening to the Bends

I want to keep tabs on you even though it’s the wrong thing to do
Like deja vu
I’m rose, you’re blue
Falling off the skyscrapers ’cause I’m having fun
Nobody says I’m beautiful
I know it’s not that pitiful
And I’m so damn ill, it hurts

I found rejection in the cusp of a rose
I rolled my eyes and thought, of course

Congeniality isn’t my default
I had in mind all of these things to say
But I’m inclined to say I no longer get my way
For the devil’s child, it’s gotten late
I found,
You down
On your darkest day
I had in mind all of these things to say
I wanted to tell you I felt you fading away
And that wasn’t okay

I have a feeling you need to find yourself again
But I’m scared to leave because I know you need some help

I have a feeling you need to find yourself again
But I’m scared to leave because I know you need some help
I know you need some help

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