Poem: Baby-blue automobiles

Poem: Baby-blue automobiles (yeah, you)

I ask you, “then how come we aren’t together?”
While you put your cigarette out in the pocket of your sweater,
And I think you’re confused
No way out, know I’ll lose
It’s not like I’ve given every last chance straight to you

Vintage baby-blue automobiles
Crystals, fragrance
Modern, ancient
Total & never-ending disengagement
Yeah, I meant it
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have said it
Vintage baby-blue automobiles
Hot like you’re burning, red hot wheels
I’ve already memorized how me leaving is supposed to feel

Sliding down playgrounds with a grey balloon in my hand
Wearing my Chicago Cubs baseball cap because I’m their biggest fan
You make fun of how pale I am, how I never seem to tan
It’s like this
It’s like this
Turn towards me
Turn towards me
One soft lock of hair, boy with a nosebleed

It’s like this
It’s like this
Just sit still
(Just stay still)
Mornings sitting on the hood of your car
Talking about how in our lives we haven’t made it very far
Vintage baby-blue automobiles
Prove to me that this time your love will be real
Promise and don’t lie that like summer, I will feel
Turn towards me
Turn towards me

It’s like this
It’s like this
Just sit still
(Fucking stay still!)
Mornings sitting on the trunk of your car
Talking about how, baby, you’re gonna be a star
Vintage baby-blue automobiles
Swear to me that this time your love will be real
Promise and don’t lie that the ocean will turn me surreal
Make me feel hopeless

You’re perfect
So worth it
You’re perfect
So worth it

You hurt me
On purpose
You’re perfect
So worth it

On purpose
So worthless

You’re perfect
So worthless
Baby-blue automobiles

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Spotify playlists for your enjoyment: https://open.spotify.com/user/silvvv35?si=9b399ba528a54abf

Poem: White mustang, no cigarettes

Poem: White mustang, no cigarettes

Out of all my vices
Got no more cigarettes
Marriage is a stretch, it’s far-fetched
A violent vehemence
That I got caught in because he said I was one of his regrets
One of his regrets
I’d protest to that
Absence of evidence

I’m a humble girl, I’m real cool
Catch me doing laps in the swimming pool
I objectify God; in all his heavens I rule
I’m not what you’re used to
But as strange as this fancy, rugged life turns out to be
I have a strange sense I won’t make it past thirty
What’s not to be is not meant to be
Coca Cola and vanilla ice cream in the evenings
Different rituals for different seasons
A stray cat, got loose, we’ll make it even
I lay back, underneath the sun, I’m gleaming
Strangers make strange choices for strange reasons

♥ Strangers make strange choices for strange reasons ♥

♥ I’m bored to death and my glamour is fading ♥

I’m bored to death and my glamour is fading
With every cheap trick you try
I glance out the window, months just fly by
My ego’s even on the same page, telling me to get rid of you
It’s like taking out the trash
One long-winded heroin crash
I pour myself a warm bath
Collapse
Small movements
Trembling
Hands around my knees, hold them close to me
Like when I held your hand, and my heart felt safe
You were looking real nice for what was a blind date
Cigarettes into ash, swear I thought it was fate
The way your fingers interlaced my wire front gate
Never over five minutes late

I’m made of caramel syrup & mocha drizzle
You taste it, you want more, I only give you a little
I’m fairly humble in my opinion
You’ll be home any minute
And I can’t wait until you get home and see my stuff is all packed
I’m going back to the city where we stayed on track
Listening to White Mustang on replay, back to back
Lana’s the only one to bring me joy
I know you’re starting to sweat, you’re feeling paranoid
It previously hadn’t occured to you that I’m someone you enjoy
The glisten on the shine of my watermelon nail polish
The sparkles of pink and white of my carefully creased eye shadow
I’m not meant for this household
Realistically it should only occupy one man
Quite frankly I don’t care if you do or you do not understand
We’re crumbling like an avalanche
I’m coughing up sand

I stayed in your company because God, I love snow
I love champagne and wearing conservative dresses to the company engagements you’d invite me too
’till one day I caught your gaze, you looked oh so blue
Like the fakeness of it all finally got through to you
You realized you weren’t capable of loving a doll like me
Little bumble bee
Awfully cruel, brutal honesty

Out of all my vices
Got no cigarettes
I remember when you said I would become your favourite regret
You used to say I was heaven-sent
You remember that agreement we made behind a peach sunset?
First one to leave gets custody

I’m packed
I’m through
I give you a note
“First one to leave gets custody”


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