West Dale Palms boulevard Clover avenue I go to the grocery store And I run right into you Ask me how things are back home Do your days ever feel terribly long I say, I have to go Think I know the place where I belong
Hollywood, Los Angeles at dusk Her perfume smelled like camellias that bloom in November They look just like roses, so naturally I’m obsessed Swing the door open to a settled fire, Capture in my hands: tiny, soft embers Collapsing into moonlight, but Cradled like dust I’ll be strong for both of us If I must
Love poem: Grocery store [continued]
You have to feed your nostalgia sometimes It’s really the only way that you’ll survive It’s how you keep the dreams alive It’s the only way they’ll see you on the other side
West Dale Palms boulevard Clover avenue When I go to the grocery store I always look for you
Fresh lint from the dryer My niece is crying Because a boy pulled a baby-pink ribbon straight from her hair & I told her, don’t worry He didn’t take anything real from you The most genuine things are More intangible than they seem
So now I’m at the laundromat Watching my lavender and velvet blanket dry Something too delicate of material to end up in this white, vacant space But I have already been charged For a thousand liar’s crimes Not my own, but it’s easy to take the blame When the minds of the reckoners aren’t something you can change
Love poem: Passenger door // grocery store [continued]
I used to dream about being held By someone so powerful That they could both start and end bar fights for me Think I was in my early twenties So my wildest visions Would make little sense to someone truly thinking of settling down You have to act your age In this kind of upscale town
Then you handed me a receipt Me, counting your naturally full lashes How strong they must be and if only Mine were too To resist my pulling them out When I both do and don’t have free time Which my mother would say is a crime But laugh with me thereafter Because true love doesn’t see you in black or in white Genuine love both does and does not fight
Love poem: Passenger door // grocery store [continued]
Your voice was alarming Because it began softening Every tense fibre locked and chained to itself within my body I warm my shivering shoulders with how hotly My breath is on evenings Like this one, in which I could not care less about who or what surrounds you and me They are just bodies And you are warm nectar That only the most tender of creatures know how to find
I showed up on time Your shift is almost over But I am too shy So, I take my bags Spill a few things, say it’s alright “You don’t have to help me” (Oh man, but I want you to) Pretend I have plans when you ask what I’m doing (I am such a poor liar, the truth practically stained on my teeth)
I want you to go sit in the driver’s seat Open the passenger door for me
You know up and down what real love is My god, have you felt and known that before You see it traveling through your own veins Sparkling bright on the kitchen floor
I decided to Write myself a love letter Because who really knows Me any better?
What do I keep hurting myself for Nobody’s looking in the mirror but you I keep on dreaming what life has in store But spin in circles until my knees fade to a distant blue It’s so chaotic living like this Never licking icing off the birthday cake Consumes me like frostbite by the lake The peak of my landscape of moth wings And when I take the time to Unpack my belongings I suddenly realize My god, I’m in love with everything So why do I Keep feeling like this Like I’m the only one Like I’m the only one Like I’m the only one
Love poem: Moth wings (continued)
We could see the winter snow again Buy the coat with the elegant faux fur You don’t even have to make amends Cos even God knows talk of sin is absurd We could see Lake Michigan freeze to death While what’s underneath simply carries on One day I’ll get out of bed Just in time to watch the morning’s sun
You know back and forth what real love is My god, you feel it now, just like you did before Watch it coarse through your own stunning veins Opulence and nervousness on the closet floor
Love poem: Moth wings (continued)
You’re too young to be afraid Too old to hesitate We can swim right in the lake ‘Till your body collapses on the seashore
So I decided to write a love letter to myself Not because men let me down But because the sound waves miss my eardrums I go days without hearing a sound But god, I love the tone of my own voice Think it’s so funny that I picked up a southern accent Next time someone says my name I’ll remember I’ve been heaven-sent
Love poem: Moth wings (continued)
I can swim right in the lake In the city of my dreams ‘Till my pale body collapses on the seashore Flooded with hope like the legs of a millipede I am warm and fragile and cold My hair tends to burn if it’s by the fire But my New Year’s resolution will still be to be ‘comfy cozy’ If I said I was suicidal, I’d have to be a liar
I can swim right in the lake Lick frostbite like it’s ice cream Knowing I’d have to seek urgent care Hold myself real tight, several times during the day Feel the humidity of the shower when I’m bare I’m a mother to my children and myself Lover of trucks, flowers, rose petals, and guns I can stick around for a while
Just because I think it’d be fun.
Like I’m the only one Like I’m the only one Like I’m the only one With moth wings
Anything you say Anything you say I promise you can have it all I promise you can have it all I’m tiny, I’m so small I’m amber coated in blue I’m feeling heavy because the tar is so thick I feel like I’m running out of whatever makes me tick I’m coughing up my lungs because you make me so sick I don’t want to be in love, I don’t want to feel like this I want you in my arms, you’re all I think of I saved all the skies for you to make you feel loved How many more winters do I have to be ashamed of
You’re stuck in my brain and the clips rewind The pieces and fragments of my crispy and broken, fragile spine It’s all coming together, you were lying the whole time But was giving all of myself to you a complete waste of time?
You’re stuck in my head, you’re daylight and amethyst I don’t want to be in love, I don’t want to feel like this What I imagined was you and me immersed in honeycomb bliss I swear to God I thought you were the reason I exist
When you would drive so fast You scared the life out of me, but I wanted it to last I never felt safe, and I kind of loved that In a way it comforted me, but that was in the past
When everything I would write would sound like a love song When I knew you’d never call, but I’d stay up all night long I wasn’t even waiting 4 a.m. and I’m pacing Trying to be patient You were who I placed faith in Nothing was changing
I come real close to giving up You’re all I think of I bathe and soak in love You’re all I think of
I bathe in and bleed out love You’re all I think of
