Love poem: Ballerina recital love

Love poem: Ballerina recital love

You’re so small, you fit into my arms
Fall asleep to the sound of my voice
Trembling, quiet, thunder, softness
Everything I am proud of, not so much on display
Still shy
After all these years,
Still so shy
Still so shy

You’re like a riverbed I watch beneath the moonlight, the stars
The craters on other planets that I know you’ve traveled to
Brown eyes, those deep brown eyes, I could
Find myself in lilac fevers forever and all the time
We talk about the Midwest and how it’s the best
And you stay true to your word, yes you surely do
Call me late at night even though you know I’m busy tending to my garden, having family time, drinking too much wine,
Leave a voicemail every single time
Yeah, I’m in love with that
Because I wake up in the morning, early, not-yet-bright morning, and I call you right back
A thousand times over, crimson clover all over
Fall asleep in my bed to my voice
The stillness
Lilac fever dreams
Manhattan Chamber Orchestra, all for you, always for you
I’ll play the flute
I don’t even know what to do
I don’t even know what to do

Love poem: Ballerina recital love (continued)

You’re no good at planning things, so I take over
Would you rather leave on a Tuesday or a Wednesday?
For me, it’s always a Wednesday
Favourite day of the week
It speaks to me like something holy, something so enchanting I can’t really tie it up in little knots like your little socks, like your fragrant apricots
A wedding we didn’t attend because we overslept
Laughed the entire weekend, recreated what we thought it’d be like
I was so mad, oh, so mad
There’s nothing I’d rather do than go to a wedding
There’s nothing I’d rather do than go to a wedding
But none of my friends are getting married
Our first fight
We laughed at intervals

I have this deep pink nail colour painted on, with ‘Cat’s Eye’ print
Charming but not revolting like absinthe
The prettiest bottle that I saw in the store, had no idea what the stuff was, didn’t buy it
Am so careful with the few dollars I possess
Then you had me, like candy, pass me a water bottle because I am thirsty in this exhausting heat
It’s melting me
Driving me to insanity
You drive all the time towards me, my direction, my deflection, away from me because I want the spotlight on you
Shining, glimmering, frosting, ice cream birthday cake
Your birthday is in March, and I am
Planning
Already
For how we’re going to celebrate
Ice cream birthday cake
DIY bday present because after all of this give-and-take
I want nothing more than to give you the best day you’ve ever had
Ill-fated farmer’s tan
Fresh farmer’s market apricots
Yours if you’ll be mine
Too late, too late

Love poem: Ballerina recital love (continued)

You asked me out on a Tuesday
I don’t like Tuesdays
I like them now
I’ll celebrate every Tuesday now
One week
Two weeks
Three weeks
Four
Monthiversary, the kind no man ever wanted to celebrate with me
Except one
But he
Ran
Farther than I could ever reach
Was so distant when specifically next to me
I couldn’t figure out what he was saying, so I paid really close attention in my sleep
I thank whoever’s watching me that the relationship escaped from underneath me

Found my favourite album that year
One of them, at least, but certainly my favourite song of the band’s
That’s the best part of that
You buying me different shades of brown lip gloss
Cookie butter, cappuccino, espresso for sure, on a Tuesday, every Tuesday
I’ll be there, listening to your voicemails
Calling you back in the morning
Crimson clover all over, what are we going to do in December

Love poem: Ballerina recital love (continued)

When it’s going to be so cold
It’ll rain
It’ll snow
I’m counting not the weeks down, but the days
To hold you
So close
Make sure you know that you’re mine
I’m yours
On purpose and by accident
Total ballerina recital, no tragedy

Involved in the way your ship collided with my stupid little boat

Love poem: Moth wings

Love poem: Moth wings

You know up and down what real love is
My god, have you felt and known that before
You see it traveling through your own veins
Sparkling bright on the kitchen floor

I decided to
Write myself a love letter
Because who really knows
Me any better?

What do I keep hurting myself for
Nobody’s looking in the mirror but you
I keep on dreaming what life has in store
But spin in circles until my knees fade to a distant blue
It’s so chaotic living like this
Never licking icing off the birthday cake
Consumes me like frostbite by the lake
The peak of my landscape of moth wings
And when I take the time to
Unpack my belongings
I suddenly realize
My god, I’m in love with everything
So why do I
Keep feeling like this
Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one

Love poem: Moth wings (continued)

We could see the winter snow again
Buy the coat with the elegant faux fur
You don’t even have to make amends
Cos even God knows talk of sin is absurd
We could see Lake Michigan freeze to death
While what’s underneath simply carries on
One day I’ll get out of bed
Just in time to watch the morning’s sun

You know back and forth what real love is
My god, you feel it now, just like you did before
Watch it coarse through your own stunning veins
Opulence and nervousness on the closet floor

Love poem: Moth wings (continued)

You’re too young to be afraid
Too old to hesitate
We can swim right in the lake
‘Till your body collapses on the seashore

So I decided to write a love letter to myself
Not because men let me down
But because the sound waves miss my eardrums
I go days without hearing a sound
But god, I love the tone of my own voice
Think it’s so funny that I picked up a southern accent
Next time someone says my name
I’ll remember I’ve been heaven-sent

Love poem: Moth wings (continued)

I can swim right in the lake
In the city of my dreams
‘Till my pale body collapses on the seashore
Flooded with hope like the legs of a millipede
I am warm and fragile and cold
My hair tends to burn if it’s by the fire
But my New Year’s resolution will still be to be ‘comfy cozy’
If I said I was suicidal, I’d have to be a liar

I can swim right in the lake
Lick frostbite like it’s ice cream
Knowing I’d have to seek urgent care
Hold myself real tight, several times during the day
Feel the humidity of the shower when I’m bare
I’m a mother to my children and myself
Lover of trucks, flowers, rose petals, and guns
I can stick around for a while

Just because I think it’d be fun.

Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one
With moth wings

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