Poem: 1933-1945

 
 

We would like you to enlist in our services.

For some people, war is war. For others – dear mother. Russian Proverb 

 

The painting of slogans on buildings
Young people were attracted to a group that offered adventure
Distinctive military appearances
Who achieved more?
We were all keeping score

The unquestioned leader
Officers and politicians
Ugh, so nationalistic
My brother, he had
A stern political career
Damaged
In the postwar years
He blamed his associates

Secret meetings
Apocalyptic trains
That would combust all of a sudden
Confidential minutes of a downhill argument
When you’re Russian they think you’re very clever
All a hoax
From the flood, a new world will be born
Signs and wonders are seen
From the unruly flood
Come Holy Spirit creator
Salvation is to befall

 

Ukraine

Liberation of humanity
Whine about wretched nest eggs
His lack of success
No chance of survival
Less-than-mediocre poet
He died just like that

Nobody cried about it

 


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Poem: Your friend and other things

Being
So
Far,
It hurts
I don’t know if I fell in love with you, or your black shirt
Simple
I like plain
I want to watch the recording of us dancing again
The one I made up in my brain
In two separate plains
You’re the cutest when you look me directly in my eyes
The only guy that (maybe) to me never lies
Someone who reads, but wouldn’t call himself wise
Tolerant
Patient
Kind

It’s
Never
Going
To
Happen
No doubt, I’m sure
My new coat is black faux fur
You’d hate it!
I look like Lucille Bluth
It’s straight comedy
Come to bed with me
I see you as shy, but maybe I’m wrong
Maybe you’re secretly an outspoken guy
With me I like how you talk
Except the morning when you drove me home
So bitter around sunlight!
You just
Give me goosebumps
My frail body is covered
I’ll be your friend and your lover

(cont)… 

 

I’ll come over
Ask you for a drink
Then, another
Try not to make it overwhelmingly obvious
I’m not much of an actress
I tend to spill
Picture us in a field— me with a polaroid camera, you with a daffodil
We’d be happy in that still

Around you I don’t get emotional
Your presence just calms me down
Think that’s why I’m so eager to share with you the ground
Cover your walls to amplify surround sound
I’m a girl, not a musician
Don’t know why you do the things you do
Smoke a few in your kitchen
I stay quiet, you talk, I do nothing but listen
Any day of the week
Happy

You told me you read these
Let’s see
Are you lying to me?

Me with a polaroid camera
You with a daffodil
I created that in my mind, I’m still waiting until…

 

I’m a girl, not a musician
Don’t know why you do the things you do
Smoke a few in your kitchen
Nothing else I’d rather do


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Poem: Cold coffee, prescription

Lilac Dove 

 

 

My lithium level is too high
I downloaded an app that helps me see the night sky
I bike on the trail by the river
I’m hesitant to ride next to cars
I’m a baby, but I just know how impulsive I can be
If I was in Chicago, I’d traverse the entire city
Flirt with cashiers to get free coffee
Who am I trying to be

Radiohead on rainy days
Trying to not revert to my old ways
It’s a gamble
How I want him
Unstable
As a matter of fact
One of those things that won’t happen
But at least I like someone sane
Upgrade to first class
She went to the doctor; they found a mass
I come home and it’s home at last

I’m skeptical towards new things
I thought about packing up all my belongings
My diamond ring
I never thought about selling it
It never crossed my mind
Those were beautiful times
It’s winter now and I’m getting by
Cold coffee
Touching the pot when it’s warm
Closure doesn’t exist, stop calling me
Listen to voicemails when I’m sad
I wish there were some from my late dad
I wish he could be someone’s father-in-law
Wedding traditions

Here’s your prescription
Three times a day
I’m the girl with the fortitude
I miss the feeling of being understood
Nothing better than listening to the Neighbourhood
Makes any day tolerable
Who in your life makes you feel vulnerable?
For a while I was untouchable

I’ve got a penchant for listening to music in the shower
I watch the sunrise, I’m awake at that hour
I’m glad we’re not together because he’s such a coward
Perfectly fine with abusing his power
Moving on is hard, I admit
That’s just the reality of it

Doing things for yourself
To escape
Decorating
A cassette tape
Glitter and blue ink
Life is best immersed in pink
I’m stable, what do you think?

No, tell me
What do you think?

 

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    Poem: In your company

    How do I tell you, that you’re the love of my life
    That sometimes when I daydream
    I picture being your wife
    I know I act like a diva
    But I’ll take any ring you can afford
    Life has been hard on us
    I want so bad to console you
    To adore you, never control you
    I’m finding it so hard to say the right things

    Please always be here, right at my wing
    I need you so I cannot break
    My head on your shoulder
    Your hand on my spine
    If I could, I would be with you, all of the time

    You let me decorate the walls with fashion and moons
    Bridal advertisements for their colors and luxe
    With you I’m fucked out of luck
    I’lll never have you how I want
    You don’t think I understand you, you’re making the wrong bet
    If you were a school of fish I’d be your fishnet
    Save you from the perils of the sea
    Surgically transform your gills into breathing mechanisms

    I can’t believe I’m saying this but you know I would die for you
    And that couldn’t be more true
    But in your company I am dying myself
    Succumbing to pain
    It hurts
    So
    Much
    To not be able to reach you like I want
    To you it’s like I’m writing in an illegible font
    I’m looking right at you but you’re glancing away
    Between us there’s so goddamn much we have to say
    I get on my knees and beg you to try things my way

    With you I’m fucked out of luck
    I’ll never have you how I want
    In your company I’m dying already

    It’s been a slow, debilitating, painful death
    I’m close to reaching the heavenly sunset
    I love you forever
    Say goodbye to my pets

    Poem: Ivory white bones


    roses, coffee, petal of a rose

    I’m out of bed
    Looking around
    Like
    This
    Is
    My
    Life
    And I live here
    Breathe here
    Lay in bed all day like I’m Lana Del Rey 
    Nothing special
    Cool like ice 
    If I had someone to buy me diamonds that’d be nice 
    And faux fur so soft that you think it’s mink 
    I’m headed for a revolution, I think

    Lately I don’t feel right
    Something isn’t set in stone 
    They’re small, my ivory white bones 
    I wonder particularly what their colors are
    I wonder if he can think about me when we’re displaced so far
    Blueberries and coffee
    Strawberries and pie 
    I got tired of thinking I needed a guy 
    I can pitch a tent and perfectly tie a tie 
    I’m the one that gets to be the bad guy 

    Sometimes I huddle up real small
    It helps when there’s darling, sparkling rainfall 
    I’m still scared of monsters
    They walk on the streets 
    I’m afraid of the boys that crawl into sleeping girls’ bedsheets 
    Without saying a thing

    You on my planet?  
    I could use a friend
    I have too many things to comprehend 
    Too paranoid of my notebooks to be found
    I close my eyes and I spin around 

    I spin around
    Touchdown 
    Take me down
    Just take me somewhere nice and let me spin for now 

    Find me dead downtown

     


    D O V E

    I woke up today

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    Dandelions
    in the summertime

    Keepsakes

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    Love to have the breeze go by
    stored memories

    Your favorite band

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    plays on the radio
    feed your head


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