Tag: boys

Poem: Too trusting

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Poem: Too trusting

I stay wondering
If my father was watching over me, how could he steer me into your direction
It must be a fault of his
Perhaps some way of showing me I’m smarter than this
Crawling back to your pink lips
The detriment of this miss

I keep thinking to myself
Why would, knowing the things that I know, I go back to you
Sleepless nights, catering to my deepest thoughts that are blue
Swimming in technicolor sound waves, I reimburse
The fact that you and I are too much alike in the ways we run towards the hills
On the yard looking through bills
I can’t pay these days

Your teenage bedroom that in your 30s you find yourself back in
I’m in the desert, no cell reception
Came here to calm my mind but the heat has me in a frenzy
I stay wondering
If my father was watching over me
Would he be mad the way I play this game
Is he up there, practically screaming my name
Telling me to not go this way again

The sea meets my cold feet at the shore
I’m almost certain that at this point I shouldn’t be in love anymore
I hear screaming in the background but it’s coming from my mind
I hear screaming in the background and it’s something scary, I find
I take the coarse sand, make a castle, and I start wondering how
It’s been almost three years and we’re not engaged somehow
The detriment, I’ve found

When I get to the city I check my phone, 6 missed calls from you
No voicemails
You get to this place where you lose your mind and don’t know what to do
How come you don’t believe I’ll swallow you
I’m trained for it
Been a bad girl my whole life
I hear your carefully colluded sighs
They make my brain melt, like four hundred degrees
Blonde hair blowing in the breeze
Almost melting underneath

If my father was watching over me
All of the hell you brought to me, he would tell me
If my father was watching over me
I conclude he must not be
Running in your direction was all me

You swallow me
Because I’m too trusting
You swallow me
Because I’m too trusting


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Poem: Lying in a field of daisies

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Poem: Lying in a field of daisies

It was Saturday; daisies and sweet sunshine
I bought myself kiwi-watermelon wine
Caught up to you right on time
After work you have a few hours to see me
I’m trying real hard to not tell you the truth about all of the things that are going on with me
If you knew, you’d flee
Though I do better when you’re gone
I never said that I was done
But I like holding your arm like this
Introduce me to your adorable little fish
That you have different names for, and varying relationships with
I almost died on the sixth
You were the last thing on my lips

Your apartment’s above a bakery so we wake up to the smell of cookies and muffins
You ask me something serious, I tell you I got nothing
I’m not made out the way you wanted
I can tell, my thoughts are haunted
I wonder if you’d mind if I just, disappeared
For a while
Long enough to write more poetry that isn’t about you
Long enough to find myself in ways more than pink and blue
Long enough to try to escape the physical body I feel chained and restrained to
Look, it’s going to rain
It’s like God saw me and noticed I’m in pain
I wish I could see my dad again

I looked through my tank playing cards, admiring that T-34
I found his old letters, so many pages I gripped, and I tore
I couldn’t stop myself
I wanted them off my shelf
I should have called for help
But I don’t know whether you are or you aren’t one of those boys that picks up the phone when a girl calls you in the middle of the work day
And to be honest I wasn’t ready to find out that way
So on my light pink bedspread I fell backwards and lay
The moon orchestrated this day
I have faith in the sun but not the stars
I love the different models of them high-up cars
I don’t really mind if all we go to are bars
Just know that here we are
In a place that’s
Silent
Quiet
Not meant for people that bring the noise

Lying in a field of daisies
For a young ballerina, I’ve never looked so poised
And I know by your expression that it makes you annoyed
Go to sleep, close your eyes, listen to the twirling fan noise

Lying in a field of daisies
My response to your behavior has got me annoyed
I’ll stay in a hotel tonight, I’ll pay the fee
Maybe when I get out, I’ll finally be free

Lying in a field of daisies


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Poem: Burnt ash & perfume

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Poem: Burnt ash & perfume

You told me that you wanted to read the poems that I end up not posting to my website
You said those are probably the best ones
I just thought you didn’t like my writing
Move my hair behind my right side
This is it
That’s all I have
There’s really no more of me
I sing too
When I’m blue
You swallow me

mailbox, letter boxes, post mail box

I bought the prettiest pink shower curtain
With ruffles on the bottom
Only a few days before my cat shred it to death
Which I thought was rather tasteful
Now it looks like someone got in a bad fight
I’m in for a fright
You call me, you ask to spend the night
Yeah right

I’m in here
Surrounded by black claws and thin ballerina dolls
That play eery slow classical sounds and spin around
I’m the director of this facility
I scan every body and send them either left or right
I don’t like what I do
It frightens me what is done
After the bodies go to the right
It’s not right

I’m attached to you
But I can easily remove myself
I learned by watching you

This is really all I have for you
It doesn’t get better
So when you are cold, and you put on my sweater

I hope the smell of burnt ash & rose perfume is gone

rose, flower, love

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Poem: Paranoid and proud (10,000 times)

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Paranoid and proud (10,000)

Enigmatic, or desolate

I knock on your door slowly
Trembling
I don’t want to interrupt your work
You tell me to crawl over to the desk
I said babe, I’ve got a headache
My hair is a mess
I can’t pass your tests

I’m stupid and paranoid
None of your answers make sense
Where were you last Tuesday
Who was that in the car
You reach for another cigar
You’re the most beautiful boy but your personality is tar
You’re mean about my scars

A variation of you and me (but it’s just a fantasy)

The white roses have died
Is it me or my pride
That I always remind you of how my favorite man died
I know I’m a burden, I scream on the inside
Walking on eggshells
Tiny glass fragments
When you threw the vase at the wall because you couldn’t find your glasses
The white roses, they’ve died anyway
Entered a state of decay
Quite like I have, and it’s how I will stay
The light has left me, what do you make of my remains
I’m more revolting every day

Chaos and butterflies
Surprise me with flowers
Plant a tree every time you yawn when I talk about my interests
If this isn’t love or lust then what is this
Why do I sit on your lap every time you come around
How come I put my face to a pillow so that I don’t make a sound
How come you told me that the next time I get lost you hope I won’t ever be found
Like pitch black surround sound

I turn to the other side
I do my best to hide
Is that another exhibition of my pride?

You told me you loved to listen
You lied
Ten thousand times

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Instragram: @Lilacdovee

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