Love poem: Moth wings

Love poem: Moth wings

You know up and down what real love is
My god, have you felt and known that before
You see it traveling through your own veins
Sparkling bright on the kitchen floor

I decided to
Write myself a love letter
Because who really knows
Me any better?

What do I keep hurting myself for
Nobody’s looking in the mirror but you
I keep on dreaming what life has in store
But spin in circles until my knees fade to a distant blue
It’s so chaotic living like this
Never licking icing off the birthday cake
Consumes me like frostbite by the lake
The peak of my landscape of moth wings
And when I take the time to
Unpack my belongings
I suddenly realize
My god, I’m in love with everything
So why do I
Keep feeling like this
Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one

Love poem: Moth wings (continued)

We could see the winter snow again
Buy the coat with the elegant faux fur
You don’t even have to make amends
Cos even God knows talk of sin is absurd
We could see Lake Michigan freeze to death
While what’s underneath simply carries on
One day I’ll get out of bed
Just in time to watch the morning’s sun

You know back and forth what real love is
My god, you feel it now, just like you did before
Watch it coarse through your own stunning veins
Opulence and nervousness on the closet floor

Love poem: Moth wings (continued)

You’re too young to be afraid
Too old to hesitate
We can swim right in the lake
‘Till your body collapses on the seashore

So I decided to write a love letter to myself
Not because men let me down
But because the sound waves miss my eardrums
I go days without hearing a sound
But god, I love the tone of my own voice
Think it’s so funny that I picked up a southern accent
Next time someone says my name
I’ll remember I’ve been heaven-sent

Love poem: Moth wings (continued)

I can swim right in the lake
In the city of my dreams
‘Till my pale body collapses on the seashore
Flooded with hope like the legs of a millipede
I am warm and fragile and cold
My hair tends to burn if it’s by the fire
But my New Year’s resolution will still be to be ‘comfy cozy’
If I said I was suicidal, I’d have to be a liar

I can swim right in the lake
Lick frostbite like it’s ice cream
Knowing I’d have to seek urgent care
Hold myself real tight, several times during the day
Feel the humidity of the shower when I’m bare
I’m a mother to my children and myself
Lover of trucks, flowers, rose petals, and guns
I can stick around for a while

Just because I think it’d be fun.

Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one
With moth wings

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Love poem: Sensitive girl

Love poem: Sensitive girl

My father taught me how to shoot
Oh, he sure did, he taught me real well
But I’m a very sensitive girl
What would I really do if I was in front of you?
I don’t think I’d pull the trigger

I would most likely let you.

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling)

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling)

Can I show you what I think about
Daisies and marigolds and merry-go-rounds
When you’re stuck in the inner confines of your mind
I want to be one of the things that makes you unwind

I’ve been missing appointments
Surrounded by a terror I can’t seem to escape from
If there was a human being
Who could look into the pupils of my eyes
Tell me exactly how much incoming light
I’m receiving from the night sky

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]

I feel like a fossil, that has not yet been found
Wound up tight beneath the ground
Screaming my lungs out
As it is expected,
No audible sound

Flowers grow around the outside of my ivory thighs
I don’t dare pick them
Like the fresh cut flowers my mother gets me from the local grocery store
If I could lay beside you
On a bed of grass, I’m not allergic to
Tell you that I’ve been feeling, this way
Would it change
The course of things
I’m in love with diamond rings

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]

Doesn’t take much time to listen
But people are so busy
Everyone’s so lonely and they work so hard to distract themselves from this
But if you and I could sit in your garage
Count all the beautiful spiders
Give them names that we’ve picked out
For kids, we don’t know when or if we’ll have

Somewhere there is a boy that
Doesn’t ask me to take my glasses off
Actually finds them kind of hot
The aspartame in my can of coke will disassemble
Transform into a novel molecule
Inside my microbiome
Travel to my brain
Tell me there is both acceptable and unacceptable pain

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]

I think I am a princess
But I’m not locked in no castle
I live with a beautiful strawberry garden
That the snails keep on stealing
They’re small and they’re fragile
And I’m a home-maker
I want to be the dandelion
You waste your breath on

I’ll let you take it all from me
On the brink of insanity
Because with my own kindness I’m quite pleased

I think I am a princess
For the right guy to look at my pupils
Tell me how much light is coming in from the night sky

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Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate)

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate)

Angel wings, soft graphite
I’ve got this new leash on life
A bench post that I, chill at, beneath the sun
I’ll tell you everything I know about the people that
I’ve never met in person
I’ve yet to see the sidewalk blossom
Though I believe it to be possible
A fawn in a garden
An encyclopedia of your expressions
You picked me at the right time, and I’ll show you exactly how and why

Monrovia boulevard, hit a truck and left a sticker
How hospitable
Of me in my rather formal attire
A ballroom gown for our afternoon at the coffee shop
You tell me I’m so glamorous
Let me know you think I know it, too
I laugh like I’m tossing marbles and we’re
Little kids running
From the porch
To the garden

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]

I say things that don’t make any sense at all
And you smile because you just understand
You get why grey skies make me feel like
Watching thunderstorms from my bedside window
You get why I’m so scared of heights, but I want nothing more than to fall off skyscrapers
It looks fun to me
It feels nice to think
A freedom I can’t paint
Paper I can’t afford
From the store with the caution tape that you wrap me up in
I’ll bite

You have houseplants and I like that
Tending to something without wanting more from it in return
Down to Earth, high and dry, the mailbox was bent and broken
Like someone had knocked it over
I was vacillating between fixing something with my bare hands and coming across as an intruder
Polite political statements
You left dandelions for me on the hood of my car
I think you and I are something I would like to take part of

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]

You touch my teeth
I collect twigs for the front of your door
Discussing orientation of lenses and why people never end up treating you the way you would think
I try my best (starting today) not to analyze so,
But chaos is a burning structure of loss
With you having a favourite brand of dental floss
You’re awfully loyal to.

You are a wave made out of rain and when your current reaches me
I disappear underwater and discover parts of myself I believed to be missing
Thinking I could benefit from being more forgiving
As long as I held on tightly to myself
I found you on the shore, sitting on your surfboard, and you told me it was a curse to see so much
With Baby’s Breath and seaweed in my hair, I laid my head on your right broad shoulder
Believing it to be worth it
Invariably

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]

Eighteen captured photographs on film
Of me – pathetic, alive, detailed
In sudden gaps I see again my personal agency
And how if you’ll come with me

Butterflies will sign documents
Stating they no longer want such short lifespans

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Love poem: Fell back in love with me

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself

I am, a dandelion that’s losing its ligules
A dandelion on the street
Stepped on, on repeat – bracing the wind, but falling apart
Missing my roots
Crying because I won’t be in a vehicle with my father ever again
But the koala-grey sidewalk embraces me like its only friend

Gasping, breaking, compact but fragile – for eternity
Not asking anyone to save me
Because rap songs taught me that’s commonly dismissed
Neglected and disposed of
(Why am I so delicate?)
I breathe it and I love it, but God please help me, I’m exasperated
I wear my orthodox cross like it’s the most expensive diamond given to a queen
Nobody ever suspects a thing

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself (continued)

A guy once bought me, the most beautiful fiddle leaf fig tree
That I picked out, of course
Girl knows her houseplants
My bedroom lacked the sunshine to keep my baby alive
I wept on the floor staring at its fallen brown pieces
Feeling like I was one of them
Breaking for eternity
Shrivelling up and no longer green, but serene
I swallow the ground whole with my desire to love more than I ever have before
Time, and time, again.

You know, a girl, who truly loves flowers
Never “gets used” to receiving them
Each time is special, savoured, like those commercials with women and chocolate
I stop walking every few feet to capture a flower
One day, a boy said to me, “do you have to stop every time”
That was the end of him and I
Of course, I do
That’s what happens when you’re in love with white, pink, red, yellow, and blue
The colours dash through your mind when you’re not scrolling on your phone
Remembering the hydrangeas from Venice Beach
The sunset blooms at the rose garden at the museum where you spent your birthday in your own solid company
Breaking in composite structures
Swallowing the rose petals on the ground

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself (continued)

The dandelions on the street
Say something on repeat

They love me, they live through me
They engulf quite the vast part of me
And every piece of their frail self that flies away with the breeze
Becomes deeply embedded within me
And I love it, like cotton
I roll it, like marbles
If I’m ever, forgotten

I hope botany never is

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself (continued)

I know a girl
That will never “get used” to flowers
So endlessly abundant but single-handedly make this life worth it

They love me, they love me
They live right through me
I walk on the concrete
Looking for myself

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