Tag: blue

A very long poem: Demolition

distantcaveLeave a comment

A very long poem: Demolition

Menthol cigarettes got me feeling alive
Thank God for Texas not outlawing them
I missed this heavenly mint
Sterile landscape
Below the Mason-Dickinson line
I got wrinkles in my dress
& lately I’ve been right on time
For you to let me down

I been around waterfalls, but I haven’t seen it all
Stole a daisy ring from a convenience store
To be fair, it fell right out of its placement
To make the perfect vacation
I take a glance in the mirror and, I tell myself, I like what I see
Vacuum clean the ceiling on repeat
My tranquility wasn’t enough for this collapsing bridge
It came falling down upon me

I wish I could see what my lungs look like
Added another year to my timeline
Embodying an ancient goddess
Fading but getting closer to flawless
We’re stained on purpose cos that’s how God made his men
It’s you I’m talking about
It’s you I’m writing about
See trees you would like, decide to set them on fire
Broken barn door
Matches the stains on the floor
I’m a mess, can’t you tell
I clean everything I touch
Wipe the slate
Wipe the slate
Wash away your misguided truths in the swarming, crestfallen waves
Fears in disarray

Wheat fields are my daydreams
Inject rose thorns directly into my cheeks
Pain is surreal
It glows in the evening
Makes everyone’s headlights look more appealing
The bridges that overlap on the highways in Texas are making me lose my mind
Listen to me when I talk about what is perfection to me
In a room full of blank faces
I have nobody to tell
Anything that matters to me

Would you know the colour of my eyes if not for a close-up photograph
Oh, lucky you
I see a leaf
That you might like
It happens again
The rolled up wheat I crumbled in my pocket
Men of old age smoking tobacco on their truck beds by the corner liquor store
Am I self-absorbed because I run through my own mind
I’m so sick of saying things that people don’t understand
Like, who am I
Who am I to you
A close-up photograph
I’m at my best, I’ll tell you that

Safe with me
Demolition
I’m safe in my own arms
Tuck my tattooed thighs close to my chest
Pull myself in
Vomit lakes up
Then I see
A rose so lovely it softens my hair &

Leaves me dying to see how good my lungs are doing
When I smoke tobacco on a rusty truck bed
Little place for myself
Diamonds in my eyes
You wouldn’t know the colour
If you couldn’t reference it in a close-up photograph

We’re stained on purpose cos that’s how God made his women
Would it kill you
Would it kill you
Awake in your sleep

Safe only when I’m with me
Demolition
Demolition

They scream loudest at night

Support your favourite writer! paypal.me/LilacDoveCA

Love poem: Casualties

distantcave2 Comments

Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the subscribe/soundcloud portion. xx

Love poem: Casualties

We were driving alongside an emerald beach and I was
Filming a TikTok video of the water, as the waves reached a height that
Didn’t scare me, and suddenly
I looked down & there was water in the car
We were driving through the water
I could breathe
I couldn’t breathe
I could breathe
I was asleep
I couldn’t breathe
Like dandelions
Picked at the wrong time

There were no problems
And we were free
Free to be ourselves, free to get wrapped up in each other
Not constrained by the world propaganda or what’s playing on the news
Television set out of our reach
(Do you even own a television?)
Keyboard in the kitchen sink
Fragrant butterflies

Nape of your neck
Upset stomach
Belly aches for you

There have been nothing but problems
Just me tossed up in you, cradled like the darkest blue
Until we wake up
Foggy skies, hear me out
I’m well familiar with ambivalence
Am very good at counting chirality centers in molecules
Though, when the numbers are in front of me
I wonder if in a different life
I could add them up and find you, again
We’d be soft and innocent
Like dandelion breath
I wouldn’t have to bruise your ego

What would you do
Blank, empty face
I’m well familiar
Can sequence a genome, but can’t figure out how to tell a boy that
I wanted to be the place he calls home

(He’d know if he read my poetry
He’d know if he was in love with me)

Figment of my imagination
Heart palpitations
Misguided communication
On repeat, wouldn’t dare to press rewind
Fast-forward through the archive of my mind
A baby that takes several years to be born
Fully formed
A landscape of an intoxicating tornado with a sunny portrayal of graciousness

What are you indebted for?
When you’re not standing at my front door
Blue ribbons in my hair
A long, pink, satin dress that I
Planned
For the
Occasion

Where I
Would be
Alone
With my patience
Watching little kids chase after their parents
Watching little kids chase after their
Watching little kids chase after
Watching little

Kids holding rose petals
Speaking in Spanish that I understand
Now
How
We
Were

Meant to fall apart so casually

Just like that
We go back
To the places we call home
And we pretend
To not
Care

Help me afford my website hosting to keep this dream alive! paypal.me/LilacDoveCA

Poem: Coming home

distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: Coming home

My angel of all angels
I look for you everywhere
One jagged footstep after another
Saw so much of myself in you
Wanted to keep you safe
Shield you from the venomous, foggy skies

One pebble that forms an entire ocean
I’m enjoying the alone time
But I think of you constantly
(How could I not?)
At the edge of my lavender & velvet bed
Gorgeous brown eyes
A diameter so perfect it could bring me to tears

Fascinated by police sirens,
A villain that’s scared of nothing
In love with the sheer chaos of vitality, as am I
To be young and to grow old
Never do what you’re told
Watch television with me as the evening unfolds
Real perfection encapsulated, one single moment
Your brown eyes on repeat every single day

Us walking around the Windy City
You – looking so pretty
Me hopelessly attached to the fibers within you
A skeleton I
Sought to preserve
So I could run my fingers along your delicate spine
Happy

Lost dog
Posters of you everywhere
(In my mind)
Trying to figure out where it is, you went
Thinking whether and to what extent God was involved
It’s been three months, and it feels like you just left
I swear I can still feel you right there.

You were that vicious one on the street
Didn’t accept anyone else’s morals as your own
When you were with me,
Our worlds would never collide.
Felt like a perfect unison of all the good and evil in this world.
And I loved that about you
How you kept my secrets in a safe place
Somewhere nobody has been able to find

I take the exit to Bellflower Boulevard
I see you all over the place
Can you see me driving in the night?
Can you see me driving like I’m coming home to you?

Coming home to you
Can you see me coming home to you?
Wrapped up in my memories of you
Do you wonder where I am, too?

Lost dog
I tell God
Breathe the life into me that you took out of her.
I think I’ve seen and felt it all
I’m ready for you to come home
I’m ready for you to come home
My angel
My angel
My angel
My angel

Come home
Your brown eyes on repeat
Every single day

Support my work & my website! https://www.paypal.me/LilacDoveCA

Poem: Polite (alone)

distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: Polite (alone)

Be gentle with yourself
Your graceful little steps
Lavender ribbons in your hair
Pulling a drive-by at the car wash
Infuriating all of your closest friends
Tugging on the rips in your jeans, hoping that when the fabric bursts at the seams
You will pave the way for new daydreams
& life will be plentiful
Once upon a time

Like lock and key,
I thought you were made for me
But I was made for more
Than what this world has to offer

Inside we are all vulnerable
Deserving of kindness
But God isn’t always so polite.
A penchant for
Throwing stones at your door
My fingers appear as though they have suffered frostbite

Chewing on a plastic straw
I thought that I had gone too far
But then I noticed –
I had not moved at all
Weaving a new daydream
Absorbing my most fragile insecurities
And thinking they might be the reasons someone wonderful will fall in love with me

What would that be like?
I thought I had it in another life
When our spines reached the corners of the bedroom
That we had painted the most ethereal blue
I had ever intoxicated myself with, out of sheer hospitality
For the fiber network of my musculoskeletal orchestration
A girl in a sundress
The middle of winter
Taking my gloves off to text him back
Frostbite
Frostbite

Needless to say
I buy one pack of Parliaments per day
Just to never
Just to never
Just to never run out
Because what if I
Because what if I
What if I were to run out
Find you in the middle of the intersection
Screaming for help on a bookshelf
That you built yourself

Then, what would I do?
Coat you in ethereal blue?
I’d display all the facts that I contain in my porcelain doll frame, regarding the closest moon

Or find myself at home
With nobody on the phone
The concrete entering my residence like it’s testing my weightlessness

Paint me diamonds, buy me charcoal
Unravel me on purpose
With potential
To be
In a picture frame with me

This is
How
I remain
Alone

Support my website! (Everything is done by me) paypal.me/LilacDoveCA

Poem: Breathing room

distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: Breathing room

Allow yourself to be bored
Brush your teeth while they’re on the floor
Infertile like a flower
My higher power
Acrimony is not something I’d like to be familiar with

Let’s get faded in our raincoats
Consider myself blessed,
To be rolling around in the dirt, this mess
Is contagious, I am contagious
Don’t go down with me
I can see how your eyes roll
As they’re crawling closer to me

A poem by a young author about returning to stability.

My dandelion, my little candied nectar
Impatient with my relapse
Looking for the right hands
Your little typewriter bat wings

A man walking home carrying Trader Joe’s bags
They sell the most beautiful flowers
(I could photograph them for hours)
I came outside to smoke, but I’ll just sit in the sunshine
These days I have a final answer, and then another
Save it in a drawer for when the moment comes up
Forget it soon after because the violence in your eyes sustains me
Like the ocean is breathing and I have mid 16th century gills
I find more things stunning about myself than I have ever before felt
I’m in love with the hazel of the night
Amber and baby blue lights
Dinner of frostbite

I used to be so full of words
What happened to me?
I wake up early and all I want to do is to go to sleep
Then my cat shows me her claws
& I grab her toy string
We spend the rest of the morning doing ballroom dances around the living room
Like little kids
On amphetamines
Laughing until the walls collapse
I drive myself to the coffee shop
Watch a young child open the door for his mother

And it settles in that this life is on purpose
My bad habits shouldn’t make me nervous

They should make me find myself more stunning than I have ever before felt
Fabric stitched together
Needles in pockets
Dust in my lungs because my oxygen reserves are just fine

I came outside to smoke, but I’ll just sit in the sunshine
Baskets of florals
Life full of purpose

Tomorrow is Thursday and I’ll wake up early
To play with my cat in the living room

Support my work! paypal.me/LilacDoveCA