Tag: author

Love poem: Roses that never came in the mail

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Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the subscribe/Soundcloud portion. xx

Love poem: Roses that never came in the mail

When I get tired, my glasses weigh heavy on my face
You tripped me up, you did
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t extrapolate meaning from the events that we saw differently
Learned what is most important to me
Seventeen minutes until I’m home & the cars start to spin
Hoping it rains soon so I can read by the window
Let my outdoor plants feel the abyss of unexpected
nourishment
Weighing heavily of light-hearted anchors

Imagination is too powerful
I’m trying to immerse myself in the sky
But what do I think about when I try to go to sleep at night
Your laugh
The way you throw your head back
Cover your face
Intoxicating
Stains my mind in carnivorous ways

The way you throw your head back
Cover your face
One time you apologized, “sometimes I laugh really hard”
I loved it
That I made you laugh
Something calming about that

I can be the most comforting person you’ve ever come across
But at some point you have to show up for me
That’s what breaks my heart
Just a little bit
Just a tad
I thought things were getting better but they never had
Soft rubber bands
Roses that never came in the mail

I study physics all day and
Learn so many things I wish I could share with you
It was me who ended things
I remain strong and confident in my position
Though I would be lying
Oh, I would be lying

If I didn’t think about how you would throw your head back
When I would make you laugh
All I want is to be comforting
I’m reserved with other people, but all I want is to be my true self
Even if that means going where there’s nobody else

Roses that never came in the mail
Now I can tell the tale

Of the boy I was so, so close to falling with in lo-

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A very long poem: Demolition

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A very long poem: Demolition

Menthol cigarettes got me feeling alive
Thank God for Texas not outlawing them
I missed this heavenly mint
Sterile landscape
Below the Mason-Dickinson line
I got wrinkles in my dress
& lately I’ve been right on time
For you to let me down

I been around waterfalls, but I haven’t seen it all
Stole a daisy ring from a convenience store
To be fair, it fell right out of its placement
To make the perfect vacation
I take a glance in the mirror and, I tell myself, I like what I see
Vacuum clean the ceiling on repeat
My tranquility wasn’t enough for this collapsing bridge
It came falling down upon me

I wish I could see what my lungs look like
Added another year to my timeline
Embodying an ancient goddess
Fading but getting closer to flawless
We’re stained on purpose cos that’s how God made his men
It’s you I’m talking about
It’s you I’m writing about
See trees you would like, decide to set them on fire
Broken barn door
Matches the stains on the floor
I’m a mess, can’t you tell
I clean everything I touch
Wipe the slate
Wipe the slate
Wash away your misguided truths in the swarming, crestfallen waves
Fears in disarray

Wheat fields are my daydreams
Inject rose thorns directly into my cheeks
Pain is surreal
It glows in the evening
Makes everyone’s headlights look more appealing
The bridges that overlap on the highways in Texas are making me lose my mind
Listen to me when I talk about what is perfection to me
In a room full of blank faces
I have nobody to tell
Anything that matters to me

Would you know the colour of my eyes if not for a close-up photograph
Oh, lucky you
I see a leaf
That you might like
It happens again
The rolled up wheat I crumbled in my pocket
Men of old age smoking tobacco on their truck beds by the corner liquor store
Am I self-absorbed because I run through my own mind
I’m so sick of saying things that people don’t understand
Like, who am I
Who am I to you
A close-up photograph
I’m at my best, I’ll tell you that

Safe with me
Demolition
I’m safe in my own arms
Tuck my tattooed thighs close to my chest
Pull myself in
Vomit lakes up
Then I see
A rose so lovely it softens my hair &

Leaves me dying to see how good my lungs are doing
When I smoke tobacco on a rusty truck bed
Little place for myself
Diamonds in my eyes
You wouldn’t know the colour
If you couldn’t reference it in a close-up photograph

We’re stained on purpose cos that’s how God made his women
Would it kill you
Would it kill you
Awake in your sleep

Safe only when I’m with me
Demolition
Demolition

They scream loudest at night

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Love poem: Casualties

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Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the subscribe/soundcloud portion. xx

Love poem: Casualties

We were driving alongside an emerald beach and I was
Filming a TikTok video of the water, as the waves reached a height that
Didn’t scare me, and suddenly
I looked down & there was water in the car
We were driving through the water
I could breathe
I couldn’t breathe
I could breathe
I was asleep
I couldn’t breathe
Like dandelions
Picked at the wrong time

There were no problems
And we were free
Free to be ourselves, free to get wrapped up in each other
Not constrained by the world propaganda or what’s playing on the news
Television set out of our reach
(Do you even own a television?)
Keyboard in the kitchen sink
Fragrant butterflies

Nape of your neck
Upset stomach
Belly aches for you

There have been nothing but problems
Just me tossed up in you, cradled like the darkest blue
Until we wake up
Foggy skies, hear me out
I’m well familiar with ambivalence
Am very good at counting chirality centers in molecules
Though, when the numbers are in front of me
I wonder if in a different life
I could add them up and find you, again
We’d be soft and innocent
Like dandelion breath
I wouldn’t have to bruise your ego

What would you do
Blank, empty face
I’m well familiar
Can sequence a genome, but can’t figure out how to tell a boy that
I wanted to be the place he calls home

(He’d know if he read my poetry
He’d know if he was in love with me)

Figment of my imagination
Heart palpitations
Misguided communication
On repeat, wouldn’t dare to press rewind
Fast-forward through the archive of my mind
A baby that takes several years to be born
Fully formed
A landscape of an intoxicating tornado with a sunny portrayal of graciousness

What are you indebted for?
When you’re not standing at my front door
Blue ribbons in my hair
A long, pink, satin dress that I
Planned
For the
Occasion

Where I
Would be
Alone
With my patience
Watching little kids chase after their parents
Watching little kids chase after their
Watching little kids chase after
Watching little

Kids holding rose petals
Speaking in Spanish that I understand
Now
How
We
Were

Meant to fall apart so casually

Just like that
We go back
To the places we call home
And we pretend
To not
Care

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Poem: Coming home

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Poem: Coming home

My angel of all angels
I look for you everywhere
One jagged footstep after another
Saw so much of myself in you
Wanted to keep you safe
Shield you from the venomous, foggy skies

One pebble that forms an entire ocean
I’m enjoying the alone time
But I think of you constantly
(How could I not?)
At the edge of my lavender & velvet bed
Gorgeous brown eyes
A diameter so perfect it could bring me to tears

Fascinated by police sirens,
A villain that’s scared of nothing
In love with the sheer chaos of vitality, as am I
To be young and to grow old
Never do what you’re told
Watch television with me as the evening unfolds
Real perfection encapsulated, one single moment
Your brown eyes on repeat every single day

Us walking around the Windy City
You – looking so pretty
Me hopelessly attached to the fibers within you
A skeleton I
Sought to preserve
So I could run my fingers along your delicate spine
Happy

Lost dog
Posters of you everywhere
(In my mind)
Trying to figure out where it is, you went
Thinking whether and to what extent God was involved
It’s been three months, and it feels like you just left
I swear I can still feel you right there.

You were that vicious one on the street
Didn’t accept anyone else’s morals as your own
When you were with me,
Our worlds would never collide.
Felt like a perfect unison of all the good and evil in this world.
And I loved that about you
How you kept my secrets in a safe place
Somewhere nobody has been able to find

I take the exit to Bellflower Boulevard
I see you all over the place
Can you see me driving in the night?
Can you see me driving like I’m coming home to you?

Coming home to you
Can you see me coming home to you?
Wrapped up in my memories of you
Do you wonder where I am, too?

Lost dog
I tell God
Breathe the life into me that you took out of her.
I think I’ve seen and felt it all
I’m ready for you to come home
I’m ready for you to come home
My angel
My angel
My angel
My angel

Come home
Your brown eyes on repeat
Every single day

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Lilac love poem: Noise (across the room)

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Lilac love poem: Noise (across the room)

I can’t fall in love with you if you’re across the room from me

But I can’t change you
Been so endlessly patient with you
Waiting for the thunderstorm to clear, yet a new one comes in hot
Shows me my fears
Pours hot coffee all over me
Covered

I bit my inner lip
Overflowing with an unwelcoming anxiety
Until both the insides of the top and bottom started to bleed
& as the blood poured in
Filling the tiny spaces between my teeth
I could taste the iron &
I felt closer to myself
Than I did
Looking in your bathroom mirror
Wondering why the tiles on the floor have to be so nice
The bathtub so luxurious, so unused
A pitfall of possibilities & potential
Thought I was steering towards irrationality
But all it was
Was hope
& isn’t that familiar
Isn’t that something I could dissolve deeply into

I realized, there was nothing to save
If I could just have that museum day
Back & I’d be on time & you’d see that I’ve been waiting what feels like my whole life
To look into somebody’s eyes & feel safe

But this empty space –
This is not the place
These are the alleyways your parents warned you about
The Instagram posts about what red flags to look for
Suddenly you’re driving and cannot stop thinking
About how someone doesn’t have to necessarily be a bad person to still be unfulfilling to you
I swallowed that truth
It’s all a girl like me can do –
One who dreams in pink
Prays every second she blinks
Doesn’t ever let spiders go down the sink

Unless they want to
Unless they beg me to
Then, what am I to do?

This
Is me
Letting go
Of you

It’s all
A girl
Like me
Can do

I can’t fall in love with you if you won’t walk across the room towards me

I can’t
Take the noise
Out of your head

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