Category: Personal

Love poem: Miss Dior (your perfume)

distantcaveLeave a comment

Arachnids are crawling all over me.
They’re starting to really itch my knees
But, honey, the way you throw your head back
When you laugh
At the way I dance
To these songs that I’m showing you right now, in this light,
You are sunshine,
Pure sunshine.

I’ll learn how to pick a lock just for you
If that’s seriously what you want me to do
I’ll find an online manual,
I don’t even care where
I’m afraid of the things I would do for you
But I keep it very composed, calm and close
And the way you look with your mauve lip gloss
Sunshine
Bright lights
Yellow dahlias
So mine

You look way too beautiful to be sleeping in a bed
That’s
Lying flat on the floor
I mean,
I’m pretty sure
I hate when I find songs that make me perfectly think of you,
I end up playing them into the night.

I don’t even know what this fragrance is
But, oh my, am I all over you
There is rosewater flowing out of the tap
And a white pickup truck in my driveway
Oh my, what am I to do?
Oh my, what am I to do with you?
So fragrant, so lush
Like fruit
How soon can I marry you?

I had a surprisingly good dream for once.
Seems like the night terrors are temporarily at bay
All it was was that I was having a conversation with someone who was looking straight at me and
Laughing
In the loveliest of ways.
He just wanted to hear what I had to say next
Somehow I felt so comfortable sitting there in my seat
I kept making jokes
I kept stumbling over my words
What’s new there?
But I was so happy, for once, I think
And I woke up, and I told my mother that I had had such a splendid dream
But it was only a simple conversation.
The kind that the normal people have seen.

I have
On repeat
Every day,
Like a habit
Muted faces
Mutilation
Picket fences
Fresh paint
Every day
Like a perfect habit
Dirty pickup truck
That I wash every Saturday
And I see the plane flying
And I don’t wanna be on it
Because I’m comfortable being right here
Because of your perfume

Intoxicating
Trembling
Can’t quite describe
The ending
All that I
Remember
Is the smell of
Your
Perfume

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Love poem: From the garden

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem; From the garden

You with your
Fast car
I’m holding my
Seatbelt
Wondering how careless you could be with your daughter
And after you were gone,
I figured out why you were so unbothered
Mechanic by daylight
Television by bedtime
I’d do anything to cut one of the garden peaches for you again

All I know is that I hope you’re digging your way through the gloom of the deep cement clouds
To see what I’m up to
How I’ve been living
I found me a boy
That treats me like a princess
I pretend to be doing well
But who am I kidding
Your never-stifled laughter is
Something I’ll forever be needing

Love poem: From the garden [continued]

I put my wrinkled dollar bills on the counter
To pay for a blueberry icee
The cashier tells me
That I string words together so nicely
I wonder at what age
Did I become so inviting?
I just know you weren’t there to see it
I was a canine addicted to biting

And I’d do anything to
Cut one of the garden pears for you again
See your bright expression
In that very moment, right then
I was an imperfect daughter
To a highly flawed father

And I wish I could go back to those days
Like, all of the time
And I wish I could ask you for advice
Like, all of the time
And I wish I could come home late to you angry
Like, all of the time
And I wish I could feel the thrill of 100 miles per hour
Like, all of the time
Without crying

Love poem: Moth wings

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Love poem: Moth wings

You know up and down what real love is
My god, have you felt and known that before
You see it traveling through your own veins
Sparkling bright on the kitchen floor

I decided to
Write myself a love letter
Because who really knows
Me any better?

What do I keep hurting myself for
Nobody’s looking in the mirror but you
I keep on dreaming what life has in store
But spin in circles until my knees fade to a distant blue
It’s so chaotic living like this
Never licking icing off the birthday cake
Consumes me like frostbite by the lake
The peak of my landscape of moth wings
And when I take the time to
Unpack my belongings
I suddenly realize
My god, I’m in love with everything
So why do I
Keep feeling like this
Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one

Love poem: Moth wings (continued)

We could see the winter snow again
Buy the coat with the elegant faux fur
You don’t even have to make amends
Cos even God knows talk of sin is absurd
We could see Lake Michigan freeze to death
While what’s underneath simply carries on
One day I’ll get out of bed
Just in time to watch the morning’s sun

You know back and forth what real love is
My god, you feel it now, just like you did before
Watch it coarse through your own stunning veins
Opulence and nervousness on the closet floor

Love poem: Moth wings (continued)

You’re too young to be afraid
Too old to hesitate
We can swim right in the lake
‘Till your body collapses on the seashore

So I decided to write a love letter to myself
Not because men let me down
But because the sound waves miss my eardrums
I go days without hearing a sound
But god, I love the tone of my own voice
Think it’s so funny that I picked up a southern accent
Next time someone says my name
I’ll remember I’ve been heaven-sent

Love poem: Moth wings (continued)

I can swim right in the lake
In the city of my dreams
‘Till my pale body collapses on the seashore
Flooded with hope like the legs of a millipede
I am warm and fragile and cold
My hair tends to burn if it’s by the fire
But my New Year’s resolution will still be to be ‘comfy cozy’
If I said I was suicidal, I’d have to be a liar

I can swim right in the lake
Lick frostbite like it’s ice cream
Knowing I’d have to seek urgent care
Hold myself real tight, several times during the day
Feel the humidity of the shower when I’m bare
I’m a mother to my children and myself
Lover of trucks, flowers, rose petals, and guns
I can stick around for a while

Just because I think it’d be fun.

Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one
Like I’m the only one
With moth wings

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Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times

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Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times

Like picked out of a hornet’s nest,
I painted the walls an ivory-white mixed with peach-pink.
You don’t even drive a truck, so why am I so in love
With you
It must be your character
Your calm personality, too
I can’t do my own laundry without thinking of how you told me,
You would move to Chicago if that was where I was meant to be
We planned our future alongside each other
With short attention span like honeybees.

Like picked straight out of a hornet’s nest
You melted and hardened me like the sap on Sycamore trees.
You kept your cards so close
Like a wild Siamese
A cat scratch disease

Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times (continued)

You’re the kind of guy that –
If you hit someone with your car
They’ll say it really wasn’t your fault at all
I’m the kind of girl
That knows to carefully watch the things I may say
Even though it all
Gets skewed anyway

You can see why I thought we’d be perfect.
You can understand why I wanted to work through it
I nicked my finger trying to open
An Amazon package
Got blood stains on my t-shirt and had to change immediately
Obviously, you know what they would have to say
Sometimes I feel jealous that your life is so black-and-white
Because I feel like the clothing one doesn’t want to put away
And I have no right to complain
My life just turned out this way

When we sat on your couch, and you paused the film
To tell me all about work and all the things that you feel,
I think I fell in love with you for the seventeenth time
And I knew I’d be in love with you for the rest of my life.

Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times (continued)

Because if I accidentally looked down, and hit someone with my car
they would probably say that I had planned this all along
I don’t wanna sound like a victim, but am I truly wrong?
If you were to do quite the same
Regardless of which neurotransmitters were on fire in your brain
They’d forgive you before you even had the option to apologize
Exactly how I did so, so, so many times

Because when I think of that one night,
Our entire future flashes right before my eyes
You and me and Chicago, the city of my dreams
Yet God has other plans
He knows what’s right, it seems
And so did I because when came the sinking feeling
I had the strength to come up for air
Am I self-absorbed to say it?
Am I no longer a casualty if I own it?

Now I’m driving on the motorway, passing by your place
I think I would collapse if I were to see your face.
But if you saw mine,
You may not even recognize
I walk a fine line between being everybody and nobody at the same time

Love poem: Skin to teeth, nineteen times (continued)

I still have visions of us going out
I still have thoughts of us dancing together
I still have visions of us going out
I still have daydreams of us dancing in poor weather

If we were next to each other in the car
And if you were to make a mistake,
No uncertainty I’d take the blame immediately
Because it’s ingrained so deeply within me
Written on the inner walls of my veins
I’d take the blame

A martyr for nothing
A martyr for you and me
And now I’m changing course
I’m thinking things through a little bit more definitively

I’m on the motorway passing by your place
and if I were to see your face
I would hopelessly fall in love for the eighteenth time

“Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.”
He died for our sins
So that I can make peace with mine,
For the nineteenth time

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Love poem: Forever holds onto me

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem: Forever holds onto me

I was holding onto you
I was holding onto you
There was nothing I could do
There was nothing I could do
But only to know that I’d forever be helplessly in love with you

My best, world’s best, memories
Were me with fingertips
And the silly little way you walked
My starlight, my noble gas
My everything and all I could give inside one celestial collapse
I find it impossible
How one could not look
At your precious face for the last time
You were right there
You would always be mine

Love poem: Forever holds onto me (continued)

I was holding onto you
There was nothing they could do
I said keep trying, keep moving
I was so not done being with you
Every time
You looked at me
Is laid like concrete in my memory
There was nothing they could do
And I said, well, keep trying
There is no fucking way the love of my life is dying

I cry in the shower
Feel like screaming at grocery stores
Because you aren’t, in my bed, of course
I’m happy
It happened
So fast

Otherwise
I don’t think
I would last

And you and I both knew, I couldn’t die before you

Love poem: Forever holds onto me (continued)

I was holding on
With my bare arms
Holding you like a baby
Comforting you like a blanket
There was nothing more they could do
They promised and I believe them

You and I both know, I could not have died before you
Now, it’s nearing May
Dear God, what am I to do

This time last year,
I still had you.

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