Poem: Growing up (I’m a grown-up)

Poem: Growing up (I’m a grown-up)

I wanted to be all grown up
I wanted to be all –

In the summertime, I’m ravished by a thousand medallions
Fragrances of June feathers and soft remembrances
Sparkling streamers commemorating my absence from the Heavens
And credit cards saying they’ll spend all their worth on me
All their worth on me
The flowers are wilting just for me
I see you put up walls to cover your misery
You know brick and mortar can’t overpower me

We knew we’d eventually separate into two
Composite values
For which an absolute is not a resolute conception
And my evening dress is
Too sophisticated to mention
An evening made for redemption
I can tell you’re apprehensive
Always having bad days
In your chosen remote location for being pensive
He said I was filled with love, his daffodils only turning up lust
So much that I’ve gathered has turned to dust
And I’m waiting, praying, I don’t combust
Memory’s spears have had enough

In trying times, we cut the lines that separate your horizon from mine
And we’ll get through this, every little moment
Is a chance for us to know what we didn’t before it
I’m afraid but I don’t show it
I have to pay, but to whom do I really owe it?

Next to paradise canyon and the dooming, glooming waterfalls
I look across a thousand strangers’ faces
Crisp and green, tinted-pink eyeballs
I’m made of riches
And I think this itch is
Giving me a headache like when you lie in your bed awake
And you don’t know how much more laughter you can take
You don’t know where Eden’s best diamonds are made
And whether your loss is a loss, or if it’s fate
I chose not to eat my birthday cake
I almost threw up from the bitter taste
You said honey wait, yeah okay, I’ll wait
A thousand streams in my mind for me to paint
I love making you melt, watching you cascade
When is too late, really too late?

I want you crestfallen in an amber honeypot from Hell
I want to bathe in the remaining residual prime numbers from orthodox haven
I want your miscalculations to sound like compliments
Watering my house plants
Completing my silly little routine tasks

Your lies are a chore and your cradle is where you were born and this city is what we will go on to forever mourn
Several traced pathways to the kingdom we couldn’t seize
Drinking strawberry soy ice cream milkshakes
Like how much more is it gonna take
Like how much more time am I throwing away
How many more birthdays to memorize for the sake of remembering dates
I lost my sanity somewhere where I said goodbye
To all the people that died slow deaths begging for me to stay
I made it to the pink, comforting, but swollen cave
And I thought about my biggest mistakes
Days passed as I made my way through the trenches
To find your favourite New York City bench, which is
The place of sentences interlaced back and forth
In a crochet-knit paradise of conventions
Where you were too handsome for me to mention
Any hesitation or break in my thought patterns

Like whether love was all that really mattered
When I’d stay up late, crystal daisy-filled vineyards I would destroy before you rose with the sun
I could have sworn I was coming closer
But I was the only one
And I am the only one
Calling you from this telephone booth
Telling you I think I’m ready to grow up now

Do you have some time to find me now
To figure me out
To spend days with a girl in a blue satin dress
That took several hours getting dressed
Because inherently she thinks she’s a mess
And romance can bring impending stress
When you don’t feel that you are, the portrait of your complete best

Can I come home now
I’ve been alone now
In this telephone booth with a line forming around the corner
And if I were yours, I’d put everything in order
But twice is too much, and you thrive on disorder

I’m all grown up now
Can I come home?

I wanted to be all grown up
I wanted to be all –

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