Love poem: Someone new (pastel pink blush)
You were a one-man show
Hardly feeding off the audience
And I was so afraid of ever letting you down
But when I think of last winter
I lose my train of thought
Like my body’s trying to tell me
Not to go back there
Not to stay aware
Not to send you a letter to let you know I’d be there
![](https://i0.wp.com/lilacdove.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/152218881f73ee7a0178def105bc3c6b.jpg?resize=474%2C474&ssl=1)
I don’t have
Any photographs
Because I thought I wasn’t the type to document things
And when you’d leave the table
To take a call
I’d find comfort in sitting alone at the bar
Like I showed up on my own
With nobody to remind me
The emptiness of staring in the corners of the eyes of my boy as he’s gazing away
Not taking notice of the blush on my cheeks
That I re-applied several thousand times
To paint myself as
A happy girl
A happy girl
The corner of your deep brown, vacant eyes
![](https://i0.wp.com/lilacdove.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/8090878aefa2c9d21a08ec902e1e5dee.jpg?resize=563%2C772&ssl=1)
I stayed awake, most nights
Couldn’t bear to turn off the lights
Had stunning pink visuals running through my neural fiber sheath
Racing our cars against each other
Through the wind and never without
Asking about your day because that, to me, was the most important part of mine
How I grew so tired sometimes
Wondering if I had
Mistakenly locked myself up in a basement surrounded by mirrors
I could never bring myself to look in because
I knew
The light pastel pink blush on my cheeks
Wasn’t quite right
Wasn’t quite right
![](https://i0.wp.com/lilacdove.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/bda27dbe537f564e946519afcd603023.jpg?resize=474%2C536&ssl=1)
Sometimes I hear a song
That I think you might like
I guess I’m still wondering how to make you feel better
It wears me out
I turn off the sound
Because of this, it just doesn’t feel right
It just doesn’t feel right
That it’s a Saturday and I’m alone tonight
![](https://i0.wp.com/lilacdove.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/4bfe328b8ca6bf6c6c5663ee4a84d0c4.jpg?resize=474%2C474&ssl=1)
But it’s like I’ve arrived at my desk so that I could sit with the silence
Wondering the count of the distance between us in miles
Ripping the Christmas card I bought for you into small pieces
That was old news, old news, old news
Maybe next December
I’ll have gotten over you
![](https://i0.wp.com/lilacdove.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/e1c4c1553437e8ec2006c672ee6187d7.jpg?resize=564%2C1002&ssl=1)
And that could feel
Quite right
And I could turn off
The light
And I could get my blush
Just right
By being with someone new
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