A very long poem: Demolition

A very long poem: Demolition

Menthol cigarettes got me feeling alive
Thank God for Texas not outlawing them
I missed this heavenly mint
Sterile landscape
Below the Mason-Dickinson line
I got wrinkles in my dress
& lately I’ve been right on time
For you to let me down

I been around waterfalls, but I haven’t seen it all
Stole a daisy ring from a convenience store
To be fair, it fell right out of its placement
To make the perfect vacation
I take a glance in the mirror and, I tell myself, I like what I see
Vacuum clean the ceiling on repeat
My tranquility wasn’t enough for this collapsing bridge
It came falling down upon me

I wish I could see what my lungs look like
Added another year to my timeline
Embodying an ancient goddess
Fading but getting closer to flawless
We’re stained on purpose cos that’s how God made his men
It’s you I’m talking about
It’s you I’m writing about
See trees you would like, decide to set them on fire
Broken barn door
Matches the stains on the floor
I’m a mess, can’t you tell
I clean everything I touch
Wipe the slate
Wipe the slate
Wash away your misguided truths in the swarming, crestfallen waves
Fears in disarray

Wheat fields are my daydreams
Inject rose thorns directly into my cheeks
Pain is surreal
It glows in the evening
Makes everyone’s headlights look more appealing
The bridges that overlap on the highways in Texas are making me lose my mind
Listen to me when I talk about what is perfection to me
In a room full of blank faces
I have nobody to tell
Anything that matters to me

Would you know the colour of my eyes if not for a close-up photograph
Oh, lucky you
I see a leaf
That you might like
It happens again
The rolled up wheat I crumbled in my pocket
Men of old age smoking tobacco on their truck beds by the corner liquor store
Am I self-absorbed because I run through my own mind
I’m so sick of saying things that people don’t understand
Like, who am I
Who am I to you
A close-up photograph
I’m at my best, I’ll tell you that

Safe with me
I’m safe in my own arms
Tuck my tattooed thighs close to my chest
Pull myself in
Vomit lakes up
Then I see
A rose so lovely it softens my hair &

Leaves me dying to see how good my lungs are doing
When I smoke tobacco on a rusty truck bed
Little place for myself
Diamonds in my eyes
You wouldn’t know the colour
If you couldn’t reference it in a close-up photograph

We’re stained on purpose cos that’s how God made his women
Would it kill you
Would it kill you
Awake in your sleep

Safe only when I’m with me

They scream loudest at night

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