Tag: poem

Poem: Baddd girlfrienddd

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Poem: Baddd girlfrienddd

I want him to love me for my bad reputation
Lilacs and daisies,
And we don’t even have to have those kinds of conversations.
Like who do you think you are all the time misbehaving?
But I’m just a little doll in a lace dress,
Can’t you see how much joy I’ve been faking?

My garden is so pretty
My kitchen is pristine
New tiles on the bathroom floor to feel Victorian,
And I know that my cursive is quite Gregorian.
You vomit all over my love letters because it’s too much for you.
And maybe that’s why we’re not so–

Made for each other,
Perfect synchronous lovers.
I’m embarrassed to say
I think about it every day.
Do you think you want more from me?
I’m already overflowing- a coffee cup that forms bubbles and bleeds
I want you to buy me flowers most of all
And I worry this is the only thing I ever think about
And do I worry that I’m not enough for you?

Poem: Baddd girlfrienddd (continued)

All the opposite,
Your grey hairs in such ethereal hues
I think I’m way too much for you.
A silver plate and French dessert, picking off the residue,
I swear, in another lifetime,
I was also deeply in love with you

But I am a crazy girl,
I am truly wild.
Everywhere that I go, they collect some kind of files
They say the weirdest things about me, and it’s never made sense.
I wanted to be the most trustworthy person,
But I’m not very good at making friends.

And this makes me sad.
And I want you to help me not feel bad.
But if that’s too much for you,
Then that makes my suspicions true.

Poem: Baddd girlfrienddd (continued)

I am so used to being too much,
But never enough
Never enough.
I am so used to being far too much,
But never enough
Never enough.

My hair is gently tied with a beautiful pink ribbon
He thinks that I did things that I didn’t.
I’ve always wanted to be someone that people could trust
But if I cleaned a window,
He would still just see arachnids and dust

And that was a bad line; I’m not a very good poet. It’s one of my insecurities,
Though I hope I don’t show it.
But this is a mess,
The fabric between our asymmetrical beds.
I don’t even know where I feel the best laying my head.
I have duvet covers in different area codes and these apartments that don’t even belong to me
But I wanna belong to somebody
And I want them to take care of me.
And I want them to not be so scared of me.

Poem: Baddd girlfrienddd (continued)

So now I’m crying on the freeway, writing this using voice-to-text
And I think I’m beautiful, but well aware that he’ll forget
And I wanna be taken care of properly, like my dad would admire
And I want to be given flowers, like my mother would appreciate

But I am the common denominator,
The problem at hand.
And I just want somebody who can understand
That I wanna be trustworthy to the point where you believe I didn’t do it
So, if I set this place on fire,
Are you gonna give me a hard time about it?
Or try your best to see me get through it

Poem: Baddd girlfrienddd (continued)

Watch me
Dancing
Laughing
Crying
Soaking
Rainfall
Open
Windshield
Broken
I fell in love with you three times
I sat and sobbed in the shower, thirty-nine

Or are you going to laugh with me?
Because it is inherently funny
That we carved this life together

I’m aware I appear as a rotten tomato that ruins the rest of the vine,
But someday someone will trust that I’m good on the inside

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Poem: To be known, to be everything

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Poem: To be known, to be everything

Two days until I leave for Chicago
With my pink-to-white ombre nails, I feel so
Sophisticated
Like a secret garden
Like I don’t miss him whenever he’s not in my presence

I danced in my car, feeling joy, on the way to my shift
At the hospital
Where I prayed for every patient, the group of us had to exit the elevator for
Due to urgency
Some kind of crisis
It’s so lovely when family members come to visit
Though sometimes they don’t

Continued: To be known, to be everything

When I was helping my mother with her stretches,
I almost teared up at her fragility
The softest, smoothest skin, like a baby’s
If you wore a blindfold, you wouldn’t know her to be an adult woman
But she feels the weight of her age in her muscles and her bones
I feel so selfish to leave
But I know she’s so proud of me

I think in exchange for me being emotionally blunted for years
Lately, I feel absolutely everything all the time
I practice being mindful
While running my hands over daisies
Holding them like they’re precious
Like they’re frail and one day will die

Continued; To be known, to be everything

When I was helping my mother with her stretches,
I became hyper-aware that she’s frail
And although I always say she’s so strong that I’m likely to die first
One of my greatest talents is in accepting
Truths and possibilities that really hurt

If you put a blindfold over my eyes,
And guided me to touch my mother’s skin
I’d bet all of my money that the mysterious material is a baby

One that you never hear crying

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Love poem: Angelic spine

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Love poem: Angelic spine

Angelic
Vicious
Future physician
Painting spiderwebs in your kitchen
Emotionally flat
But so consistent
Best of the best
Couldn’t get any better than you wished it

When you’re with me, you’re possessed
And I’m not afraid of becoming obsessive
Lip gloss all over the glass
You’re calling my landline
Cos I’ve given you enough incentive
Now you’re touching my spine
Noticing where the bones don’t really make sense
And we laugh like the weight of a crowd
Blanket over our eyes, not making a sound.

Love poem: Angelic spine [continued]

You were born in the same month
As my father
And I’m kind of sick of
Not being your official lover

Angelic
Vicious
Future physician
Eating vegan lentil soup you made for me in your kitchen
I love your five cats
And your cynical wisdom
And when I look up to you,
I see the sky as well
Blanketing you in confetti
Astral projections and snow that falls heavy
I’m taking my time; we’re going steady
Fragrant lullabies pass the time
I don’t care, and I don’t mind

But I paint spiderwebs in your kitchen to trap you
Right there
So that when I come to feed
You’ll be blissfully spared

Angelic and vicious
I mean, who am I kidding
I love your five cats
And your cynical wisdom

How you always kiss me first

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Poem: Pigeon-blue and staining through

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Poem: Pigeon-blue and staining through

I cut the chrysanthemum flowers, and you ruffle through my drawers
Pigeon blue and staining through
You cut your losses
Roll over onto the pink duvet cover
You look beautiful on my bed
Like you just got out of the shower
Like you’ll finally let me hold you
Sweet dreams for a nap
You can have it like that
Autumn is approaching soon, and your eyes are sparkling brown
I’m going to find their distinct shade in the leaves of the fall
Up to heaven’s gate, we can have it all
I think you have somebody to call

Evenings
Frostbite
The way we fight
Like water holding the boat afloat
Like your friends and everyone else you know
Stay here in the shade with rare sun rays reaching your chest and shedding light
You need something bright
Something that fits you
To keep up with your wild attention span
That pays itself its dues

You, my boy that lies beside me
Neutral palette, got it down
I love when you take me around town
It’s nice when the evenings come around

Your loss

Love poem: Sun-kissed

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Love poem: Sun-kissed

Everything is sun-kissed because there’s a glow in the sky
Cos I don’t have the patience to write an entire album about just one guy
Can you feel me clinging to your new clothes?
Before you insert yourself inside of them
Taint the black
Tar-boiled trap
Tell me you like the sound of my name
Lie to me all over again
I ain’t writing an album about just one guy
Held in importance but forgotten in spirit
I’ve got to keep living

Aren’t you getting emotional?
About it

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