I don’t want to put my cards all over the table Though I’m dying to show you what’s true How real this significance is My significant other
Sitting on my lily pad You know I’m the only one that can get you to relax Move in slow motion I’m heavenly reserved & I know you don’t do these things on purpose But the caffeine in this Earl Grey tea It’s making me nervous I know you don’t do it on purpose
Swaying with myself in my bedroom I can be violent if you turn the heat up No longer desperate to be enough I’ve got a sweetness concave within me A fruit I only bear to those that can hold it Tight
Pushing all my buttons Convincing myself I kind of love it Have I shown you what’s at the bottom of the sea? Underneath all the make-believe
I don’t want to have to ask if you missed me! I’m getting run over by the same train over and over again My eyes close when I drive & I don’t even mind Collect my cigarettes in an empty coke can Police on a motorcycle Firearms in my trunk No longer desperate to be enough I keep trying to make it to the bottom of the sea But something pulls me back above I want you to drown with me If you do Make sure I drown too
Don’t read into my words Don’t touch me softly, then make it hurt A one-way ticket to my favourite Chicago Transit Authority stop Where I am free to walk around I don’t need bells and whistles I need the fogginess to stop
A rose that blooms On repeat A rose that blooms On repeat A rose that blooms When I sleep A rose that blooms On repeat
I want you to drown with me When I get off my Lily pad
You know I stopped myself before I could love you But We broke apart And I can’t help but stare At your blank, sad face And the only thing sad about it Is that you’re not afraid to let me go You’re not afraid to let
I tried to wake up But I’m always on the wrong side of the bed We never got to have that night in the hotel We never got to have that heavenly first dance The first and the last pages don’t make me too sad It’s the way the world turns Your fingers latched on Not very tight Like a blouse that’s unloosened A foggy memory that never becomes clear
I’m trying to relive the skyscrapers and unraveling chaos Though all that comes to mind in abstract vision and delusion, Is you screaming in my direction Telling me to stop Telling me to stop Telling me to stop
What makes you so afraid To show love to an unloved person The way you play guitar It makes me so sad It makes me so sad Not for anything do you feel bad Like grey, fallen embers on a cold winter night Even though you’d say you’d never Be there for me Your sovereignty Your power
And I remember you Telling me to stop Telling me to stop Telling me to Telling me to stop
Feeling the things that only I do The distance that separates me from jagged, carbon you In ocean waves, we grasp at what feels familiar What’s underneath us will quench our thirst Yours, preferably Mine, isn’t regarded Unless it’s four in the afternoon & the sun is piercing your nerves Telling you that these antics are your last fatal curse I’m far removed To tell you the truth I do only the things the boldest among us do
I don’t wait until there’s nothing left to take In the distance between your brown eyes And these soft, fallen embers of Victorian blue Crawl back Crawl back Panic attack Mesh and in pieces Forgive me for grieving
All ends in love, and love has its reasons Come find me Come find me Come find me Come find me
It’s so unnerving Like an earthquake on purpose It’s so delectable Like you’ve lost your ability to reason
I’m always portrayed as the one who leaves the throne Gown is disheveled, porcelain skin intact Like an earthquake on purpose Telling me to stop
Feeling the things that only I do What has become of rage has given its way to you
This is a free verse poem about attachment and detachment – defeat on behalf of simplicity’s sake.
I didn’t expect myself to still feel like this And my mother laughs because it’s only been a few days But I feel like it’s dragging on It’s dragging on And we didn’t even come to the conclusion of what would become our song So what am I here to do Sitting in the corner of the modern, moss-green, vibrantly street-lit café, A damsel in despondency, A variation of your favourite four-course strings A broken-down parlor path with a shiny diamond entryway and glass slippers lining the blizzard-sinking ships, That match my cruelty My taste for rabid tongue The whispers I wouldn’t let you utter And the hesitation you’d be lucky to never have suffered
Portrait of Princess Tatyana Yusupova (1850) by Franz Xaver Winterhalter, oil on canvas
A chance for melancholia to clash with the force of nature To detract from a foreign film A lost, aching still An avalanche of surprise Beguiled by sheer imagination and phosphorescent icing
That smothers a kingdom like the holiest ghost Always bittersweet to the liking Made for sharp, pristine vengeance
Sans Titre (Untitled) 115 by Eliane L. Guerin, oil on canvas
In my own reserved portrait of solitude Gazing vibrantly at the majestic cars that drive by The classics, the tragic The ancient and recumbent Reoccurring in stunning ways I could not even think to properly illuminate in due time Typing Silently Wishing you were next to me Smiling The way you do The way you do So magnificent Eyes glimmering in concave and crimson, blue God, I was this close to being obsessed with you
I feel like A teenager An angry one A bitter fool Mad at myself because I brushed away the The fleeting thoughts of nah, he won’t like me if I say that Nah, he won’t like me if I wear that Nah
The Bath (1874) by Alfred Emile Leopold Stevens, oil on canvas
I’m moving in circles because I forgot how to dance I forgot how to feel alive I trip over my own words Everything is in disarray I thought you were going I thought you were going I thought you were going to make it work I thought you were I thought you were I thought you were going to make it work with me I thought you were I so thought you would have Made it work with me And that would be Meaningful Hopeful Spontaneously planned Crimson and clover all over Soft rubber bands
Now you’ve got me in a pit and you Hung up on me I threw my cellular device on the street I don’t want to talk to anybody Anybody at all Anybody at all Anybody at all Anybody at all
I’m not writing another poem about a boy that doesn’t have the strength to come Tell me it’s not working Stand there in your clandestine flesh Stand there, giving me a real piece of yourself Look at me with dandelions in my hair
Mending the Gown (early 20th century) by Adolphe Borie (1877-1934), oil on canvas, figurative artwork
Don’t say I’m too charming for you Tell me I’m too alarming for you Tell me I scare the living daylights out of you
And you’ve got other girls calling you Answer the phone in front of me Take the flowers out of my hair Push me down on the tar-stained sidewalk Bully me like you do on your bad days Get your way
That’s how I want you to leave me
Not like Not like Not like Not like Not like Not like Not like Not like
Open Air Interior Barcelona (1892) by Ramon Casos i Carbo, oil on canvas
Live in modest obscurity Classic California beach living Sunglasses, shades, Maseratis, fast cars, soda pop A life that has been glamorized Or so I had hypothesized He wouldn’t even be reading in between my lines Too busy thinking about himself all the time
Perhaps a few motels overlooking the coast Empty parking lots Paint a vision for yourself Soft ice cream in all good health Said you were sober, had liquor on the top shelf Honey, I thought you loved yourself
Ladies, you know me for my diamonds I’ll show you everything sparkly that’s designer That girl you once knew, you’re right behind her To enjoy the high life without mascara on To come to rise with the evening sun To know how to really know someone Stay omnipresent – hot, wild, and young Like every morning, a new life has just begun Dark spaces for dark traces of ice-cold skeletons Bones only fit like fragments Do what you’re told Let your dream love life in front of you start to unfold
Everything in the right order Everything in the right order Everything all the same Everything all the same
Lying between last quarter and new moon I figured when we’d talk, we would be with each other soon There are words on my body, on yours – video game cartoons You never meant to express how little I meant to you
I started noticing in conversation When the focus was on us, you lacked elation I quit my work for you, I gave up waiting I became so exhausted not living, but waiting I tried to show you I was patient You hate yourself like you’re tainted Letting of go of the dream that one day you and I would make it
Now I’m in the doorway, sort of half-naked I’m alone, but I’m tranquil, and nothing you do will change it
I’m alone but I’m tranquil Nothing you do will change it
Essence of a modern girl I promise if I fall in love with you, I’ll give you the whole world Stars and spaceships are what I’m made of My high ballet bun is your favourite I sit on the hoods of F-150s and smoke your last pack of menthols You miss hearing me speak? Pick up the phone, and then call I’m softer this time, I’m breaking out of these cell walls I climb the stairs to the roof, close my eyes, and then fall
I taste like strawberries You like me already I’m getting afraid of when I have to tell you the ending It’s painful on purpose It’s an accident you found me I think there’s a way we can do this real sweetly And I see your wisdom and kindness in every strong tree You have my warmest regards, you’re now protected by me Benevolence is my new form of safety Gentle reminders that I can live carefree
Real love is heavenly Real love is meant to be Real love is white roses and a cup of Earl Grey tea And I had the growing feeling that it just wasn’t meant for me I sing real softly I can’t stop coughing I want for you and me to do all these things with honesty The honeymoon period, the vividness of novelty I live a sincere life of literature and botany But I have these things, they’ve really been haunting me I hate to digress I do it unconsciously
I don’t want to lie to myself It hurts my self-esteem, it affects my health I’ve got this adorable greeting card on my bookshelf I’m saving it for a month’s anniversary with my future boy I want to celebrate every minute Scatter patience and joy Erase the mold the last two years has made on my delicate bones Unwavering I’m caving in And I don’t even expect to be loved in return
Trace your skeleton at night Kiss you twice, hold you tight If you have me by your side, you will always be alright Best girlfriend of the year I eat lunch alone, right here Maybe you could sit down with me and tell me all your biggest fears
I feel love inside me I spread it everywhere When’s the last time you looked at someone and really felt that they cared?
I’ll sit right beside you I promise I’ll be right there If you can’t see your grandeur, I’ll make you aware
For such a small person, I have so much to share I’ll sit right beside you I’ll be right there
