The things I see, the things I love
Love poem: Sensitive girl
My father taught me how to shoot
Oh, he sure did, he taught me real well
But I’m a very sensitive girl
What would I really do if I was in front of you?
I don’t think I’d pull the trigger
I would most likely let you.
Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions)
Rose petals with lime in my hot coffee
Author’s alterations, metasomatism beneath my bedsheets
Making changes to my will because I will outlive my instruments & garments
I’m the most proper fit, and I laugh to myself
Because nobody else thinks it to be true
Playing in the garden all night long
If you’re made of arachidonic acid, you’re still not essential to me
Accelerated depreciation is like using plastic
So casual for you
The cavity where I reside is not accepting visitation
Though you can leave the fleurs and baguettes at the doorstep
Can I be a princess for once, please?
Can someone naturally want to take care of me?
Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions) [continued]
My abdomen is covered in spears
I don’t know where they came from
He found it addicting, and I chose not to feel bad, because I settled for a freedom that involved both him and me
I’m stored in the nacelle, and you’re a half-decent engineer
Who works so much he loses sight of
The real thing
When it’s engaging in self-piercing
Damaging increments
Fingernails painted dusty pink
I feel a permanent wholesome vacancy
A vacant office
A vacant smile
A vacant estate
A vacant room
A vacant seat on a bus
A vacant throne
A disengaged observer
Sometimes I wish you would just look at me
Stare at me so I would feel like I was really living, here.
Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions) [continued]
An abandoned factory
An abandoned field
An abandoned vehicle
An abandoned baby
I was left to fall into a state of disuse
And then I had to pick myself up
Here we are, I’m staring at Chicago on the plane’s seat live screen map, and I want to cry, because it’s screaming out at me
“You need to get rid of everything so that I can consume you in full”
Nobody can love you so much to the point that you can’t leave
This is everything and all that you want
To the point where a low-quality live map brings tears to my turning-dark-green eyes
Straightforward without reserve, my advocacy for my well-being
Openhearted and honest with my eternal sin
That I’m falling more and more in love with
I want what’s favorable
I accept what makes me want to sink, not just mine, but all of the ships
Things highly unpleasant to me are advantageous to the attitude I want to cultivate
Impartial to how we couldn’t quite relate
Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions) [continued]
I’ve got dandelions in my hair
The right guy won’t blow my wishes out
A commendatory view of my well-calculated decision and unruly spirit
I appreciate it all
The astronomical pitfalls
Everything is beautiful to me
If it wasn’t, I would not have stayed around here
Poem: Four thoughts (Chicago dandelions) [continued]
Sweet and angelic of you, a stranger said
Looked at me with the admiration the last few lacked
In a Duty Free store
I learned to be safe in my own skin
Complimentary to my own skeleton
Dandelions in my hair
The right guy won’t blow my wishes out
She was always four thoughts ahead of everyone else
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Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone
Let me suffocate the circles that you run around me
A motorcycle drives by, and I wonder the weight that he carries
I knew truly that you were not in true love with me, but I chose to believe it anyway
Inconveniently
Like a little make-believe game that I didn’t even play as a child
Because it didn’t make sense then
And it doesn’t make sense now,
So why am I the one to make you drown?
Why am I the one that’s alone in the crowd
Unparalleled at the playground swing that’s there for one
When there are three others around
Ravens on my flight deck
The nape of my neck
The archives of my shoulders
My aching back
I thought it was so sweet
I thought it was so sweet.
Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)
I almost lost my space
My place in the assembly line
Coming back to the neighbourhood that I reside in,
And the flowers were all dried up
And they’re bad for the dogs to eat because they cannot be digested in their stomach.
That proceeds to their smooth intestinal lining
And the rest of an organism that I think I am compatible with
Daisies in my hair
Forever speaking to nothing
Blank stares from the cashier
If I made an impression on you,
That wasn’t my responsibility.
I think I should make impressions on more people, actually
It makes me sad how that’s not the case
I spend all my free time traversing ocean waves
Inhaling the sunshine’s rays
Lavender light and alkaline water
Pastel perfection and beloved highlighters
Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)
So I stare at marbles all day long
Find my previous favourite songs
In the car driving through a wrathful fire, I am singing along
Drowning and swimming
Drowning and swimming
I thought it was so sweet
Wanted to hear it on repeat
Drawing and mourning
Grieving and growing
My grandmother isn’t going to make it
I was her favourite
Like the softest sweater you’ve ever put on
That you can’t afford
Life is heartbreaking
Lives aren’t worth taking
Patients in comas write love letters to their loved ones
I watch the current fall back onto itself
Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)
But we were treading water in the abyss and
The fish looked so surreal
Like abstract paintings
The waterfall came rushing
I breathed in so deeply
I inhaled the fumes of the daisies in my hair
You were nowhere to be found
And so I found myself
Comfortable at last
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Poem: Twirling in my nightgown
Ivory evening gown, parchment paper thick
I had all my notebooks – there, sprawled out
You took the venom out of me
Inhaled it so smoothly
Inhabited your own internal cavity void
I said, hello
I thought that, we were having fun?
You were collecting the ends of my smoked cigarettes
Cos you like the tar
Cos you like that, that’s all you are
Spinning in a web not suited for your own self-depreciating destruction
I was on holiday
Although, I do, admit
I get a little bit obsessed
Stepping out into the rain & noticing all the new cobwebs
You’re so, calculated, in a way that’s so mean
Worst part is you believe in being a human being
Arrogant honey, how do you get it so wrong
Can you see me twirling in my nightgown
I light up the city streets with the way I get down
Uninvited from the palace
My darling, take your coat
Poem: Twirling in my nightgown (continued)
I swim in baby blues; I sing in the shower real loud
Monday morning, skin is pale, I am ready for everything
It tires you to pieces,
Tears you to shreds
The way you’d play your electric guitar &
I noticed it was the exact same sound
Repeating
Unchanging
Have I ever been so bored with regret
I thought you and I would be perfect in a garden shed
But by the time we got there, all the flowers were dead.
Poem: Twirling in my nightgown (continued)
I thought, sweet honey, how are you so in tune with
Things that don’t make sense to anyone else
But so out of touch
With reality,
And a girl who’s made of real flesh
I said, pretty baby, you’re made of pure mercury
I’ve never seen your ribcage
Not the way your back muscles look
Which is fine, too
No photographs to collect in my scrapbook
My stark cold baby, how can you be so obscene
Trying to get in and out of escaping everything.
Poem: Twirling in my nightgown (continued)
I’d put out my cigarettes on your balcony
And you’d save them in a crystal jar
Are they still there, pretty baby
I’d take you back if you had been more nice to me
Asphalt and a flourishing society
My marine ecosystem is too vast for you
Stay where you’re safe
Sweet baby, don’t drown
I both found and left you in the lost & found
Twirling in my nightgown
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Poem: Anarchy is fun; you should try it
I am like Thumbelina
But I don’t quite fit anywhere
Two devout Russian Orthodox women are going to a NATO-ruled country to buy the world’s finest, pristine porcelain to throw it at indoor walls
The best poison was made
In my father’s grave
And I love him for forever hating the country I live in
