Tag: beauty

Love poem: Perfectly real (really perfect)

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Love poem: Perfectly real (really perfect)

Suddenly
The impetus is on me
To be perfect, so perfect, for you again
Satin & lavender bedsheets
Fresh clothes from the dryer
Neurons that synapse when the clock resets

But I can’t
Withstand
Dissonance
I can’t
Bear to
Live with regret
I can’t
Break free from
This tangled fishnet
The wire digging its claws directly into my spine

Disengagement when separated
Disregarded how you said maybe
Perhaps it’s my own agenda that
I failed to write out in black ink
My own handwriting looks foreign to me
The flowers in my apartment have finished dying
I closed the curtains, but someone is waiting
To see me burn out like I’ve been on fire this whole time

Carving my name into my solitude
Changing the location of a confined venue
I don’t like this dress
Don’t like how I look in it
Want you to tell me I inspire you to stop playing make-believe
Wish you would bring me roses & be gentle with me
Not let me lose any more sleep

I’m not really writing
I’m scared of defining
How lazy I’ve gotten at building my self-esteem
The ships are all sinking
The pilot keeps blinking
& the leftovers have spoiled because real things are only real in real time

So I hit “unsend”
Spend the afternoon in my garden
Playing with my own hair, saying your name to myself

I can’t even ask you
What you meant when you said nothing
Because I know myself to get in the way of what could be

I’ll trace my ashes
In long cylinder glasses
Faking a proof-of-concept of a girl who takes pride in the way she carries herself

Now I’m scared of writing
Because I don’t like what I see
And that holds far too much meaning to me

I’m sick of trying
To act like I haven’t been
Crying myself to sleep

Tell me I’m perfect
Say that you missed me
Step into my four-chambered studio where the pianos lack keys
& the guitars have no strings
We can dissolve into anything we want life to be

Tell me you missed me
Without lying to me
Tell me I’m perfect
Because you can see how I dream
Tell me you loved how
I didn’t seem desperate
To find in my own self what you’ve found in yours

I’ll rearrange my bedroom
Work on shifting my patterns
So that the stillness in your settings can bleed into me

Tell me I’m perfect
Without lying to me
Reach for me when I’m drowning
In my make-believe sea
Allow me to realize there’s more to let go of
More in life to make sense of
More in this life to see

When you’ve regained stability
Found blue-green lakes filled with clarity
Then, you can come back to me

I’ll be in my garden
Telling myself
That I don’t have to be perfect to be something real

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Poem: June lullaby

distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: June lullaby

Your eyes started to sink
Melt into the sky
And I could feel my heart
Contract and deflate
In one single rhythm

I’ve become your divine
Your little trinket, your device
Would you feed on my bare ribs straight
Out of my chest
My blessing to you
I bow down and say
Any piece of me is forever occupied

Maybe that’s all there is to this life
I think that I have finally tasted it all
If you could give me one last breath
I’ll save it for myself

Like a blanket
I’ll cover you
I’ll hide you from vapid, rapid snowstorms
Give you rain boots for muddy water
Comfort you, always
Forget you, never
Let my love be just one of the multitude of things you know about this world

June is the month
Of strawberries
Baby’s first words
Holding you tight

One last breath
To keep for myself
I’ll save it until I most need it, which right now isn’t the right time

When I next see you
Because, I will see you
If Heaven still owes me that grace
In return for the ones sent there that knew me well

I’ll keep you
For myself
Feed on your rib cage
Trace your little steps

June was so cruel to me

By: Elle Silvestrov

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Love poem: Red t shirt

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Love poem: Red t shirt

Drawing soft pink porcelain dolls
Make every word of yours important
If you’re speaking with purpose
The chaos in this dark room
It makes me nervous
But when I’m touching you
Like peach pink amphetamines
You push something onto me that makes me breathe

For a second there
For just a minute
I lost my breath

For just a second there
For quite a minute
I’ve become oblivious

I get excited for a hot second
Come out with guns blazing
So self-aware, peach pit
You like the way I serenade you
Dance around you in top-secret chambers
Untold, leaving it untold
Don’t get anything for free
Write whatever I want
It’s my heart, I forgot
It’s my heart, I forgot
You make me soft

Put some Salsa on and I’ll show you my moves
What I keep in my medicine cabinet
I’m made of Cabernet red
I’ll drink you in three sips
Balsamic vinaigrette
Anything that rhymes with your safety net
I’m lying by the pool
God I feel so cool
Looking at you
Cabernet red

I’m kicking and screaming
I don’t want you to spend the night
Yeah, I’ll be alright
I’m kicking and screaming
Introverted
I don’t want you to stay the night
I’m kicking and screaming
Introverted
Red t shirt

You don’t make me nervous
I have these soft lips
Amphetamines for fingertips
Intoxicating, isn’t it

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Poem: That’s what’s up

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Poem: That’s what’s up

I need moral support
You’re all so boring
I’m smoking a cigarette in the apartment
Light pink slippers
The room turns to melting frost

I need to make a choice
You’re all so lonely
I’m smoking a cigarette in the backyard
Bamboo curtains
Disheveled in appearance but on trial on time

Serving our community
Driving with my eyes closed
An avalanche and beat-down neighborhood where funeral homes are sold
I love him but he won’t bear arms
So how can he protect me
If you can send me a silver lining
Tell my father I’m tired of waking up and fighting
Won’t you inspire me
FedEx me your venom through an umbilical cord

Dandelion and Baby’s Breath
They crowd around me
Tear out my hair
Laugh at the angles of my bones
The fog terrifies me
Though I’m so aware
I’ll crumble if I’m not composed

Even if I’m brittle
I’ll stay up for a little

I met a girl named Isabel
Passed me an ashtray in her jet black corvette
Ambiguous
Butterflies
For how long
For how much longer
Dad, how much longer do I have
How much longer do I have to keep doing this

Just to get home
Just to get home
Closing my left eye to see straight
She had gold silverware in her jet black corvette
Told me her boy was frustrating her because he always forgets

Took the wrong exit off the freeway
Ended up in a ditch
Peace was there
Waiting for me
Nobody stopped to ask what I was doing
If you want miracles, I’m living proof of it

Plain charcoal grey t shirt
I want to write the kind of poetry that scares boys away
The right one will see me for my diamonds and my smoke screens
A bridge gently collapsing
Laying down next to a fountain

I don’t go to parties
Because the people tend to bore me
They stand in circles and ask each other “what’s up?”

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Poem: Drowning

distantcaveLeave a comment

Poem: Drowning

Minnesota in the hot, hot sun
I’ll write a memoir, like I’m a film star
Like my words are fiber nectar & galvanized tar
I wish I could join the assembly line
Not to find out, not to decay, but to come out bright white & crystal, grey clay
To become transparent in the grand scheme of things
Be able to extrapolate meaning from my own devices
Tell you how I find human beings so lifeless
Wrapped up in their due process of mind
Fingertips on roses, your hands on the arched back that is mine
Fever dreams
Amphetamines

I know the road is farther than it seems
I’ve seen the bitter resemblance of what’s paved underneath
My eyes blur, I can’t see, I can’t see a thing
Wouldn’t you like to have a dance with refined me?
I’m mesmerized by nothing at all
Nobody pays attention to what I want them to pay attention to
I’m violent, I got this, I’m gutless, I’m thinner than the fabric
Screaming my insides out, I’ll eat you alive
Won’t find me on your bedside
You said, you said
You said, you said
Your goodbyes so hazily
Tell me, how do you wish to be portrayed?
When they paint you wrong, are you dismayed?
What are you proud to take to the grave?
I’m taking the dreams I made

I have this one song, I get a lot of meaning from it
The way it blankets me in security and
A freedom I’ve never found in a single human being
They’re tar-stained, they’re charcoal remnants
They’ll gaslight you and then say that you’re gaslighting them in return
The apprehension is near, I told you the car was far away
I didn’t see it coming my way
Somehow I didn’t mind
I had this dream, I saw the glass-slipper ball gown
The one I wore when
You said, I swore, you said
You said, I swore it, I swore you said
Wouldn’t be there
Star-crossed lovers
Awake with hesitation
Marvel at my presentation
Scattered in assembly, grief like parasites
Do you know anyone who sees you in the right & softest light?

I’m thinner than fabric, I’m tougher than fossil fuels
If it’s confusing, it’s only confusing to you
Me – I know what’s going on
Write you a grocery list of things to bring
A sustainable sparkle, a delicate sapphire
An element of surprise to add to the details and decor
Horrors of society seem to fade when we turn the television on

Melt me like aspartame in Coca Cola
Ignite a funeral home
Tell me what you find transparent
Covered in frost, I’m not vaguely processed
I’m rarely understood and I think I know why
I think this life is mine to apprehend and find
I lose my keys over and over again on purpose
Locked out so I can write
But I thought you said, I thought you said
But I thought you said, I thought you said

I have this one song that makes me feel more like myself than anything else
I play it on repeat because I’m sick of hearing about my diminishing health
Drown out the noise, fiber-glass, can’t see, my vision blurs
The ocean is my lord & savior
I’m not even surprised by their behavior
The evidence is real because it’s written on parchment paper

It always ends
It always ends like this
I’m in the shower, white roses and pink carnations, I feel true bliss
You’d be obsolete
In a thousand years
We’re connected by the fabric
The sheer and hazy stillness
Do it on the daily
Hate you a little, just maybe
Match my evening glow

If you hate me, that’s not a well thought-out decision
You have your fears and I have this one song
That makes me feel more like myself than I’ve ever felt before
And I play it
I play it all day long
When the noise drowns me out, I sing along
You wouldn’t say, you wouldn’t say
Anything to conclude the grime and the dirt you brought to my doorstep
A cave’s internal diameter
A concave, arching sky
The exact shade of your brown eyes
My skin is softest on the tops of my thighs

I don’t hate anyone
I don’t hate anything
I don’t hate anyone
There’s just nothing left to sink
Drowning in the deep end because in the water I’m completely occupying my body
I don’t hate anyone
I don’t hate anything
I’ll let the water have me, on purpose, on purpose

Does drowning make you nervous?
Does real love make you hesitate?

Does drowning make you nervous?
Does real love make you hesitate?
Does drowning make you hesitate?

Does real love make you nervous?

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