To be creative, you need to be able to respond to pain.
I read the news as I wait for the train CTA baby, ask me out I’ll say maybe I’m in need of something refreshing Something to soothe me Coax me out of this identity Let me relive the past but only the brilliance of it Please don’t send me back there Not the facility I can’t give up my tranquility That appears only when the atmosphere fades to black My insecurities are under attack Hold on babe someone’s on the other line, wait for me, I’ll be right back
Since the dawn of time I can’t even remember that far ago I like it in Wisconsin when I look out the window at the mounds of snow I give you a kiss on the shoulder and you don’t have to say you love me, I just know You did it again You made my day Took the somber right out of me Molded me like clay I think I’m going to be okay
I think I’m going to be okay I think I’m going to be okay I think I’m going to be okay I think I’m going to be okay
Life Is sweet, or whatever baby My roses aren’t growing and your car’s not in my parking lot I’m flowing like hot boiling water– crashing, pour me another cup, slowly in your ceramic mug over your chamomile tea bags I’m soft like, all the time Not ready to make you mine Let the L-theanine take me to space I like it this way Me, making the rules But I don’t want all of the responsibility So I roll over and I see you What you making for breakfast, hun I put on my blue satin robe and walk to the kitchen See you on the phone there, so I won’t disturb Pour my arms around you like you’re the softest bedsheets I’m buying at Bloomingdales
Hidden targets Embedded formats
You love my perfume Stretch your tanned neck to smell mine Hey wrap around me, I think you’re pretty divine
Teaching me stick shift with my eyes closed
You notice my salmon pink nails Make fun of me for being a diva Buy me the best ashy grey graphite for my sketches Of wedding dresses and gowns And torn down queens For me to take to town See who’ll buy (I get mean)
You’ll be smoking cigarettes nearby I’m so proud to say that you’re my guy I tell people for no reason at all But I’m trying to be realistic
I’m really trying to keep my love in Not shower you, like I might I know you keep telling me it’s alright I’m filled with so much love, I want to throw it out Into the grave distance, see if it will run wild You and I, we both need a break, we need to get out Take breaks from falling like a bumble bee Bring me coffee from that coffee shop you hate You’re adapting to me
And that scares me That scares me Camera flashes Fine finances Swim deep into the vast open sea But let’s go, take a trip to Nebraska or Kansas I’ll wear white cowboy boots, get in your 4 by 4 My crystal cove Coca Cola babe You can’t hurt me yet You can’t hurt me yet You can’t hurt me yet You can’t hurt me yet
I haven’t lost myself yet But I’m seeing it in you No, don’t hurt me yet Don’t hurt me yet You can’t hurt me yet You can’t- You can’t- Please don’t hurt me yet
Poem: Stone cold and sober See you in the Southern states
I want An indoor swimming pool My bills paid To keep staying sober because I think it’s making me stronger Credit card declined because I used the wrong one You feeding me teaspoons of sugar Things that will never happen Yet I’m hesitant to hopelessly give up to abandon Resentment dialing up 7 digits on your face To the lost and fallen I’m a disgrace Fade into black, hold my soft embrace I’m worth the chase Play you like a maze My enchanted garden, swimming pools for eternity, Hail Mary Hail Jesus Rest on my soft bed, little Bambi I’m like sour and sweet candy Sour and sweet candy
If the sky and the moon weren’t best friends, Do you think we’d still like them? I’m like your parasite I feed and I feed off of you Drawing in coloring books next to you Going outside the lines You pinch me I’m a doll A wound-up character Always late for school Not one of the skateboarders so I don’t seem cool The librarian says I rule
Working the late-night shift My boss tells me I’m simultaneously the best and the worst of all humankind I can get behind that I’m wild like that Solve your prayers like it’s my job Poetry books on my bedside table One day I’ll publish when I’m skilled and able I’m too busy for cable Nobody’s trustworthy, nothing I can throw your way The crystals unfreeze in May My Venus is in Virgo, so my love life is a crisis I no longer pay attention to men Just count hundred dollar bills Monopoly money Come to bed, sweet honey We’ll talk when we’re older
When we’re older We’ll talk when we’re older Stone-cold and sober
We’ll reminisce the good old days for eternity For eternity
Wash my soft, graceful face with rosewater He never told anybody but I know I was his favorite daughter We weren’t the kind to shop in departments Me and my collages, alone in my apartment The brick wall where I hung your vinyl cover That I took on polaroid In the Spring
Every birthday of mine is spent at a rose garden Didn’t catch your last insult, I beg your pardon? I’m decaying slowly Can everyone tell? A marine biologist Tall, and bright in his field Who only owns one plastic shell He says the real things – they never actually sell A set of crucifixes, medium-well You cheat on your wife, your friends never tell
I’d never depart
I loved to love you; you loved to be loved by me
I remember when.
Keepsakes
My engagement ring
Beloved thing
Almost died, how beautiful of a Spring
I love diamonds, yes I do
The shine, the glamour
Reminds me of somebody I think about being
But have no route to that sort of life
See the deep amber skies
Can’t ever tell if people are saying hello or their final goodbyes
I’ve got the most beautiful green eyes
But a boy never told me that
And I don’t ever expect one to
I just read about it in the novels
Jane Austen, Aldous Huxley
Mansfield Park, Charlotte Bronte
Things fall apart
Oh yeah
Things
Fall
Apart
In the mirror, I look so strange
Most scathing dissection of the hollowness
That American society barely trembles on
Dystopian but generic
I hate to speak out loud
Hate that irreversible girl sound
Hypnotic, devastating
Tell me I’m hopelessly divine!
I think I lost my tablet –
The great tragedy of our time!
I picked out my children’s names
Then decided to never conceive
Unless my husband said please
Chest to ground, down on his knees
When my lost love proposed to me I had one beautiful engagement ring Later that season He said goodbye to me I sold it for free
We shall part like the sea As if it was ever to be I would’ve died happily
I would’ve died gratefully
I would have died fulfilled and free
The lost art of caring for me
The exploitation of the poor Corrupt bourgeois world Expose a naive sentiment that I had Never mind Contemporary jazz Classical music A 12-tone scale causing near riots with its subject matter I believe in this country I believe in running away I believe in the promise of escape
I’m starting my own revolution I told you already! By hiding underneath my pillow and my pink and grey blankets So annoyed when people spell it gray Some words are Intended for purely practical ends Not film Not photography captions Not instagram stories Disquietude Dear god I hope I find you You’re missing in places I didn’t know were part of me My heart’s not broken I’m just wired to see The bad things you think about me
If I was a feline I’d prance on top of your work desk And mess all of your papers up Wagging my tail like I don’t even know who you are Or how much this deliberate organizational chaos means to you I’d knock your desktop computer over To me, what is it? Every object is some type of toy 2-3 sugars, you decide, 1-1.5 inches of soy That’s my degree-holding original barista boy
I just wanted your attention Is it sad to admit that? Like I’m writing in dingbats I have things to say! Let me have my way! I’ll rescind to that
Never let me have my caveats And I’m at fault for that Learned my lessons tit for tat
But the world doesn’t turn like that I’ve got to wake myself up Splash water in my face Get a real fucking taste For what’s to come
For what’s to come Cross my hearts, subtract my sum I’m an American alumn I’m the worst that’s to come
