Category: Pink

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate)

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate)

Angel wings, soft graphite
I’ve got this new leash on life
A bench post that I, chill at, beneath the sun
I’ll tell you everything I know about the people that
I’ve never met in person
I’ve yet to see the sidewalk blossom
Though I believe it to be possible
A fawn in a garden
An encyclopedia of your expressions
You picked me at the right time, and I’ll show you exactly how and why

Monrovia boulevard, hit a truck and left a sticker
How hospitable
Of me in my rather formal attire
A ballroom gown for our afternoon at the coffee shop
You tell me I’m so glamorous
Let me know you think I know it, too
I laugh like I’m tossing marbles and we’re
Little kids running
From the porch
To the garden

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]

I say things that don’t make any sense at all
And you smile because you just understand
You get why grey skies make me feel like
Watching thunderstorms from my bedside window
You get why I’m so scared of heights, but I want nothing more than to fall off skyscrapers
It looks fun to me
It feels nice to think
A freedom I can’t paint
Paper I can’t afford
From the store with the caution tape that you wrap me up in
I’ll bite

You have houseplants and I like that
Tending to something without wanting more from it in return
Down to Earth, high and dry, the mailbox was bent and broken
Like someone had knocked it over
I was vacillating between fixing something with my bare hands and coming across as an intruder
Polite political statements
You left dandelions for me on the hood of my car
I think you and I are something I would like to take part of

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]

You touch my teeth
I collect twigs for the front of your door
Discussing orientation of lenses and why people never end up treating you the way you would think
I try my best (starting today) not to analyze so,
But chaos is a burning structure of loss
With you having a favourite brand of dental floss
You’re awfully loyal to.

You are a wave made out of rain and when your current reaches me
I disappear underwater and discover parts of myself I believed to be missing
Thinking I could benefit from being more forgiving
As long as I held on tightly to myself
I found you on the shore, sitting on your surfboard, and you told me it was a curse to see so much
With Baby’s Breath and seaweed in my hair, I laid my head on your right broad shoulder
Believing it to be worth it
Invariably

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]

Eighteen captured photographs on film
Of me – pathetic, alive, detailed
In sudden gaps I see again my personal agency
And how if you’ll come with me

Butterflies will sign documents
Stating they no longer want such short lifespans

Help support my website & keep the dream alive! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Love poem: Forever holds onto me

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem: Forever holds onto me

I was holding onto you
I was holding onto you
There was nothing I could do
There was nothing I could do
But only to know that I’d forever be helplessly in love with you

My best, world’s best, memories
Were me with fingertips
And the silly little way you walked
My starlight, my noble gas
My everything and all I could give inside one celestial collapse
I find it impossible
How one could not look
At your precious face for the last time
You were right there
You would always be mine

Love poem: Forever holds onto me (continued)

I was holding onto you
There was nothing they could do
I said keep trying, keep moving
I was so not done being with you
Every time
You looked at me
Is laid like concrete in my memory
There was nothing they could do
And I said, well, keep trying
There is no fucking way the love of my life is dying

I cry in the shower
Feel like screaming at grocery stores
Because you aren’t, in my bed, of course
I’m happy
It happened
So fast

Otherwise
I don’t think
I would last

And you and I both knew, I couldn’t die before you

Love poem: Forever holds onto me (continued)

I was holding on
With my bare arms
Holding you like a baby
Comforting you like a blanket
There was nothing more they could do
They promised and I believe them

You and I both know, I could not have died before you
Now, it’s nearing May
Dear God, what am I to do

This time last year,
I still had you.

Donate to my PayPal and help keep this website alive! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Love poem: Ivory white, dark pants

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem: Ivory white, dark pants

Soft shoulder of the exit ramp
Sweet cream silk, ivory white velvet dream
Sitting and smoking with you on the fire escape
We look at the horizon
Our eyes like they’ve been set on fire
Keeping quiet to not create commotion on the 18th floor

Move lightly like a ghost
That haunts me the most
Pure daylight, fresh berries, blueberry soy milkshake for two
Freeze me in the frozen section
I will come back alive
To haunt you like in the horror thrillers they do

My voice gets high-pitched
When I talk to you on the telephone
In the evenings

My voice gets high-pitched
Cos I’m excited when you call me on the telephone
In the evenings

Love poem: Ivory white, dark pants (continued)

Sweet cream silk, ivory white velvet dream
Pour raspberry sauce on vegan soy ice cream
I have you, in a soft yellow light
I wouldn’t find hospitable for my academia
Though, your brown eyes, light up like fresh veins
And I take hold of your upright shoulders

On purpose
By habit
A fragrant
Flower
My doorstep
Your dark pants

Love poem: Ivory white, dark pants (continued)

Sweet cream silk sweater for your ivory white velvet dream
We move like feathers, but our names have been etched into stone
First, middle, and last
First, middle, and last
Holding my breath
Writing on your cast

First, middle, and last
The most perfect fire escape
I’d smoke next to you every day

Donate to my PayPal and keep my website alive! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Love poem: Fell back in love with me

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself

I am, a dandelion that’s losing its ligules
A dandelion on the street
Stepped on, on repeat – bracing the wind, but falling apart
Missing my roots
Crying because I won’t be in a vehicle with my father ever again
But the koala-grey sidewalk embraces me like its only friend

Gasping, breaking, compact but fragile – for eternity
Not asking anyone to save me
Because rap songs taught me that’s commonly dismissed
Neglected and disposed of
(Why am I so delicate?)
I breathe it and I love it, but God please help me, I’m exasperated
I wear my orthodox cross like it’s the most expensive diamond given to a queen
Nobody ever suspects a thing

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself (continued)

A guy once bought me, the most beautiful fiddle leaf fig tree
That I picked out, of course
Girl knows her houseplants
My bedroom lacked the sunshine to keep my baby alive
I wept on the floor staring at its fallen brown pieces
Feeling like I was one of them
Breaking for eternity
Shrivelling up and no longer green, but serene
I swallow the ground whole with my desire to love more than I ever have before
Time, and time, again.

You know, a girl, who truly loves flowers
Never “gets used” to receiving them
Each time is special, savoured, like those commercials with women and chocolate
I stop walking every few feet to capture a flower
One day, a boy said to me, “do you have to stop every time”
That was the end of him and I
Of course, I do
That’s what happens when you’re in love with white, pink, red, yellow, and blue
The colours dash through your mind when you’re not scrolling on your phone
Remembering the hydrangeas from Venice Beach
The sunset blooms at the rose garden at the museum where you spent your birthday in your own solid company
Breaking in composite structures
Swallowing the rose petals on the ground

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself (continued)

The dandelions on the street
Say something on repeat

They love me, they live through me
They engulf quite the vast part of me
And every piece of their frail self that flies away with the breeze
Becomes deeply embedded within me
And I love it, like cotton
I roll it, like marbles
If I’m ever, forgotten

I hope botany never is

Love poem: Fell back in love with myself (continued)

I know a girl
That will never “get used” to flowers
So endlessly abundant but single-handedly make this life worth it

They love me, they love me
They live right through me
I walk on the concrete
Looking for myself

Donate to my PayPal and let me buy myself fresh flowers! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Love poem: Asleep (daylight)

distantcaveLeave a comment

Love poem: Asleep (daylight)

We were watching King of the Hill
And oh my God, I miss your laugh
The gleam in your off-shadow hazel eyes
I want it to come right back
I wish we could go back in time to having everything
That was really all I wanted
You- I will never know, the records you don’t share with company
The places you go when you fall sleep

I wanted, to lay down my study materials
On your teenage-flannel-style twin bed
My God, I miss the whiteboard on your wall
Reading all the strange things you write in your childlike handwriting
I felt reserved over a handful minus one of four nights
Held them damn near so close I would get tongue-tied, just trying to make conversation with a cashier at the grocery store

Behind my eyes, blinking – in time-lapse frames
Your smile like a diamond without that discomforting glare
You were my centrepiece, and I was quiet as a soft stone, and I liked that
Not yet realizing how far-fetched it was of a thought that I could keep you
Where you are
And be there, too
(Just a thought)

Love poem: Asleep (daylight) [continued]

Oh my God, you swallowed me whole
I looked forward to the weekend like I never had in my teenage years
All I ever did back then, was dance around my living room like I had friends
You widened my gaze and we created our own place
Where teenage-flannel for a thirty-something was awfully inviting and I
Never cared or considered that you weren’t romantic
My God, I loved being with you
Like I was of no importance
You took centre stage and you painted me a grave
It looked just like it does in the magazines

You went down, so far down
There was no way to follow you
I would have, if I could have
Was not under the impression that a few bad days would turn into half a decade
Panic attacks because I couldn’t reach down and grab you
Shake you, wake you
Get you out of this rancid, deeply isolating dream
Say something like, hey,
(maybe this is really nothing)

It wouldn’t have helped
Because my wishes were far-fetched

Love poem: Asleep (daylight) [continued]

But to this day, I don’t know if you’ll make it
To be like what you created
When you first said hello to me,
“So, um, who are you?”
So, so, so, so, so in love with you
(Are you kidding me?)

Fresh piece of pastel paint
It’s archaic – the cinema is
I remember, we were watching a movie
I got so scared
You made fun of me with distant disposition and cruelty
In that split second, I developed this pit in my stomach
That you no longer were capable of comforting me
Whatever pulled me towards you in the beginning, was not based on effort
The film was playing, and I felt like crying
Crawled to the kitchen and wanted to crawl out of the window
So terrified of what had become of a bruised reality

Image generated for me using DALL-E by Erik Huerta (@Erikismissing on Instagram)

Love poem: Asleep (daylight) [continued]

Can never get right, on paper
The hypnotic daze that expands in my most cherished memories
“So, um, who are you?”
So attached to that phrase
Teenage-minded girl
Hopeful in a self-defeating mannerism
It leads me to wonder
It keeps me awake

What if it was a dream?
What if it was all fake?
Best Cabernet Sauvignon I’ve ever had in my life
I could have slept for days

We were watching our favourite show
And oh my God, I miss your laugh
Waking up to you, hiding from daylight
Should have ripped off the curtains and made you face it

Love poem: Asleep (daylight) [continued]

Please
Come back
To this life

There is
A girl
Who cares

But I can’t come down
That far
To meet you
Where you sleep

In shallow pools, I still grieve
There is nobody to wake me

Donate to my PayPal and help me keep this website alive! paypal.me/LilacDoveCA