Poem: Ash blonde hair on smooth, pale skin

I don’t want to lie to you
I’m not that way, I don’t do that
You’re made of vengeance, I don’t unfold when I’m sad
Trust me when I say I wanted this so bad
It hit me like icing
Rotten glaciers
Terrified me, left me anxious
You kept count when we exchanged favours
But you’re at zero, and I was only a replacement

Within the rosebud,
I find my own hypnotic sentiment
My own catastrophic, magnificent scene
Tell me you’ll believe my secrets are true
Because honey –
I could never lie to you
In an effort to be honest,
Though you already forgot it
I’m more the kind of girl you remember until the end

The morning sun has got me feeling some type of way
I rehearse in my head, the convergent things I once could say
I wanted to celebrate with you in May
But I came clean –
I told you God made me this way.
Lilacs in the garden,
Birch branches, my god
The warm sunshine told me something I kept repeating in my mind
If you need to do it for yourself, you have to leave this man behind
(Keeping us strong, for the longest time I tried)
I can’t do this differently, I made a promise to the sky
I’m leaving empty-handed,
Though renewed and drip-dry

I sit on the cobblestone and find it hard to believe
That I’m packing my things, finally opting to leave
As this detriment took hold of my darkest fears
It took me quite possibly four thousand years
And you’re not the type to show your tears
That’s part one of why I had to go
I’m leaving it somewhere here, so you can know
Basic things to want, a natural, golden glow
(I’m old-fashioned –
I want compassion)
I want love that’s not inherently tragic
That makes this parting not the saddest
I want someone to look at me like I’m magic

(Please don’t become angry)

Leave flowers on my grave
Say sorry for your ways
Try your best to behave
Think of me in this way

Ash blonde hair on smooth, pale skin
Finds it kind of funny when she happens to sin
Sees everything for what it is
No matter how bad, finds it hard not to reminisce
Took several months to figure out the lies
Took several more to finalize a goodbye
Writes in prose for nobody in particular to read
At home in the snow, but quite fond of the heat
Got the song I used to send you on repeat

I can finally listen to its loveliness again
It doesn’t hurt anymore like it did back then
I capitalize on the meaning, listen until the end
It doesn’t hurt anymore like it did back then

I’m more the kind of girl you remember until the end
It doesn’t hurt anymore like it did back then
As much as I’d like to inform you, I won’t click send

Because honey –
I could never lie to you
I’m the kind of girl you remember until the end

Poem: Ash blonde hair on smooth, pale skin