At my expense

My imagination takes me to dark places in the world
I’m too stubborn to run away
And I know nobody will come with me
I rid of all my expectations

You said love and beauty cannot coexist with analysis
But you don’t know the things I think of you
When you swim laps and I admire you
Luxury like a dripping rose
God can’t help me

I put your Cubs cap back on
And search for defects in you
Because it cannot be true
I’m banging my head, I’m so sick of you
I like you

Secrecy and solitude
Come kiss me in the closet
Try on your best white button-down
You teach me how to tie a tie
I keep getting it wrong because I’m weak

Saturdays with you
Watching how much your cat adores you
She’s practically floored by you
There must be something about you
I look away

I know it’s irrational
For me to open myself up to love again

So I keep practicing how to tie a tie
So one day I can kiss you goodbye