Poem: Dreaming away your life

Orange tangerines
I want your anger
You’re going to get her
Any girl you want
Your charm you find so easy to flaunt
We’re standing on Lake & Vermont, waiting lazily
Hazily
For the crisp white of the little man on the stoplight
Telling us to
Hurry
Go faster
You got this
Move past her
She’s beneath you, it seems
Every Friday she rips apart at the seems
So stupid to cause such a scene
You look the other direction, you’re mine

You’re mine
You’re mine
In two’s, in three’s
At three hundred degrees
I want, to feel real, with you
Happily
Wearing tweed
You play violin
I don’t know what to think, so I stay quiet
Quiet

I’m scared to stay around here
I don’t know if my impulsiveness is triggered by you or me
Remember Frankford & Lamonte
Maybe when your arms were around me you had a thought to yourself somewhere along the lines of wanting to be my lover
Or was it for another?
I only take in one of your aspects at a time to protect myself
From
That word like ice cold doves
A thousand times over because we’re under the weather
I stole your favorite sweater
Wear it at night to cloth me in something that rhymes with
Ice cold dove
Sitting on the balcony
My Marlboros, don’t get mad this time
Me and you are drinking wine
In twenty minutes I will be just fine
Whisper you’re mine, you’re mine


Like the hibiscus on the passenger side
Like when everything turned baby blue and I decided to hide
Never come alive
It’s not tragic, it’s just
It’s just
It

We’re happy, we’re rolling around like a little girl’s dolls
I like that bank printer font on your iPhone screen front
Saw me when I was polishing the storefront
Where I sell books for people who are merchants from Venice
Something like – forget it
Don’t sweat it

A thousand times over because’s we’re under the weather
I stole your favourite sweater
Wear it at night to cloth me in something that rhymes with
Ice cold dove
Sitting on the balcony
My Marlboros, don’t get mad this time
I’m sweet and smoky like rosemary & wild thyme
See you in the summertime

Ice cold dove
Sitting on the balcony
My Newports, don’t get mad this time
Sweet cherry & lime

Ice cold dove
Sitting on the balcony

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Poem: Je vous demande pardon, Saint Père.

I’m having a breakthrough, I beg your pardon
Pay attention to me, lying in the garden
I’m spiraling down to a place you don’t want to be
So I won’t take you with me
But that means you can’t be around me

You look at me, softly
In your warm brown eyes I see my reflection
Your pupils get bigger because you like me
I’m trying to say this calmly
I can’t be with you
Anymore
You’ve hurt me over and over again before
You’re a ball of rage, I’m crying on the floor
It feels like poison is in my veins
Decapitates me
Drives me insane
You pour a drink, like normality is restored
I swear, I wonder, do you do this ’cause you’re bored?
‘Cause you lost your mother, the only woman you adored?

I’m having a breakthrough, I beg your pardon


I’m scared to touch you because when I do it feels like lightning
Like crystal showers, throwing rocks in the lake
You’re thirty-four, I’m bringing out birthday cake
Trembling so quietly you can’t see me shake
Trembling because I’m afraid of you
Terrified of the things I’d do for you
Sacrifice my being just to sleep next to you
Softly
Gracefully
Like a porcelain doll
But you’re driving me insane and I can’t seem to shout any louder because I know the neighbors can hear us fighting at night
Evening delight
Pour me some cabernet Sauvignon
Start the evening off right
Because we both know what will happen when off goes the light
I’m terrified


So far apart from you I’m drowning
Get up, can’t breathe, sleep the rest of the day
Don’t want to think about it
Don’t want to feel these things
Like something is crawling over every inch of my body
You? You’re making Earl Grey tea
But the water won’t boil fast enough
And you can’t take it anymore
You grab the cooling kettle
Splash the hot contents on me
I think back to ’95, that sweet old fern

But we’ve been here before
Have I learned?
Why of course
Don’t use ice, or iced water
If the burn covers a large portion of your body, don’t submerge yourself in cool water
I know these things already
But I do it anyway
In the ice cold shower I see my burns unravel
Counting back from one hundred, only way to distract
You’re in the bedroom, getting all packed
I know you’re going for business
I know you won’t be back
I’m in the shower having a panic attack

I know you’re going for business
You’re a ball of rage, I’m crying on the floor
Crying on the floor
Crying on the floor
You ignore me, avoid me, you’re out the door

But you’re driving me insane and I can’t shout any louder because the neighbors know that I’m

alone.


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Poem: Like a sad party

Poem: Like a sad party

Like a sad party
You kiss me twice
One time per cheek
Our future’s bleak
We made it to Nebraska, now we’re headed for Tennessee
So many things left to see
I’m glad I haven’t passed away
Soft sleep, thank the Lord for this day
All you have to do is pray

In this city of sin
I’m vain and glamorous
With curves, though I’m naturally thin
Drown my ice cube tears in gin
The wallpaper paint ripples inbetween

The staircase where you wrote your mother a letter
Told her you’re on medication, told her that you’re getting better
I’m curled up in your black sweater
A bit under the weather
But happy as a meteor shower in January
When we all go to the docks just to watch
You kiss me twice, I laugh a lot
Grinning ear to ear
You’re the best, my dear
The best of your kind
When you make it and make millions, please don’t leave this world behind
The fame
The fortune
It can’t replace what we have
Nothing’s more important than that
And for some reason that makes me sad

sea, wave, nature

Come with me
Follow me down into the garden
The snowflake grass, the eastern cottonwood tree
The swing set that 8 years ago my father built for me
See we’re as bright as can be
Tell me this

Why do I feel so lonely?
Like a sad party

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Poem: How to free oneself

Poem: How to free oneself

You are
My worst nightmare
A walking case of amphetamines
Blocking numbers on my cell phone
Like milk and honey
Break my covenant
No data, out of range
Small grimace, you’re in pain
Find me standing by myself in the rain

drip, rain, drops

Grapefruit at the beach
Watching the waves, the people
Laughing admirably at their loved ones
I suck the sour nature out of this fruit
I climb on top of the stairs
Let my beautiful long blonde hair blow in the wind
My hair down like you like it
I’m a bat so I work the night shift
Ask about my love life, I’ll say how about it
Stolen glances while we speak
Walking case of amphetamines

girl, blonde, portrait

I always think about running in front of the cars
My favorite brand of trunks to do me over
Will I appear on the news?
Will you be haunted by my torn flesh?
An abscess on your leg, give you a cold compress
Put on lip gloss and my tight black dress
You know I’ve always been a mess
But this is nothing like before
I want revenge, and then I want more
You went from handsome to a brutal eyesore
And you’re a bore

moon, star, space

A walking case of amphetamines
I say, damn, you look good in those black jeans
Almost felt your lips when in the doorway I stood in-between
I find sailing serene
You know I won’t go out with a man who fishes
The music gets heavy, my finger twitches
Back spasms
Micro cosmos
Planets attacking other planets
You slip inside a snow globe
I slip into my lush pink bathrobe
Watch the roses outside, they’re white and they grow
Laying on the couch with you is so mellow

sea, waves, groynes

But I have to resist
I already said no
I’m a weak woman and that I know
I’m not proud of myself
Monsters on my bookshelf
Lied to you when I said you’re the best

Walking case of amphetamines
But baby all you really are is a downer
Went swimming with your new girlfriend, I drowned her
Real women don’t apologize

Walking case of amphetamines
I smiled real wide when I drowned her

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Poem: Brand new, morning dew

Brand new, morning dew

You
You just accept
That we could’ve been the best
That you and I are worlds apart
I can’t forget the rest
You, wearing blue
I walk away from you
I hate telling you the truth
I’m sober and so full of you

white rose, flower, dew

Me
Here
Waiting a long time for the train
Sipping my cappuccino in the rain
Wishing I could start again
Brand new
Morning dew
Confiscate the worst words from you
That you throw in my direction
The police break down our door for an inspection
They try to take what’s the best of us
They can’t take this away from us
I’m everything you wanted and more
And more, and more, and more
I’m everything you wanted and more

Walking to the market
You in my favorite boy outfit
White t-shirt and black jeans
The sky today feels serene
You’re in a bad mood, you get mean
Sudden hospitality
Animosity towards those who aren’t us
We chain ourselves into a box
False pretense that we’re free

But thank god it’s you and me
Thank god it’s you and me

But thank god it’s you and me
Thank god it’s you and me

While the others live tragically, it’s still you and me

shirt, white shirt, monochrome

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