Poem: Flammable girl in a perfect world

Poem: Flammable girl in a perfect world

I hope when you think of me, you picture a
Stunning ballerina twirling around fever dreams
& made up things
Extrapolating conversations we have had
To much bigger situations
I live inside my head
Constantly create
& sometimes hope follows delusion
Into the most magnificent cave,
I do agree, this is the perfect recipe for heartbreak
While I am only getting stronger,
There’s only so much more that I can take

So I keep bouncing off the walls
The audience soaks it in
They love it all
Never a compliment in the paper
That’s where you come in
And to no one’s surprise at all
That’s the trap I fell in

Poem: Flammable girl in a perfect world [continued]

I fell in on purpose
Oh my goodness, I loved it
You made me so nervous
Holding my breath, I hated it

I wanted to show you my life
Share everything with you
I wanted to show you my life
Everything I said was true

But not from you
And to no one’s surprise at all
That was the trap I fell in
I wanted to seek comfort
In something that was melting
The entire mansion was on fire
I happily stayed inside
These are my own choices
This is exactly why I’ve cried

Poem: Flammable girl in a perfect world [continued]

I wanted to show you my life
The entire mansion was on fire
Nothing’s more beautiful than a girl in flames
I think it’s time I stop believing this is fun and games

Listening to you say my name
Listening to you say my name
Listening to you say my name
Everything is more beautiful when it’s up in flames
I was so happy to stay
Everything is more beautiful when it’s up in flames
But when the fun is over,
All you’re staring at is just decay

I own, manage, & write all on my website by myself — so I would highly appreciate a donation! Thank you so much in advance for helping me keep the dream alive. https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Poem: Ant colony (birthday balloons)

Poem: Ant colony (birthday balloons)

Nuclear envelopes
A testable hypothesis
Will you still love me if I –
Will you drown me out
Like the noise in a soundproof room
He always said he’d like to go to solitary confinement just to get away
For a honeymoon

Light leaks
Asparagine and leucine
Convoluted sighs and my pink floor-length satin dress
Eating three times on Mondays,
Eating four times, the day after
Consuming enough carbohydrates to be like a plant
A prisoner in your gardener
A wide-awake blooming orchid
Couch that fell from a truck bed onto the motorway
We could just make it ours
Watch the fires and fireflies swarm in the distance
Devouring apricots
A routine for my bedtime

Poem: Ant colony (birthday balloons) [continued]

Letting go of lethargic tendencies
But I don’t have the energy
I’m miserable, with or without you
Have to be the writer of my own memoir, the heroine in my own maladaptive daydreams
That serve me quite well
Like soft serve by the beach
Made from plant-based oat milk & Oreos
I’ll let the sea and the sun and the sky devour me, so I can merge with the ants and
Worry only about my colony
What a dream it’s becoming

Empty head
Empty thoughts
Your Percocet
My writer’s block
I’ve been too, afraid, to put this down on paper
A typewriter with no keys
Hands that swell
Knees that bleed
I know perfectly well
That I’m who you need
Will you be there for me, in the daylight and the evenings?
My handsome prince
Tread carefully
I’m exactly who I aspire to be

Poem: Ant colony (birthday balloons) [continued]

I believe in myself, most of all
Though, the cognitive dissonance gets swept like ashes
At a fireplace
Melting, blurring a reality that you swore was three-dimensional
You vase of a porcelain starlit galaxy
You atmospheric void, claustrophobic from your own apprehension
I’m so in love with every part of you
Especially the pieces you really disdain

I’ll take them in my hands
Like the softest of sand

Poem: Ant colony (birthday balloons) [continued]

I don’t know what to do with all these birthday balloons
The vinyl you bought me, thank you, by the way
You precious thing.
And the things I have to move on from
Tangled in grief-ridden spiderwebs
Merging through lanes with my blinker forever on
I follow all the laws
When the crows are watching, carefully

I’ll let the sea and the sun and the sky devour me, so I can merge with the ants and
Worry only about my colony
What a dream it’s becoming

Please donate to support my website & my work! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA