The things I see, the things I love
Love poem: Sensitive girl
My father taught me how to shoot
Oh, he sure did, he taught me real well
But I’m a very sensitive girl
What would I really do if I was in front of you?
I don’t think I’d pull the trigger
I would most likely let you.
Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling)
Can I show you what I think about
Daisies and marigolds and merry-go-rounds
When you’re stuck in the inner confines of your mind
I want to be one of the things that makes you unwind
I’ve been missing appointments
Surrounded by a terror I can’t seem to escape from
If there was a human being
Who could look into the pupils of my eyes
Tell me exactly how much incoming light
I’m receiving from the night sky
Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]
I feel like a fossil, that has not yet been found
Wound up tight beneath the ground
Screaming my lungs out
As it is expected,
No audible sound
Flowers grow around the outside of my ivory thighs
I don’t dare pick them
Like the fresh cut flowers my mother gets me from the local grocery store
If I could lay beside you
On a bed of grass, I’m not allergic to
Tell you that I’ve been feeling, this way
Would it change
The course of things
I’m in love with diamond rings
Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]
Doesn’t take much time to listen
But people are so busy
Everyone’s so lonely and they work so hard to distract themselves from this
But if you and I could sit in your garage
Count all the beautiful spiders
Give them names that we’ve picked out
For kids, we don’t know when or if we’ll have
Somewhere there is a boy that
Doesn’t ask me to take my glasses off
Actually finds them kind of hot
The aspartame in my can of coke will disassemble
Transform into a novel molecule
Inside my microbiome
Travel to my brain
Tell me there is both acceptable and unacceptable pain
Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]
I think I am a princess
But I’m not locked in no castle
I live with a beautiful strawberry garden
That the snails keep on stealing
They’re small and they’re fragile
And I’m a home-maker
I want to be the dandelion
You waste your breath on
I’ll let you take it all from me
On the brink of insanity
Because with my own kindness I’m quite pleased
I think I am a princess
For the right guy to look at my pupils
Tell me how much light is coming in from the night sky
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Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone
Let me suffocate the circles that you run around me
A motorcycle drives by, and I wonder the weight that he carries
I knew truly that you were not in true love with me, but I chose to believe it anyway
Inconveniently
Like a little make-believe game that I didn’t even play as a child
Because it didn’t make sense then
And it doesn’t make sense now,
So why am I the one to make you drown?
Why am I the one that’s alone in the crowd
Unparalleled at the playground swing that’s there for one
When there are three others around
Ravens on my flight deck
The nape of my neck
The archives of my shoulders
My aching back
I thought it was so sweet
I thought it was so sweet.
Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)
I almost lost my space
My place in the assembly line
Coming back to the neighbourhood that I reside in,
And the flowers were all dried up
And they’re bad for the dogs to eat because they cannot be digested in their stomach.
That proceeds to their smooth intestinal lining
And the rest of an organism that I think I am compatible with
Daisies in my hair
Forever speaking to nothing
Blank stares from the cashier
If I made an impression on you,
That wasn’t my responsibility.
I think I should make impressions on more people, actually
It makes me sad how that’s not the case
I spend all my free time traversing ocean waves
Inhaling the sunshine’s rays
Lavender light and alkaline water
Pastel perfection and beloved highlighters
Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)
So I stare at marbles all day long
Find my previous favourite songs
In the car driving through a wrathful fire, I am singing along
Drowning and swimming
Drowning and swimming
I thought it was so sweet
Wanted to hear it on repeat
Drawing and mourning
Grieving and growing
My grandmother isn’t going to make it
I was her favourite
Like the softest sweater you’ve ever put on
That you can’t afford
Life is heartbreaking
Lives aren’t worth taking
Patients in comas write love letters to their loved ones
I watch the current fall back onto itself
Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)
But we were treading water in the abyss and
The fish looked so surreal
Like abstract paintings
The waterfall came rushing
I breathed in so deeply
I inhaled the fumes of the daisies in my hair
You were nowhere to be found
And so I found myself
Comfortable at last
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Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate)
Angel wings, soft graphite
I’ve got this new leash on life
A bench post that I, chill at, beneath the sun
I’ll tell you everything I know about the people that
I’ve never met in person
I’ve yet to see the sidewalk blossom
Though I believe it to be possible
A fawn in a garden
An encyclopedia of your expressions
You picked me at the right time, and I’ll show you exactly how and why
Monrovia boulevard, hit a truck and left a sticker
How hospitable
Of me in my rather formal attire
A ballroom gown for our afternoon at the coffee shop
You tell me I’m so glamorous
Let me know you think I know it, too
I laugh like I’m tossing marbles and we’re
Little kids running
From the porch
To the garden
Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]
I say things that don’t make any sense at all
And you smile because you just understand
You get why grey skies make me feel like
Watching thunderstorms from my bedside window
You get why I’m so scared of heights, but I want nothing more than to fall off skyscrapers
It looks fun to me
It feels nice to think
A freedom I can’t paint
Paper I can’t afford
From the store with the caution tape that you wrap me up in
I’ll bite
You have houseplants and I like that
Tending to something without wanting more from it in return
Down to Earth, high and dry, the mailbox was bent and broken
Like someone had knocked it over
I was vacillating between fixing something with my bare hands and coming across as an intruder
Polite political statements
You left dandelions for me on the hood of my car
I think you and I are something I would like to take part of
Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]
You touch my teeth
I collect twigs for the front of your door
Discussing orientation of lenses and why people never end up treating you the way you would think
I try my best (starting today) not to analyze so,
But chaos is a burning structure of loss
With you having a favourite brand of dental floss
You’re awfully loyal to.
You are a wave made out of rain and when your current reaches me
I disappear underwater and discover parts of myself I believed to be missing
Thinking I could benefit from being more forgiving
As long as I held on tightly to myself
I found you on the shore, sitting on your surfboard, and you told me it was a curse to see so much
With Baby’s Breath and seaweed in my hair, I laid my head on your right broad shoulder
Believing it to be worth it
Invariably
Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]
Eighteen captured photographs on film
Of me – pathetic, alive, detailed
In sudden gaps I see again my personal agency
And how if you’ll come with me
Butterflies will sign documents
Stating they no longer want such short lifespans
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Poem: Twirling in my nightgown
Ivory evening gown, parchment paper thick
I had all my notebooks – there, sprawled out
You took the venom out of me
Inhaled it so smoothly
Inhabited your own internal cavity void
I said, hello
I thought that, we were having fun?
You were collecting the ends of my smoked cigarettes
Cos you like the tar
Cos you like that, that’s all you are
Spinning in a web not suited for your own self-depreciating destruction
I was on holiday
Although, I do, admit
I get a little bit obsessed
Stepping out into the rain & noticing all the new cobwebs
You’re so, calculated, in a way that’s so mean
Worst part is you believe in being a human being
Arrogant honey, how do you get it so wrong
Can you see me twirling in my nightgown
I light up the city streets with the way I get down
Uninvited from the palace
My darling, take your coat
Poem: Twirling in my nightgown (continued)
I swim in baby blues; I sing in the shower real loud
Monday morning, skin is pale, I am ready for everything
It tires you to pieces,
Tears you to shreds
The way you’d play your electric guitar &
I noticed it was the exact same sound
Repeating
Unchanging
Have I ever been so bored with regret
I thought you and I would be perfect in a garden shed
But by the time we got there, all the flowers were dead.
Poem: Twirling in my nightgown (continued)
I thought, sweet honey, how are you so in tune with
Things that don’t make sense to anyone else
But so out of touch
With reality,
And a girl who’s made of real flesh
I said, pretty baby, you’re made of pure mercury
I’ve never seen your ribcage
Not the way your back muscles look
Which is fine, too
No photographs to collect in my scrapbook
My stark cold baby, how can you be so obscene
Trying to get in and out of escaping everything.
Poem: Twirling in my nightgown (continued)
I’d put out my cigarettes on your balcony
And you’d save them in a crystal jar
Are they still there, pretty baby
I’d take you back if you had been more nice to me
Asphalt and a flourishing society
My marine ecosystem is too vast for you
Stay where you’re safe
Sweet baby, don’t drown
I both found and left you in the lost & found
Twirling in my nightgown
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