Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling)

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling)

Can I show you what I think about
Daisies and marigolds and merry-go-rounds
When you’re stuck in the inner confines of your mind
I want to be one of the things that makes you unwind

I’ve been missing appointments
Surrounded by a terror I can’t seem to escape from
If there was a human being
Who could look into the pupils of my eyes
Tell me exactly how much incoming light
I’m receiving from the night sky

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]

I feel like a fossil, that has not yet been found
Wound up tight beneath the ground
Screaming my lungs out
As it is expected,
No audible sound

Flowers grow around the outside of my ivory thighs
I don’t dare pick them
Like the fresh cut flowers my mother gets me from the local grocery store
If I could lay beside you
On a bed of grass, I’m not allergic to
Tell you that I’ve been feeling, this way
Would it change
The course of things
I’m in love with diamond rings

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]

Doesn’t take much time to listen
But people are so busy
Everyone’s so lonely and they work so hard to distract themselves from this
But if you and I could sit in your garage
Count all the beautiful spiders
Give them names that we’ve picked out
For kids, we don’t know when or if we’ll have

Somewhere there is a boy that
Doesn’t ask me to take my glasses off
Actually finds them kind of hot
The aspartame in my can of coke will disassemble
Transform into a novel molecule
Inside my microbiome
Travel to my brain
Tell me there is both acceptable and unacceptable pain

Love poem: Acceptable pain, ivory thighs (sparkling) [continued]

I think I am a princess
But I’m not locked in no castle
I live with a beautiful strawberry garden
That the snails keep on stealing
They’re small and they’re fragile
And I’m a home-maker
I want to be the dandelion
You waste your breath on

I’ll let you take it all from me
On the brink of insanity
Because with my own kindness I’m quite pleased

I think I am a princess
For the right guy to look at my pupils
Tell me how much light is coming in from the night sky

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Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone

Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone

Let me suffocate the circles that you run around me

A motorcycle drives by, and I wonder the weight that he carries
I knew truly that you were not in true love with me, but I chose to believe it anyway
Inconveniently
Like a little make-believe game that I didn’t even play as a child
Because it didn’t make sense then
And it doesn’t make sense now,
So why am I the one to make you drown?
Why am I the one that’s alone in the crowd
Unparalleled at the playground swing that’s there for one
When there are three others around

Ravens on my flight deck
The nape of my neck
The archives of my shoulders
My aching back
I thought it was so sweet
I thought it was so sweet.

Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)

I almost lost my space
My place in the assembly line
Coming back to the neighbourhood that I reside in,
And the flowers were all dried up
And they’re bad for the dogs to eat because they cannot be digested in their stomach.
That proceeds to their smooth intestinal lining
And the rest of an organism that I think I am compatible with
Daisies in my hair
Forever speaking to nothing
Blank stares from the cashier

If I made an impression on you,
That wasn’t my responsibility.
I think I should make impressions on more people, actually
It makes me sad how that’s not the case
I spend all my free time traversing ocean waves
Inhaling the sunshine’s rays
Lavender light and alkaline water
Pastel perfection and beloved highlighters

Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)

So I stare at marbles all day long
Find my previous favourite songs
In the car driving through a wrathful fire, I am singing along
Drowning and swimming
Drowning and swimming
I thought it was so sweet
Wanted to hear it on repeat

Drawing and mourning
Grieving and growing
My grandmother isn’t going to make it
I was her favourite
Like the softest sweater you’ve ever put on
That you can’t afford
Life is heartbreaking
Lives aren’t worth taking
Patients in comas write love letters to their loved ones
I watch the current fall back onto itself

Poem: Methyl vinyl ketone (continued)

But we were treading water in the abyss and
The fish looked so surreal
Like abstract paintings
The waterfall came rushing
I breathed in so deeply

I inhaled the fumes of the daisies in my hair
You were nowhere to be found
And so I found myself

Comfortable at last

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Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate)

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate)

Angel wings, soft graphite
I’ve got this new leash on life
A bench post that I, chill at, beneath the sun
I’ll tell you everything I know about the people that
I’ve never met in person
I’ve yet to see the sidewalk blossom
Though I believe it to be possible
A fawn in a garden
An encyclopedia of your expressions
You picked me at the right time, and I’ll show you exactly how and why

Monrovia boulevard, hit a truck and left a sticker
How hospitable
Of me in my rather formal attire
A ballroom gown for our afternoon at the coffee shop
You tell me I’m so glamorous
Let me know you think I know it, too
I laugh like I’m tossing marbles and we’re
Little kids running
From the porch
To the garden

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]

I say things that don’t make any sense at all
And you smile because you just understand
You get why grey skies make me feel like
Watching thunderstorms from my bedside window
You get why I’m so scared of heights, but I want nothing more than to fall off skyscrapers
It looks fun to me
It feels nice to think
A freedom I can’t paint
Paper I can’t afford
From the store with the caution tape that you wrap me up in
I’ll bite

You have houseplants and I like that
Tending to something without wanting more from it in return
Down to Earth, high and dry, the mailbox was bent and broken
Like someone had knocked it over
I was vacillating between fixing something with my bare hands and coming across as an intruder
Polite political statements
You left dandelions for me on the hood of my car
I think you and I are something I would like to take part of

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]

You touch my teeth
I collect twigs for the front of your door
Discussing orientation of lenses and why people never end up treating you the way you would think
I try my best (starting today) not to analyze so,
But chaos is a burning structure of loss
With you having a favourite brand of dental floss
You’re awfully loyal to.

You are a wave made out of rain and when your current reaches me
I disappear underwater and discover parts of myself I believed to be missing
Thinking I could benefit from being more forgiving
As long as I held on tightly to myself
I found you on the shore, sitting on your surfboard, and you told me it was a curse to see so much
With Baby’s Breath and seaweed in my hair, I laid my head on your right broad shoulder
Believing it to be worth it
Invariably

Love poem: Grey sky lifespans (delicate) [continued]

Eighteen captured photographs on film
Of me – pathetic, alive, detailed
In sudden gaps I see again my personal agency
And how if you’ll come with me

Butterflies will sign documents
Stating they no longer want such short lifespans

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Poem: Twirling in my nightgown

Poem: Twirling in my nightgown

Ivory evening gown, parchment paper thick
I had all my notebooks – there, sprawled out
You took the venom out of me
Inhaled it so smoothly
Inhabited your own internal cavity void
I said, hello
I thought that, we were having fun?
You were collecting the ends of my smoked cigarettes
Cos you like the tar
Cos you like that, that’s all you are
Spinning in a web not suited for your own self-depreciating destruction
I was on holiday

Although, I do, admit
I get a little bit obsessed
Stepping out into the rain & noticing all the new cobwebs
You’re so, calculated, in a way that’s so mean
Worst part is you believe in being a human being
Arrogant honey, how do you get it so wrong
Can you see me twirling in my nightgown
I light up the city streets with the way I get down
Uninvited from the palace
My darling, take your coat

Poem: Twirling in my nightgown (continued)

I swim in baby blues; I sing in the shower real loud
Monday morning, skin is pale, I am ready for everything
It tires you to pieces,
Tears you to shreds
The way you’d play your electric guitar &
I noticed it was the exact same sound
Repeating
Unchanging
Have I ever been so bored with regret
I thought you and I would be perfect in a garden shed

But by the time we got there, all the flowers were dead.

Poem: Twirling in my nightgown (continued)

I thought, sweet honey, how are you so in tune with
Things that don’t make sense to anyone else
But so out of touch
With reality,
And a girl who’s made of real flesh
I said, pretty baby, you’re made of pure mercury
I’ve never seen your ribcage
Not the way your back muscles look
Which is fine, too
No photographs to collect in my scrapbook
My stark cold baby, how can you be so obscene

Trying to get in and out of escaping everything.

Poem: Twirling in my nightgown (continued)

I’d put out my cigarettes on your balcony
And you’d save them in a crystal jar
Are they still there, pretty baby
I’d take you back if you had been more nice to me

Asphalt and a flourishing society
My marine ecosystem is too vast for you
Stay where you’re safe
Sweet baby, don’t drown

I both found and left you in the lost & found
Twirling in my nightgown

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Love poem: Forever holds onto me

Love poem: Forever holds onto me

I was holding onto you
I was holding onto you
There was nothing I could do
There was nothing I could do
But only to know that I’d forever be helplessly in love with you

My best, world’s best, memories
Were me with fingertips
And the silly little way you walked
My starlight, my noble gas
My everything and all I could give inside one celestial collapse
I find it impossible
How one could not look
At your precious face for the last time
You were right there
You would always be mine

Love poem: Forever holds onto me (continued)

I was holding onto you
There was nothing they could do
I said keep trying, keep moving
I was so not done being with you
Every time
You looked at me
Is laid like concrete in my memory
There was nothing they could do
And I said, well, keep trying
There is no fucking way the love of my life is dying

I cry in the shower
Feel like screaming at grocery stores
Because you aren’t, in my bed, of course
I’m happy
It happened
So fast

Otherwise
I don’t think
I would last

And you and I both knew, I couldn’t die before you

Love poem: Forever holds onto me (continued)

I was holding on
With my bare arms
Holding you like a baby
Comforting you like a blanket
There was nothing more they could do
They promised and I believe them

You and I both know, I could not have died before you
Now, it’s nearing May
Dear God, what am I to do

This time last year,
I still had you.

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