Love poem: Polished shoes & Burberry perfume

Love poem: Polished shoes & Burberry perfume

I don’t want nothin’
The taste in my mouth
To want is to crave is to isolate
Like you’re sick

I may care to admit that it was my fault
My not bothering to understand you, ask the things that really mattered
What is it that you do to relax after a stressful day?
Tell me about the things that frighten you
Make sure for our sake that I’m not one of those things

Love poem: Polished shoes & Burberry perfume (continued)

I’m a dandelion
In your crystal abyss of a forlorn cave,
I don’t cry very often
I want you to hold me throughout the day
Feel close to me
I’m free-flowing like a loose feather
A father that doesn’t scold his kid
A mother who holds you right back

Love poem: Polished shoes & Burberry perfume (continued)

I’m driving, just like everybody.
Driving you crazy, but I think you like it
I’m obsessed with roses and peonies and you’re obsessed with my Burberry perfume
We make a good pair and I like the way I look in the windowpane glare
Cos I’m happy for some reason, for some reason,
Can you tell; can you tell?

You drive a jaguar, no, I’m just kidding
It’s a Subaru
Do you have any reason to believe that I don’t think you’re super cute
You drink your key lime and strawberry
And you like my Burberry
Perfume the way it
Sneaks up on ya
Don’t ya wanna
Hold me forever for the rest of the night

Love poem: Polished shoes & Burberry perfume (continued)

An auteur to be reckoned with, to be recognized
I saw the way you polish your shoes
Like you want to fade into the background
I’ll grab you right back
I’m hospitable like that
Sit next to you on a garden swing

Love poem: Polished shoes & Burberry perfume (continued)

Don’t ya wanna
Hold me forever for the rest of the day
Don’t you want to
Tell me you’re going to stay

The singular beauty
As an eternal optimist

It would be so kind of you to donate to my website to keep the dream alive! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Love poem: Sweetness in February

Love poem: Sweetness in February

Sometimes I look at, my flowers that have died
And I find them more beautiful than when they were alive.

Last year, my family got the most beautiful, dark-green noble fir Christmas tree we ever had
In a pop-up parking lot full of his friends
I personally found him more appealing before he was decorated
Then I cut 6 inches off my hair
No more split ends

Love poem: Sweetness in February (continued)

Somebody stole our Christmas ornaments from the car
The little cute animals my mother and I laughed about when we saw them in a store forever ago
I hope they felt happy in their new home,
Wherever they ended up,
I just hope they weren’t disposed.

Some people – you start to feel disposable to them,
Like the sweetness you carry doesn’t bear any weight,
Like it means nothing that whatever stories they tell you, will never be shared with a single soul
Not used as small talk to break the ice
Never told at “parties”
That I imagine I’d be attending with my future lover because other people have families & other people have friends & other people have obligations & events
Birthdays to attend
& other people might wonder why I’m not there, and I want to be more than polite for I’m awfully curious
About that sort of life.
I pretend I’m not but,
I really am.

Love poem: Sweetness in February (continued)

I didn’t want you for your money or what you promised me
I was just so calm when I would laugh with you
You introduced me to emojis
Now I use them constantly
You’re well aware I love cuteness
I know you favour my modesty
Something got in our way
You may not want to admit it was from both sides
I never knew you that well
Though of course I still cried

Come to my front gate
Wait in front of your car
I’ll wear the outfit I picked out
At the very start

Come to my front gate
To see me, now
I’ll wear full-on sweats
So you have nothing to think about

Love poem: Sweetness in February (continued)

But I know you a little more than I think I do
Who knows if I’ll ever find out if that’s true
I know you a tiny bit more than you think you do
Who knows if you’ll ever understand that it’s true

Sometimes I look at, my flowers that have died
And I find them more beautiful than when they were alive.

Valentine’s Day is coming up…!!!!

Please be so kind to donate to my website!

I own, perform maintenance on, and of course write all of my poetry by myself – and any amount could really help keep the dream alive! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Poem: Kind sentiments

Poem: Kind sentiments

I wish I could tell you, that it’s killing me
All of these unborn strawberries
Trying to get sunlight with some vitamin D
Wishing I could fall asleep with you holding me

Ambivalence is the trademark of all heartbreak
It ignores the sweetness that my coffee tastes like
I’m taking care of my own well-being
But there are shameful parts of me that you have seen
If only we could stand
Right outside
Sun rays beating down on the asphalt ground
Could have flowers in my hands
You, laughing quietly
Because we get along better than anything

Poem: Kind sentiments(continued)

Everything beautiful in my surroundings
Seems so fleeting to me now
I watch the little ducks
As they awkwardly call out
My friend told me to distract myself
But that’s not how I operate
In my dreams, I see you standing outside your car, at my front gate.

I wish I could tell you, exactly how I feel
But you have more pressing matters for which to deal
So I write kind notes to myself
Tape them onto my bedroom mirror
Say these things out loud
Choose confidence to fight the fear

Poem: Kind sentiments (continued)

I want
To curl up
Into
A little ball
Just like my foster dog
Where I am safe
And warm
And small

And these kinds of things don’t hurt at all.

Please consider donating to my PayPal! I own & work on my website by myself, and it would mean the world to me! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Poem: Boiling water (January)

Poem: Boiling water (January)

I
Feel
Dangerously
Close
To losing all the control I never had to begin with, in a heartbeat
I wanted to
Laugh
Wearing a wedding dress
On my patio with a cup of tea
And all the melancholy from January would have been swept away like last year’s rain
The lack thereof which drenched my city with fire

The ashes smelled
Comforting
To those who were not affected

Poem: Boiling water (January) [continued]

Like a campfire
In the forest
I think I was about seven or nine
When I last went to bed on time
I’ve been trying to take care
Of an anarchist’s body
Melted my hand on crystals of aspartame

I think
We do
Or do not
Belong
Where we think
We currently
Are
And that
Is not
A song
I want
To write.

Poem: Boiling water (January) [continued]

I don’t like ambivalence in others
But certainty to me fits a stepwise fashion
I check my email now, dad, are you proud
I can see the way she looks at me and I hate it
Can’t change it
It’s like I’m decaying
I wanted to make January so beautiful that it would make angels cry
Oh my goodness, I tried
I miss seeing you all alive
I’d laugh at your jokes a million more times
Join you guys in the swimming pool because
Body insecurity
Takes the form of a guilt trip
When you missed out on the life they’re missing out on now

The ashes smelled
Comforting
To those who were not affected

Now I sit on the grass near my patio
With an empty cup
Because I never actually managed to heat the water.

I host, manage, and work on my website by myself; donate to the magic & chaos! https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA

Love poem: Long-distance

Love poem: Long-distance

I’m alone in a garden
I been alone here all of my life
Won’t you save me from
Won’t you save me from

Feeling bitter, feeling warm
Wrapped up in a blanket through the night
I like the smell of blowing out a candle
Keep the fireplace on just for the light
You could find me downstairs
Interwoven with a dictionary in hand
So that I could find new words
To explain how I’ve been trapped

Someone somewhere is watching my back
I can’t call out by the river because it refracts the sound
Bends in ways
Like donut glaze
I subtract me from you when I take some space
I don’t need it
I don’t want it
You made me like this
In soft lavender and harsh footsteps
You made me face it

Love poem: Long-distance (continued)

Frozen strawberry
Smiling at you with raspberries on my fingertips
I spilled oat milk
It streamed down my fridge
Made a puddle on the floor that I crawled into
To spend some time with the ground
Press my ear to the wood to hear the underneath sounds
You had no idea
Bringing daisies to my doorstep
Would fill me up just enough to
Let some of the sadness leak out

I do need it
I do want it
You, with your arms around me even when I’m not cold
Heater on in the truck
Playing with the ballerina-slipper pink roses you got me
I do need it
I do want it
Otherwise, I’d be lying to myself

Love poem: Long-distance (continued)

But I’m so terribly afraid of
What it means to want to get close to someone whose

Distant

I’m going to let this go
Don’t want to let it get between us

Love poem: Long-distance (continued)

As long as you
Care
For me

As long as you’re
There
For me

I won’t let it get between us

I own, fund, and work on my website by myself; please consider supporting my work: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lilacdoveCA