Category: Blues

Poem: Ivory vacancy

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Poem: Ivory vacancy

Needles in my eyes
Twenty-five individual pieces
Kiss me before you say goodbye
Don’t let me walk home alone

I feel your presence
Even when you’re not beside me
Though there’s this ivory vacancy
Trembling a hole inside of me
It could be filled
If you would come closer
It could be gone
If you could spend the night

Poem: Ivory vacancy [continued]

I know that you’re testing me
By the way you speak to me
I can feel you testing me
By the way you act with me

I am invisible to everybody
But you
I matter nothing to nobody
But you
I think I like being in this field with
Only you
Laying down like it’s my last time
Just with you

Poem: Ivory vacancy [continued]

Nothing is vacant,
But the trees are fragrant,
And I’m not even going to tell you the things I think about day in and day out.

I’m a pale girl,
A true ivory “vacancy” motel sign

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Poem: Spoiled

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Poem: Spoiled

Vacillating upon soft pink ballroom spheres
I’m not the wrecked canister I used to be
You could say I’m much better
But I’m under the weather
Can you swim to me so we make sure I don’t drown.

Watching & welcoming the 405 freeway all around me,
The rosy glow in the sky above me,
Thinking I’m so lucky
Bare bones
Clandestine flesh
Give me more of what’s left of yourself
To keep
To hold
To have
To mold
My sacred entity
My entitled serpent
My king

Poem: Spoiled [Continued]

But I would not dare to risk it all
I’m a near-colourless, fifty-nine carat, princess-cut diamond ring
Thickened in winter with faux animal fur
Frosted like December Christmas trees
I found you by the lake
The look you gave told me to leave
So I found a secret cave underground
Where I could make-believe
That we would forever create an abundant fervency
Quartz flames, flushed stars, total internal reflection
Light as good as mine
Darkness as keen as the mystery that engulfs you

Poem: Spoiled [Continued]

If the cards were in my favour
You would always show up
If the cards were in my favour
You would show up for me

If the cards were in my favour
You would always show up
If the cards were in my favour
You would show up for me

Poem: Spoiled [Continued]

Spoil me with
What’s left of yourself

Don’t hold your breath
Like I’m holding my breath
Spoil me with
What’s left of yourself

I’ll take it
I’ll take it
To have
To hold
To mold
To keep

Spoiled

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Poem: Bellflower Blvd

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Poem: Bellflower Blvd

Oh, you have no idea of what’s wrong with me
Cos I got a whole long list for ya
But I don’t share it with anyone
I let them find out for themselves
They often don’t
So I can keep my secrets in the amethyst cave
The one that was built just for me
The one they’ll bury me in, in my grave

A lifted, matte black four-by-four driving right over me
Peeling all the smoked cigarettes straight out of yours truly,
I know I look petite, look small, look sweet
But there’s something hidden inside of me that’s so unruly
I am not scared of it – how could I be?
It’s part of me
I don’t think you should be either
George fixed my truck, and he made it real nice
But he drove it over and over straight over me
On a cold, hard, self-manufactured repeat

Poem: Bellflower Blvd (continued)

A large onyx black pickup truck that came with flowers
Baby’s Breath and off-road excellence
Bellflower Blvd is where the finish line is
It’s the name of my dog that I miss like I do Heaven’s remorse
And I can get some quick gains if I gamble right
But I always miss the mark on purpose
Climbing into rabbit holes just to see what’s inside,
If I wasn’t who I am, I’d have so many reasons to hide

Cos I’m tough in the way only a rose bush can be
I see the way that strangers look at me
And I don’t mind if I have to be the only one to believe
In what I am capable of being,
A fruit tree in the middle of nowhere
Pomelos left on the side of the road
That someone was selling but
Forgot about

Poem: Bellflower Blvd (continued)

The people in the car next to me at the stop light
They don’t know why I’m crying about this song.
The people in the car next to me at the stop light
They don’t care why I’m crying to this song
They don’t know why I’m crying about this song
The people in the car next to me at the stop light
They don’t know
It’s Bellflower Blvd

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Poem: Flammable girl in a perfect world

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Poem: Flammable girl in a perfect world

I hope when you think of me, you picture a
Stunning ballerina twirling around fever dreams
& made up things
Extrapolating conversations we have had
To much bigger situations
I live inside my head
Constantly create
& sometimes hope follows delusion
Into the most magnificent cave,
I do agree, this is the perfect recipe for heartbreak
While I am only getting stronger,
There’s only so much more that I can take

So I keep bouncing off the walls
The audience soaks it in
They love it all
Never a compliment in the paper
That’s where you come in
And to no one’s surprise at all
That’s the trap I fell in

Poem: Flammable girl in a perfect world [continued]

I fell in on purpose
Oh my goodness, I loved it
You made me so nervous
Holding my breath, I hated it

I wanted to show you my life
Share everything with you
I wanted to show you my life
Everything I said was true

But not from you
And to no one’s surprise at all
That was the trap I fell in
I wanted to seek comfort
In something that was melting
The entire mansion was on fire
I happily stayed inside
These are my own choices
This is exactly why I’ve cried

Poem: Flammable girl in a perfect world [continued]

I wanted to show you my life
The entire mansion was on fire
Nothing’s more beautiful than a girl in flames
I think it’s time I stop believing this is fun and games

Listening to you say my name
Listening to you say my name
Listening to you say my name
Everything is more beautiful when it’s up in flames
I was so happy to stay
Everything is more beautiful when it’s up in flames
But when the fun is over,
All you’re staring at is just decay

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Poem: Kind sentiments

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Poem: Kind sentiments

I wish I could tell you, that it’s killing me
All of these unborn strawberries
Trying to get sunlight with some vitamin D
Wishing I could fall asleep with you holding me

Ambivalence is the trademark of all heartbreak
It ignores the sweetness that my coffee tastes like
I’m taking care of my own well-being
But there are shameful parts of me that you have seen
If only we could stand
Right outside
Sun rays beating down on the asphalt ground
Could have flowers in my hands
You, laughing quietly
Because we get along better than anything

Poem: Kind sentiments(continued)

Everything beautiful in my surroundings
Seems so fleeting to me now
I watch the little ducks
As they awkwardly call out
My friend told me to distract myself
But that’s not how I operate
In my dreams, I see you standing outside your car, at my front gate.

I wish I could tell you, exactly how I feel
But you have more pressing matters for which to deal
So I write kind notes to myself
Tape them onto my bedroom mirror
Say these things out loud
Choose confidence to fight the fear

Poem: Kind sentiments (continued)

I want
To curl up
Into
A little ball
Just like my foster dog
Where I am safe
And warm
And small

And these kinds of things don’t hurt at all.

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