Poem: To be known, to be everything
Two days until I leave for Chicago
With my pink-to-white ombre nails, I feel so
Sophisticated
Like a secret garden
Like I don’t miss him whenever he’s not in my presence
I danced in my car, feeling joy, on the way to my shift
At the hospital
Where I prayed for every patient, the group of us had to exit the elevator for
Due to urgency
Some kind of crisis
It’s so lovely when family members come to visit
Though sometimes they don’t
Continued: To be known, to be everything
When I was helping my mother with her stretches,
I almost teared up at her fragility
The softest, smoothest skin, like a baby’s
If you wore a blindfold, you wouldn’t know her to be an adult woman
But she feels the weight of her age in her muscles and her bones
I feel so selfish to leave
But I know she’s so proud of me
I think in exchange for me being emotionally blunted for years
Lately, I feel absolutely everything all the time
I practice being mindful
While running my hands over daisies
Holding them like they’re precious
Like they’re frail and one day will die
Continued; To be known, to be everything
When I was helping my mother with her stretches,
I became hyper-aware that she’s frail
And although I always say she’s so strong that I’m likely to die first
One of my greatest talents is in accepting
Truths and possibilities that really hurt
If you put a blindfold over my eyes,
And guided me to touch my mother’s skin
I’d bet all of my money that the mysterious material is a baby
One that you never hear crying
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