Unlucky

It’s 6 in the morning, the time I usually wake up, but I haven’t closed my eyes yet
I spent all night choking myself
Thinking I’m not going anywhere with this gig
The same old thing
This long ol’ stretch
It’s beginning to work its way up my neck
Like a python, babe
You love to misbehave

You like to take me to that dark, dark place
Be the one only thing I can hold still to grab to
Get really attached to
Let my blonde hair down
Light a couple of matches
Birthday candles for two
I never said I was in love with you

The cashiers always watch me shake to pieces
They never ask, just watch
When my cut-up fingers rummage through my flamingo wallet
The zipper’s broken & I’m holding up the line
I wonder if they think I’m nervous
As if they’re so important
But they are important
To their families, maybe
Just not to me
Just not to me

My eyes feel so hollow
Like you could eat pudding out of my sockets
You roll out of your Benz and you lock it
Not once, not twice
A series of trials
For now I’ll remain in denial
Whatever it takes to hold your hand for a while

Pretty girls like me don’t smile
We’re the unlucky ones
I’m so dependent on my gun
Walk around town
Conceal and carry
Like wild, wild berries
You say the word, I’ll let you know which direction you should run
Hair bleached, face burned by the sun
On the count of one

Run