Civic ’04

I’m definitely in shambles
I want to be cooler
I want to know what you see in her
And how closely or how far apart that is from what you perceive of me, which I believe to be a blur
Are you really getting to know her?
Are you attached, at the hip?
When she talks a lot, do you fail to get a grip?
Do certain words slip?

I’m not interested in that
As a matter of fact
I’ll close my hands over my ears if you ever do tell
For I really don’t want to be overwhelmed
I’m so much more fragile than you think
Sometimes I know you’re at your brink
I see your bones and your ship start to sink
But you’re not mine to take care of, I think
No longer mine

Peach fuzz on my arms
Cherry on a cake
I go through my head counting every mistake
I grill it, I bake and I bake
My delicate hands start to shake
It all starts with you
It all ends with you
I don’t want all of it to end
I don’t want to be blue
My words are always misconstrued
Goddamnit can’t I tell you the truth
I won’t say it, I won’t write that rhyme there

You’re on your own
Tough skin and bones
Let’s see if you can act like the tough guy you think you are
Playing like you’ve got a gun in your trunk and ammunition to spare
You think I’m blissfully unaware
Falling for your smooth moves
After all this is the life I choose
Your hands on the wheel, we cruise and cruise
Many times I’ve wondered if we’ve engaged in abuse

Is that my decision to choose
To stay, to love, to keep
To heal, most of all
To hurt, myself in the running but perhaps you too in ways I don’t know yet
Talk to me like a grown man
Don’t let the blood flow over the edges
Be a man and breathe in when I pour hydrogen peroxide over your fresh red gashes and wounds
You can scream if you want to
You can shout at me, at god, at the nonexistence of any heavenly entity
You can express whatever it is inside of you that’s been eating away like aphids on growing flowers
I see you decay and I want to wash away
Your fears like butterflies
Turn them into bright tangerine skies
Rest your head on my soft thighs

So honey, please stop with the lies
Honey, stop with the lies
This may come as a surprise

My decision
To heal, most of all
Just give me a call
I don’t have to be yours to be important
That’s all

xx,
Elle