Passenger seat

I’m a small girl with a matchbox
A ticket to heaven
Leaving at eleven
Behind the curtains the children hide
I ask them what’s so fancy behind there

I walk home from the library
Hardcovers feel like survivorship
I’m dividing my eyes into pentagons
I still hear your song on the radio
Switch the television up to max vol

I’m by the lake, bow in my hair
The deer come closer like they love me
On my notepad I scratch his name out
Over and over again
I thought we could at least be friends

I’m passenger seat and you’re in the back
Glimmer in your eye thinking of paradise
You knew where you were going that night
You swore to me we’d be all right
It hurt like you threw the softest bricks

I’m passenger seat and you’re in the back
It hurt like you threw the softest bricks
Your book still lays untouched on my bed
Untouched as can be
Untouched as desolate me

The loudest silence when I found out
When I found out

Like death, adore him

Gentle
Lilacs growing in the garden
Saying “I’ll see you tomorrow”
A boy who doesn’t leave me with sorrow
And I still mess it up
I find a way
To misbehave
Get my own way
Impatience every day
I go to the beach and pray
For grey skies and soliloquy’s
For you and me, breakfast with tea
For me to provide all your fantasies

It’s rich
It’s gold
Maybe I should have done what I was told
Be a good girl
No temptations
Enforce restrictions
Monitor yourself
Equate honesty with wealth
Maintain your good health
Never run out of breath
Get yourself out of this mess

And when you get a boy that laughs like death
Adore him to the edges of the earth
Make sure he never gets hurt
Not by the ground, not by your lying teeth
More manipulative the further we drive East
This isn’t the place I wanted to be
Come home to me, baby
Softness
Hardship
Making love with passion and greed
Try to do one good deed
Don’t keep your bad habits
Driving fast, avoiding running over rabbits
I’m a little crazy, just a tad bit

Come back to me
I’m fragile
Come home to me
Come home to me
Come home to me
Come home