Lilac Dove

I go back and forth between wanting your company
Looking for someone who won’t smother me
But perhaps I’m wrong to think I know how I feel
It’s just lately this life has felt madly unreal
In cold cereal and an empty mailbox, there’s no appeal
But if you’re looking for a low-mileage used car I can get you a real good deal
I spend my days choosing my favorites from the hex code color wheel
It keeps me busy while I heal

I used to steer into the next lane on purpose
Just to see if the driver was aware enough to notice
I do what I want and there’s a fault to that
November’s best purchase was a Chicago Bear’s hat
How much I adored those days when we had no thermostat
I had a faux fur coat and felt like an aristocrat
Always asking my loving boyfriend what he was staring at
And I lost it, just like that

Life has felt madly unreal
Aware enough to notice
If you don’t want to know

Then you’re like a lot of people

You look much better than when you speak
Grandma says that Grandpa was her favorite antique
I like a boy who uses high speed drills and fixes trains that squeak
Marmalade, champagne, cool as ice on mint
My long, sparkly dress, camera captures the glint
Everyone’s staring at us, we might have to sprint
I’ve got to catch the parade this year
He sips fine, oh man, oh dear
A cherry on top for our sins
I’m leaving room for the might-have-beens
I like to look inside my crimson-red limbs

It takes me for a spin
Hi Daddy!
We’re at the park
It’s getting dark soon but I want to ride this train all night long
Even until the folks with no homes climb on and make room for the night
If this is their bedroom, I’m thinking something in the system’s not right
Squeeze your father good night

The winds and machines, they tell me their tricks
No trace of him left except for his chewed up toothpicks
They line my stairwell like a lunar eclipse
Several times at the docks we gazed at the ships

Now I’m on my own and I buy lemonade mix
I’m sour like the lemons you squeeze into your eyes
Yes I can tell when it’s me your patronize
A thousand types of metal, a thousand heavy sighs
When I close my eyes to sleep I see swarms of magpies
Come towards me in the dark
Nobody’s ever come so close
Fifty dollar bills and angel sharks
Your love is what I miss the most

Your love was better than most
Your love somehow got disposed
Your love haunts me like a ghost
Barely escaping
I’m
I’m barely escaping