Poem: From the garden

Poem; From the garden

You with your
Fast car
I’m holding my
Seatbelt
Wondering how careless you could be with your daughter
And after you were gone,
I figured out why you were so unbothered
Mechanic by daylight
Television by bedtime
I’d do anything to cut one of the garden peaches for you again

All I know is that I hope you’re digging your way through the gloom of the deep cement clouds
To see what I’m up to
How I’ve been living
I found me a boy
That treats me like a princess
I pretend to be doing well
But who am I kidding
Your never-stifled laughter is
Something I’ll forever be needing

Poem: From the garden [continued]

I put my wrinkled dollar bills on the counter
To pay for a blueberry icee
The cashier tells me
That I string words together so nicely
I wonder at what age
Did I become so inviting?
I just know you weren’t there to see it
I was a canine addicted to biting

And I’d do anything to
Cut one of the garden pears for you again
See your bright expression
In that very moment, right then
I was an imperfect daughter
To a highly flawed father

And I wish I could go back to those days
Like, all of the time
And I wish I could ask you for advice
Like, all of the time
And I wish I could come home late to you angry
Like, all of the time
And I wish I could feel the thrill of 100 miles per hour
Like, all of the time
Without crying

Poem: To be known, to be everything

Poem: To be known, to be everything

Two days until I leave for Chicago
With my pink-to-white ombre nails, I feel so
Sophisticated
Like a secret garden
Like I don’t miss him whenever he’s not in my presence

I danced in my car, feeling joy, on the way to my shift
At the hospital
Where I prayed for every patient, the group of us had to exit the elevator for
Due to urgency
Some kind of crisis
It’s so lovely when family members come to visit
Though sometimes they don’t

Continued: To be known, to be everything

When I was helping my mother with her stretches,
I almost teared up at her fragility
The softest, smoothest skin, like a baby’s
If you wore a blindfold, you wouldn’t know her to be an adult woman
But she feels the weight of her age in her muscles and her bones
I feel so selfish to leave
But I know she’s so proud of me

I think in exchange for me being emotionally blunted for years
Lately, I feel absolutely everything all the time
I practice being mindful
While running my hands over daisies
Holding them like they’re precious
Like they’re frail and one day will die

Continued; To be known, to be everything

When I was helping my mother with her stretches,
I became hyper-aware that she’s frail
And although I always say she’s so strong that I’m likely to die first
One of my greatest talents is in accepting
Truths and possibilities that really hurt

If you put a blindfold over my eyes,
And guided me to touch my mother’s skin
I’d bet all of my money that the mysterious material is a baby

One that you never hear crying

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