January 2024 – Lilac Dove

Love poem: Love like durable tooth enamel

I think of you, all the time- I really can’t help the hold you’ve put on me
Chrysanthemums and roses
To make my living place
Look like it has an ounce of life residing in these four-chambered walls

Time is not, on my side
Because I love you even more now than I did before
Nobody has, the same grey hairs you do
Same fearless aptitude
Concerned look when I walk in the room
You’re a lily growing in a field surrounded by vastness and open skies

I could cry
The scariest thing about love, is that it cannot be replaced
I remember looking at your face
And knowing things will be okay, regardless if you were to turn away
If I’m left in the dust, I’ll roll in it and breathe it in
Draw elaborate diagrams of my lung damage because anatomy is my second language
I miss your tooth enamel

On a Saturday, almost-afternoon
Everything is perfect
And I am crying, sipping my coffee
Thinking that time has done nothing but grow my love for you

It’s so strong, like a branch that will never snap
I wonder if you’ll ever figure out I love you like that

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Poem: Surveillance footage of Heaven

An inner emptiness that you can’t translate

Sea urchins watch me spin like a landslide
Unsure what comes next
Not sure if I’ll pull through
Lavender sea bed, schools of orange fish with blue stripes
I breathe every chemical in, and I’m doing so fine

He doesn’t call to come over
I got a dog that comes when called
Didn’t expect that to be
But it fits me quite nicely
She lays against my running shoes
As though they belong to the godly Earth
Call my mother and tell her I’m doing so fine

Poem: Surveillance footage of Heaven: Continued

You come across as
Tender
But you’re more violent than the tornados found in Oklahoma, Nebraska, and the South of Dakota
The plain states which are far from plain, because the bartender knows your name even before you walk in and order what the masses are having

There is a certain irony to how he shows callousness to the world
It so evidently depicts what he tries to hide
Myself, I’ve given up staying wide awake to wonder why,
As there are lavender flowers with higher powers than standard protocol would lead you to believe
I tremble on flat ground, but am most composed where it’s rocky
Try to remember what it was like, but my eyeglasses become foggy

A raindrop in the company of a million oak leaves
Desperate for its singular, idealized attention

You have to be observant without reading too much into certain things
I’ll fade in the summer months, but come up vibrant with the snow in February
Callow and shy, but on Neptune the temperature is
Humid like a riverbed overflowing with algae
Extracted for supplements you find at the natural food store
You only walk in because the weather is poor
(Doing laundry and then doing laundry again because you’re bored)

Tender spirit
Your affection is like
Surveillance footage I watch on repeat

This dog comes when called
I think this is heaven, after all

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