Swallowed

distantcaveLeave a comment

Bad boy
On the brink
Throwing up in my kitchen sink
Telling me you don’t trust me
Telling me you won’t commit to me
Telling me you won’t be with me
Stab wounds
Death metal comes to aid
My surrender, painted gold and marmalade
I’m crippling and afraid

I wish to become you
I wish to swallow you whole
I wish to dive into a sea where we can all be immortal and fall into a pivoting haze

I don’t want to pretend

You’ve got no innocence in your blood
Committed every horrible crime spoken of
But I don’t tell your secrets
I’m your beautiful, shiny, silver-coated treasure chest
But when you leave me alone I turn Into a frantic mess
Please, I know it’s hard to digest
I’m swollen and cold
Don’t do what I’m told
I wait for you silently to come by
And you never come by
Too busy working at your craft and succumbing to your shelter
We’re all too busy for the ones we don’t love as much

But I don’t tell your secrets
And you never come by
I don’t want to pretend
I wish to swallow you whole

Spin (again)

distantcaveLeave a comment

If we could have our own apartment
To dance in
To yell in
Not at each other because we’re working on it
But at the sun, at the moon
At the corporate offices that block our view of the city lights
Maybe you’ll slow down with me
Take it in deeply
That I get sad at night without you
But when I see you it’s like I’ve again found you

Again, and again, and again, and again
Spin me
Again, and again, and again, and again
Spin me
Again, and again and again, and again
I’ve found you
And I am sad without you
Again

1 boy 1 girl

distantcaveLeave a comment

Our alleged anniversary is just arriving
Been trying to remain yours, trying & trying
I feel like I can’t speak to you about this
Until it grasps me and handcuffs my wrists
I’m a free woman, perhaps not so free
But in the mirror I look so pretty
Chamomile flowers frame my hair and face
You’re looking for your keys that you never misplace
I’m at the bottom of the world, but I’m ace
I’m ace and in first place
First place
I’m in first place

I want you to think about how you talk to me
I’m scared to say but it makes me feel you don’t truly
Love me
Hold me in high regard
When you shut down all of my remarks
I want to have the most wonderful anniversary
But I might have to give a statement- her or me
I can’t keep swimming in the abandoned sea
It’s lost all its sparkle to glamorous me
You’re my only love; can’t you see

I’m in my bathing suit in the wild sunshine
No matter what, if you call, I’ll be on the line
My love, that should go both ways
Though I’m not really sure these days
You keep on pushing me away
You push me away
And yes I have the guts to be with you, to stay
But I’m not the only girl and that pains my veins

To be or not to be the only one

You’re the only one for me
You’re the only one for me
You’re the only one for me
You’re the only one for me

I’m in my bathing suit in the wild sunshine
No matter what, if you call, I’ll be on the line
My love, that should go both ways
Though I’m not really sure these days

Console me and love me
Console me and love me
I’m the only one for you
I’m the only one for you
Ful stop

Together

distantcaveLeave a comment

Black metal and a peach
I call you, I’m not feeling fine
This has been happening all of the time
This pit in my stomach that’s growing
Of external appearances, I’m not showing
Call goes to voicemail
I spin around in my office chair
Thinking of all the things you could be doing
All of the girls that you could be screwing
To my general state this is contributing

So I hang up the telephone
Rock back and forth a bit
Feel like I’m on a sailor’s ship
And I don’t have to do any little thing
But my mind cruelly wakes me up from this dream and points to all of the things I need to do
How somebody can work in this state, I don’t know, I barely do
I run through my contacts but I don’t have anyone but you
And I’m realizing no matter what you say, you almost never come through
What’s a gal like me to do

A magazine clipping on my wall states “Within Reach”
It was put up for inspiration
How simply they made it sound
Like something is right across the fence and you only have to climb it
Well I’m good at climbing fences
But you’re not “Within Reach”
You’re not on the other side of the fence
You’re so far away I can hardly taste you
With guns ablaze I can’t even find you

This fairytale is turning into a nightmare
I believe I’m the only one feeling the despair
Of not having you there
Close to me
Where we can be
Together.