1st of September

It’s the first of September
13 days ’till my birthday, remember?
I haven’t spoken to you in what feels like forever
But now it’s September
And I’m dancing anew
Around my kitchen with my canvas ballet shoes on
Glimmering
Someone asked me if ballerinas really stand on their toes
I laughed and said “well, that’s how it goes”
How we can be so far apart but sometimes feel so, close

You make me
You make me
Comatose

I want to grab you a beer but you’re not here
You’re off doing whatever you like
With a girl like me, yeah, sike
Missed opportunities
Looking out the window
Sipping matcha green tea and staring in the mirror
Like, what do I see here?
The girl who got away
Who had months she wanted to stay
My hip bones show the start of decay

Have I told you how much I love phone calls
When the phone rings, I drop all my things
I pick up the receiver like a delicate secretary
But these days I just hit decline
These days I don’t even buy myself wine
I used to sip it all the time
On the phone with you
Talking about your tattoos
I was stuck to you like glue
On the wrong page

To hear your laugh again
I’d fade into the sea
I’d ask you to swim with me
You’d laugh and say “we’ll see”

So we’ll see

My dream summer

Cherry blossom, take three
How badly I want to take you home with me
Where we can dance freely
To the music that doesn’t stop
When I drop
Drop, drop down
To the music that doesn’t stop

On the swings with me at the park, free
So glad you could come out with me
I’m reaching high on infidelity
Keep your secrets with me
On the swings, I get so high
You look at me, I feel alive
You’re my dream
I’m not what I seem
Keep your secrets with me

Laying on the grass and the dirt
You playfully slap me but it hurts
It hurts, baby, it hurts
We’re surrounded by leaves
Milk and summer, baby, can’t you see
You are the one, that belongs with me

It hurts, baby, it hurts
You look at me, I feel alive
Where we can dance freely
Milk and summer, baby, can you see me?

My bare thighs

I’m standing like bamboo
Wishing I was closer to you
From across the city sphere
Count the ways we disappear
Is it sound to say I’m right here

My brain makes too much noise
There never were other boys
I promise, I’m free and coming clean
There was nobody in between

To fall for false truths
It was the summer of disguise
When you touched my bare thighs
You manipulated me and you sighed

I was wasting my potential
The roses died, just to mention
It’s like I said in my clause
Where’s the glory with no applause
What’s the story that’s true
Lying is so far beneath you
I felt defeated and screwed
But then I met another dude
Turns out he’s just like you

When you touched my bare thighs
My brain makes too much noise
I promise I wasn’t lying
When I said there were no other boys
Head up, I maintain my irreconcilable poise
Have fun with your anonymous toys
Do you learn their names?
Does it ever stop the noise?

I know you’re bored

I know you well

Tidal waves

Casting tidal waves
Mussels by the sea shore
From you, I want more

I want the bedtime calls
I want the phone to ring on & on
I want to save your voicemails

And listen to them on repeat
Blue skies are tragedies
For you I fall apart

I’ve got a brand new start
I’ve got a brand new start
Don’t mess this up
Don’t mess this up

Your favorite author

He told me
That I was
His favorite
Author

Though sometimes I feel like I’m a bother

It’s nice to know
I have someone
That knows
My real name

How to play this game
Without crumbling with shame

When I go to sleep
I think of me and him
Charming, soothing lullabies
Sweet hellos & long goodbyes

No ambiguity or excess why’s

No ambiguity or excess why’s
We haven’t overcome that yet
Too early to mention it yet
His “I don’t know” answers I’ll never forget

And I’m back to holding my breath
I arch my back
Hold still
And I’m back to holding my breath