No need to explain

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Soft-spoken
Brilliant heavenly body
Make peace with somebody

Dissolve into anarchy
A stereotypical mess
Watch how I slowly undress
Kitchen counters made of marble

Rough like stone
Bad to the bone
Cheesy commercials with artificial dads
A girl wearing glitter buys 10,000 American flags
Cool like driving down to the beach

Play my favorite song on repeat
Count the white mustangs we see zipping by
Castration is key to a civil society
Ripe like peaches in the golden sunlight
What’s artificially bright
What’s mine is not yours

Peonies, dying patiently
Saying their goodbyes to me, myself, and I
Taking nicely-colored paint samples from the hardware store
I’m the kind of girl you’ll learn to adore

I’m the kind of girl you buy white roses for
Are you the kind of person that likes to fill others with joy?
Save it for the rainy days
No need to explain

In the sunshine

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Peach, lime and nectarines
You caught me off guard, wearing those jeans
Surreal nights
Sugar and spice
Mix it up and make ice, the kind that I like

I’m shivering in your jacket
You’re born for the cold
We do things our way
Not their way
You with scotch, me with flowers
We breathe in life, uncontrolled
You in the sunshine, holding a bunch of marigolds

Am I becoming predictable?
The glass house I live in
You’re fire and you’re staining my bedroom floor
Like dark coal
Let dreams unfold
I come rusty but I promise I’m whole

We melt each others’ ice cream
Dance like we’ve been together ages
You don’t just love me; you love me in stages
Like wildfire all over the pages

Lavender and lilies, green common sage
I remember exactly what I was wearing that day
Blue watch, shiny like gold dust
In me you put all of your trust
The real kind, what we discussed

If I was a sparrow and I chose to fly
How long would you follow behind?

Responsible for

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Wearing your beanie while I’m typing up my manuscript
Glasses are foggy
Streets are wet
I wish I could slip away on a big black jet
A spider trapped within its own complex net

I’m learning to sew with the ladies from the home
They school me on the importance of finding a good man
They think I don’t understand
That a wife needs a home that she doesn’t have to be held responsible for
I nod and say, of course

I go out early to watch the sun rise in shades of peaches and apricots
Trace my fingertips on deep green leaves
Brush my hair once an hour to stay looking neat
Lana Del Rey on repeat
Most days I forget to eat

When you took me on your motorcycle
You knew I wasn’t afraid
So you zigzagged between cars
Like we were going to reach the stars
I told you heaven isn’t very far

I keep my composure in public
Keep my mind in all respects blank
But that was done for
When I saw a little child, lost in a drugstore
Ten times over

I said, take my hand

April rain

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I’m memorizing
The numbers to call
For emergencies

You, you’re there for me
Like a ship set for sail
I’m calm but I’m feeling pale
On the cusp of letting you go
Pausing
Trembling
So I have to let you know

With you
It feels like the April rain has washed me
Absolved me
A bathtub with rose petals
3, 4, 35
Put my photographs on your hard drive
We’re living past forty-five

Walk along the dock
You speak to me in paragraphs
We share our love and exchange laughs
Holding your hand is scary
Don’t know when the next time will be
There’s no guarantee
No security

Arm wrapped around me, in the living room we dance
I stare at the fire and fall deeply into the romance
A flight delay
Sweetheart, won’t you stay

I need a portrait to make this permanent
Don’t you dare look away
If I start to feel vulnerable
Know you made me this way

And that’s okay

The Chicago Bears

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I go back and forth between wanting your company
Looking for someone who won’t smother me
But perhaps I’m wrong to think I know how I feel
It’s just lately this life has felt madly unreal
In cold cereal and an empty mailbox, there’s no appeal
But if you’re looking for a low-mileage used car I can get you a real good deal
I spend my days choosing my favorites from the hex code color wheel
It keeps me busy while I heal

I used to steer into the next lane on purpose
Just to see if the driver was aware enough to notice
I do what I want and there’s a fault to that
November’s best purchase was a Chicago Bear’s hat
How much I adored those days when we had no thermostat
I had a faux fur coat and felt like an aristocrat
Always asking my loving boyfriend what he was staring at
And I lost it, just like that

Life has felt madly unreal
Aware enough to notice
If you don’t want to know

Then you’re like a lot of people