A lullaby (I wonder why)

I wrote a poem titled “Cradle” for a boy who never read it
I don’t think I wrote it specifically for him, though
I did it for me
So it didn’t feel like a punch to the gut
So much
As when he did other things
I won’t mention

Did I get your attention
Somebody hit my car and the alarm’s ringing
The neighbors are peering out their windows waiting for it to end
Oh I love it when someone makes the rules bend
I’m staying in my house
Quiet as a mouse
That alarm ringing to me is like a lullaby

Every weekend I have a choice
To distract from all the noise
Hit up the worst possible boy
I’m weak
We barely speak
It’s been a week
Somebody shouts “turn that off!”

I can’t get it to stop
I can’t get it to stop
I can’t get it to stop
I’m weak

Irrational (cradle)

A puff of air to the eye
Will elicit a blink
I’m craving you, I think
Regretting it
Not letting it
Get
Me
Down

I’m your angel, turn me around
Make all of my evils casual
You know you want to throw me to the ground
And suffocate me
It wouldn’t be irrational
For you
My dream
Underneath the stars forever

I sing
To you
In
My
Sleep

Queen of parliaments

At this rate
We’re going down
You lost me and I will never be found
I’m taking trips to Venice
Getting trashed in clubs
Sick of being in love
Swimming in a rosy bathtub
Filled with water
Water
Gently
Slowly

Becoming myself
Not a strange, rancid guest
It’s tough for me to digest
That I can’t even get pity
But I thought I was pretty
The alleyway’s gritty

You found me at last
With my Parliaments
I caved, I guess
I think you bought me this dress
That’s right, you bought me this dress
Light this for me, be my guest
Inside
You’ll always be a mess

You heard it from the best

Pistol baby

I
Check
The
Mail
Everyday for tobacco coupons, notices for bills, Sam’s old Stanford Law magazine
They call it a brochure
In letters I find dried little flowers, probably curated for hours
Long, pensive cursive ink I’ll probably throw into the trash
I asked about your guns, you showed me your stash
I got whiplash
I wasn’t expecting that

Your loaded Smith & Wesson pistol
How’d you get your hands on that
Giving me a heart attack

Stop
Don’t point it at me like that

Don’t make me like you even more
I’m really not the girl you asked for
I bet you have others, for that I’m sure
My ex-boyfriend called me a whore

Are you sure you want to get involved?
I may be a puzzle, but I’m not yours to solve
My mental derangement cannot be dissolved
I’ve tried these tactics
Your words are like static
I want to scream, “rescue me”
But the last thing I want is your bitter pity
So just try to please me
Act pleasant and nice like a daisy
Swim across all the oceans with me
Plant mint and fall in love, madly
I do things a little obscurely

Start
Point it at me like that
Make me question how to act
Say that you’re playing and this is just a joke
Right?
Right?

Your take your Parliaments out
I begin to smoke
I love to smoke
You don’t know me, I’m poison oak
My life is all one big joke

In holy matrimony

A
Sigh
Of
Relief
For the ones that can be without
A masculine guardian
An angel with wings
You’re burning me with peroxide!
It stings and it stings!
But you say such magical things

You drive an SUV but I like to sit down low
Like a Lamborghini, that you’re driving just for show
I got soft curves like Marilyn Monroe
That and other facts that you’ll never find out
I don’t quite want to kiss you so I just pout
Darling there are too many things we can talk about
So cruise with me, come on, soothe me

Pink silk and a cotton sweater, I’m doing overtime
You remind me I’m attached to a victimless crime
A daiquiri you make me, with an American lime
But I don’t drink
With you I need space to think
Alone in here I’m the weakest link
In holy matrimony, in holy matrimony
Let the water be clear for all angels to pass

Impatiently waiting
God is forsaken
How much time is he taking
To make me feel

Like Juliet has come alive
Like crystal meth, before you drive
140 miles per hour, who am I to say
I’d love to die if we can stay this way

I’d love to die if we just stay this way