Love poem: Grey t-shirt (chamber orchestra)

Love poem: Grey t-shirt (chamber orchestra)

A love poem about admiration & being interpreted as an authentic rendition.

A chamber orchestra to tell you that
I liked you in that grey t-shirt
Where stillness isn’t illness & former wounds don’t hurt
Moving my bed for me
Minding the carefully close-cut angles
Sweet diamond necklace for
Your baby girl
Soft as a feather
Lie here forever
Absorb the crisp meadow fog that bestows upon us
In our transient youth
We carry inherent truth
Teardrops like vessels that transmit to the azure
My ivory-white dress
Hair is a mess
Porcelain flesh

Find me in your wake

We drift like sovereign kingdoms unheard of
I don’t know your middle name
And this playground is made for the game
We play where you hold me when it’s dark outside
And the streetlights have yet to become undone
Every weekday I rise before the sun
Make you early morning toast
Vegan butter for my lover
You make me laugh in ways nobody ever has
And you’re so good at that
Turning my eyes lilac

Eyelashes painted tar pitch black
Tainted with dismay, but
The softest, quietest features make up your
Sweeping shoulders
A worn man with a contractor’s tan
That moves like sunbeams across flourishing streams
Finding meaning
Hope is so fleeting
But like windmills, we find a day’s work ahead
And you crawl in bed
Influenced by times I had said,
I would be here to calm your nerves
Patient and kind, like a little bird
I’ll be so warm, nothing has to hurt

I set a little trap; in it, I gathered dewdrops
Fragrances from the heavens
Get me home by eleven
Lay on your truck bed and I tell you I’m scared
The future felt obsolete but,
When our gaze meets
I find you in a pocket of porcelain teeth
Gnawing at the frostbite
The howling of the mariner’s night
You rearrange your textbooks and I, light as a pinion
Slip out of the way and I want you to stay
In your grey t-shirt so I can admire
The fibers that overlay your hardened shoulders
Something inside me no longer unnerving
The weight of the earth no longer a burden
You’d go mad from the chaos in my sheath

A smoothness to my skin that absolves sins
The way I’m lighthearted, like no one ever departed
Leaving me to stand in the snow that is falling
And it is now that I think I am stalling
From telling you, I see
Amber rays underneath your eyelids
In the near distance, a gathering of kids
Laughing like God allowed them to celebrate
We’ve got our entire lives to make what’s never been made
Your swarm of avalanches
The dark-cornered branches
This is my stop; I’m home now and
In mint julep transience and snowy ambiance
I’ve somehow arrived in your department
The flowers in the vase in the center of my apartment
The things that make me smile before I go to lock it

Behind me to turn to you and
We drove through Stars and Stripes
Detonating furiously like January ice
We slipped and fell in front of a chamber orchestra
A noise I can only recollect when you object
To me, choosing a spot in the shade,

You want the sun’s rays to cast their marvel on my figurine, my sugared marmalade
Vast open skies
Graceful, feminine thighs
I’m fair-skinned, I know, but your words go to show
You want to have me in the best possible light
Get the green in my patient & reserved eyes, just right
Note the ash blonde strands that are tied with a ribbon
Falling slightly on my face,
Terrible thing to waste
Being at the right time at the right age

When you are near
I don’t have to fear
That I will be seen differently than I am composed

It’s gentle velvet days and nights like those
That I don’t mind you being so close
In your charcoal-grey, woven-cotton t-shirt

To see me as delicately as I am composed
It’s silk & satin days and nights like those
That I just love you being so close

That I just love being in love, almost

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Poem: Burial ground (true love)

Poem: Burial ground (true love)

I’m a very kind and gracious girl
If you let me, I will give you the world
But as the brutality of this world continues to unfold
My mirror’s edge is veiled, my patience can’t be sold

Give me your garden
Make everything quiet
I swear I’m prettiest when I’m not lying
I won’t give up hoping, I won’t stop trying
But it would be a piece of fiction to say I don’t dream of dying

You’re laughing at me
My blonde hair blows in the breeze
I will prevail, even though they’re dead-set on bringing long-lasting harm to me
I see through the trees
When I run, you freeze
Collapsing in child’s fables isn’t only for the weak
Take me with you
I want to know what God knows
Don’t be scared of the nighttime
In the darkest hours, I’m most composed

The more you grow up, the smarter you think you are
But in the same circumstances, you always lose yourself
I collect hard-cover books of flowers & death spells
I know all the wonderful roses by their first and last names
I play with my sanity like it’s my favourite win-or-lose game
You were always so harsh
But me? Oh, so tame
Didn’t know how to respond to all the accusations and shame
I hate you, I love you
It all sounded the same

I’ve decided to take my most loved photo of us down from my shelf
I thought it proved we were real
The space between you and myself
But my mitral valve is still broken, so I can’t afford to inconvenience oneself
Though our smiles were true
You said it yourself
Never seen a girl look at you so warm and heartfelt
It hurts now
But it didn’t back then
Those split seconds repeat in my mind, again and again
You were my prince, my most handsome immunogen
You said I stunned in my floral dress
Dainty and parisienne

I know this frail body wasn’t exactly built to please
I’m a young girl too – I have restraint, but I have needs
My singleness of purpose is far too remote
I tend to break up with boys by posting poems I wrote
When I was at my most fragile, I asked you for a rose
Your promises were painful because I never got those

But your perseverance to love me will be your best power
I stay up wondering how to please you
I only sleep a few hours
Me at my most tired is me at my most sour
How much more beautiful do I need to be, in order to receive a white flower?
I’m sort of like a princess stuck at the crown of a tower
My father’s hung flyers for the peasants and princes to form a line
Some of them have courage
Some barely have a spine
The common denominator seems to be they’re all trying
But if you said it’s to impress me, I’d say that you’re lying

Several days ago, I bought roses
To make myself smile
I didn’t change the water
Just like me, they’re dying

Winters in Chicago were when I felt my most free
The wind chill was so strong, I felt it belonged to me
It didn’t matter that it was a lake, I still saw it as the sea
All I remember are evenings at Argo Tea
Feeling happy, just to be me

You must have composure, you must be determined
I’m taking care of myself, I’m doing it on purpose
The December chill confronts me with things I am sure of
Like how spontaneously great heights can collapse
Like how the disillusioned are most likely to relapse
Like how I felt, true love was almost in my grasp

But as the fog on my window, it visited and then passed
It disappeared just like that
I’m trying not to react

I’m screaming into my pillow
(I’m trying not to react)
I’m folding laundry to feel productive
(I’m scared of whom I’ll attract)
I lied to everybody & said I was fine
(I was so scared the whole time)
I’m taking every analeptic
(I write your name, strike it out with a line)

I picture me in your backyard,
Picking grapes off the vine
I cried the whole way home, driving past the coastline
I thought I didn’t deserve beauty, God doesn’t want me on cloud nine
So I hit up your number,
Forgot you were atropine
And now I’m having trouble sleeping because you aren’t my lifeline
I tell you
I need you!
You say, maybe next time
“I’ve got a girl here, she’s helping me escape my mind”

To some people, I’m gorgeous
To you, I’m saccharine
But everything I am, you will always undermine
I’m not your chosen one
Never your valentine

I’m the one that treads water
Looking for reasons to be alive

If you were safety, you wouldn’t give me your hand
You’d sail towards what suits you
The palm trees, the sand

I would get tired
Give up and drown
You wouldn’t say sorry, because you wouldn’t be around

The water obscures my hearing
The green-blue current is the only sound
I wanted to be loved, the void was what I found
But the ocean is my new bliss, so I fade into the background
I’m five again, I’ve found my new playground

I would get tired
Give up and drown
You wouldn’t say sorry, you wouldn’t be around
I’m five again, I’ve found my new playground
The sea has become my chosen burial ground
The green-blue current is the only sound

The void is what I felt, but true love is what I found

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Dedicated to: James Mark Davies.

IPSY February 2020 Glam Bag Review!

Hello all! I am SO excited to be reviewing another glam bag from IPSY. I love this company, and I love their samples. When I first took the survey that asked me my skin color, eye color, and preferences I was unsure whether they’d deliver to suit those needs or if it was just a throwaway survey. I think they do pay attention and customers get orders that fulfill their requests and needs. The February 2020 Glam Bag in particular made me really excited to try all the products. On to the photoshoot!

The packaging! So secure and so cute!
The packaging along with the glam bag itself! Gorgeous!
Glam bag in all its glory. It’s furry and basically perfect. I just love touching it.
All of the items included in the glam bag, with the description insert.
Products, change places! Here pictured is the DOUCCE COSMETICS Boombastic Lash Volumizer Mascara, the TARTE Sex Kitten Liquid Liner in Black, and the KVOSSNYC FAIRY DUST Pressed Highlighter in Moonlight. Glam bag included of course!
DOUCCE COSMETICS Boombastic Lash Volumizer Mascara (sample value shown; full value 13.5mL is $24); KVOSSNYC FAIRY DUST Pressed Highlighter in Moonlight (Full size shown, $28); TARTE Sex Kitten Liquid Liner in Black (sample value shown; full value 1.4mL is $20)
Pictured here are the DR.FROG Water Fullcharge All in One (Sample value shown; full size 130mL is $18) which is a face moisturizer, and IT COSMETICS Your Skin But Better Primer + Oil-Free (Sample value shown; full size 30mL is $39).
Pictured here is the KVOSSNYC FAIRY DUST Pressed Highlighter in Moonlight. It’s said to “blend into your skin like butter” and reflect light. Like any highlighter should, but I’m not sure about the blending! I’ll have to see and update. Look ahead for photographs of the inside.
Lil’ trial on my fingertips. So shiny 🙂
Some more fingertip shimmer. I couldn’t help it, what? This is composed of pearly pink pigments that are meant to be placed on the high points of the face and the cheekbones.
A little kiss for everyone that reads my blog; hopefully you enjoy it ! Please get feedback to me, you can message me on instagram at instagram.com/lilacdovee 🙂
This is the TARTE Sex Kitten Liquid Liner in Black. Look ahead to see how sharp and fineeeeee the head is!
TARTE Sex Kitten Liquid Liner in Black. Unbelievable fine point. Exactly what I needed, too.
If there’s one thing you could put in your glam bag, what would it be? I’m thinking Tarte’s eyeliner. It’s a toss-up between eyeliner and mascara, though. And this next one is incredible.
This is the wand on the DOUCCE COSMETICS Boombastic Lash Volumizer Mascara. This volumizes your lashes like crazzzzzzyyyy. I mean, look at the wand! When I first opened the tube I knew this mascara would be a keeper. I keep it in my makeup bag.
A nice picture of my cabinets. KVOSSNYC FAIRY DUST Pressed Highlighter in Moonlight.
This is the information insert that came inside the glam bag with the products. It lists the prices of the actual sizes, something I haven’t seen IPSY do before, so I’m glad about that.

The February 2020 IPSY Glam Bag was a wonderful one. I baaaadly needed a new liquid liner, and I was very pleased to receive the Tarte one. Did you see that fine point? I can’t wait to use it and review it.

I have used three products: the IT COSMETICS Your Skin But Better Primer + Oil-Free (that is so grammatically incorrect that it bothers me), the DOUCCE COSMETICS Boombastic Lash Volumizer Mascara, and the DR.FROG Water Fullcharge All in One (moisturizer) and enjoyed all three products. The mascara is amazing, hands down. I would say 5/5 stars and I’m not even kidding, nor am I generous with my star ratings, haha. The primer I need more time with, as I’m switching up what moisturizers I’m using. Speaking of moisturizer, I’ve tried the DR.FROG and so far it’s super hydrating. It leaves a layer on my face but a makeup primer would probably cancel that out.

Thanks for tuning in!

xo,

Elle

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IPSY Glam Bag Review

I am SO excited that I got my first Ipsy glam bag from my subscription! I’ve heard about this all over the internet and beauty-related material so it’s about time I got on the band wagon. And I got the cutest… bag with it, and it’s definitely glam!

Super cute pink mailed package and super glam & adorable Betty Boop makeup bag!
FLAUNT IT! #DiscoverYourself
All the contents laid out. Super cute pink packaging, and adorable, glam Betty Boop makeup bag.
Processed with VSCO with h3 preset
Betty Boop blush, and THANK GOD for Benefit’s They’re Real! mascara !!!!!!!
The tones of the blush. Match my neutral-pink kitchen tiling, haha!
Concealer brush (at laaaaaaaast!)
Ipsy providing a choice to be made for next month’s glam bag. Doesn’t the Betty Boop case look so adorable and perfect from this angle, or in general?!
The lovely package that my glam bag came in! Is it weird if I keep it? I’m keeping it.

I haven’t yet tried all of the products- I was too damn excited taking pictures of the pieces atop my lovely neutral-pink kitchen surface tiles. Or whatever those are called. But the products I did try, I am soooo in love with. Again- really happy with this month’s subscription set. Ipsy did something right, all the things.

  1. Marc Anthony’s leave-in conditioner: I definitely love & need leave-in conditioner, and I’m pleased with the size of the sample mailed to me. Marc Anthony is an incredible brand that I’ve known & trusted for years, and was ecstatic to see it in the glam bag.
  2. Murad’s Salicylic Acid face cleanser: I needed this! I know Murad from their makeup setting spray which smells delicious & I’ve unfortunately just run out of. So far I’ve really liked this face wash. It smells good, and lathers nicely; I use it with my Clarisonic Mia.
  3. Beau Gachis Concealer- Anticernes brush: Finally I have one! I have a friend who’s been hounding on me for not using a concealer brush. The bristles are soft & I’m glad to make my makeup routine more hygienic and overall more effective. www.beaugachis.com
  4. Benefit’s They’re Real! mascara: OH. MY. GOD. This is the best mascara I’ve used in my entire life. I didn’t have to use very many pumps of mascara to have luscious volume, dark depth, and the longest, loveliest natural lashes. I recommend this beautiful blend to all.

I am looking very much forward to next month’s glam bag! To get a subscription for yourself, go to ipsy.com to get started & fill out a short but informative questionnaire about your tastes, preferences, and self.

I will be doing more of these beauty reviews about products I come about, the Sephora Play subscription box, and the Ipsy glam bag subscription. Thank you for reading!

xo, Elle