Love poem: Tired surprise

Welcome to my poetry website! Pink poems are love poems & blue poems are more general “life” poems. Each poem is interrupted by photographs and ends when you’ve reached the SoundCloud portion.

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Love poem: Tired surprise

I want someone to unwind me
Unravel me & cover me back up with ivory satin
Lying on your bed while we listen to electric guitar
Devour me on purpose
Taste my flesh
Get away with murder in a hospital bed

I want to be
Your lightning and your fire
But calm like a river bed
Give to you what your parents never did
Be like the cool buzz from half a can of beer
Charming, light, open you up to the silliness of life
That I hope you see too, and when we come together
We can make diamonds come alive
Spoon-feed cherry blossoms their evening supper
Truly, and I mean truly
Care for one another

I’m a swan in the water, I’m a storm when I drive
Hands clasped behind his back
He doesn’t want to keep talking about this
But I do
You have to choose somebody that accepts every part of you
For someone who’s often misunderstood
Such will take a long time
I close my eyes and think of how long I’ll be on this ride
Then glance in the mirror, see the twinkle in my eyes
I could be someone’s most beautiful surprise

Calm like a river bed
Charming and light
Not afraid of the deep end, the stones with colours that have never been named
I don’t want to feel ashamed
Of the space I occupy
The words that come out when I haven’t thought carefully enough
I don’t want to be ashamed
Of the person I adore when it’s just me in my room
I told you, I’m forever in bloom
Vacate the room if that’s not cool with you

Sleeping soundly and not wanting to be disturbed
He doesn’t want to keep talking about this
But I do
I do
Thinking about the things that seem to only have meaning for you
It’s exhausting
Time is fragile
A car’s despairing exhaust
The first of December’s crystals of frost

I want someone to unwind me
Because I’m so
Tired

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Poem: Coming home

Poem: Coming home

My angel of all angels
I look for you everywhere
One jagged footstep after another
Saw so much of myself in you
Wanted to keep you safe
Shield you from the venomous, foggy skies

One pebble that forms an entire ocean
I’m enjoying the alone time
But I think of you constantly
(How could I not?)
At the edge of my lavender & velvet bed
Gorgeous brown eyes
A diameter so perfect it could bring me to tears

Fascinated by police sirens,
A villain that’s scared of nothing
In love with the sheer chaos of vitality, as am I
To be young and to grow old
Never do what you’re told
Watch television with me as the evening unfolds
Real perfection encapsulated, one single moment
Your brown eyes on repeat every single day

Us walking around the Windy City
You – looking so pretty
Me hopelessly attached to the fibers within you
A skeleton I
Sought to preserve
So I could run my fingers along your delicate spine
Happy

Lost dog
Posters of you everywhere
(In my mind)
Trying to figure out where it is, you went
Thinking whether and to what extent God was involved
It’s been three months, and it feels like you just left
I swear I can still feel you right there.

You were that vicious one on the street
Didn’t accept anyone else’s morals as your own
When you were with me,
Our worlds would never collide.
Felt like a perfect unison of all the good and evil in this world.
And I loved that about you
How you kept my secrets in a safe place
Somewhere nobody has been able to find

I take the exit to Bellflower Boulevard
I see you all over the place
Can you see me driving in the night?
Can you see me driving like I’m coming home to you?

Coming home to you
Can you see me coming home to you?
Wrapped up in my memories of you
Do you wonder where I am, too?

Lost dog
I tell God
Breathe the life into me that you took out of her.
I think I’ve seen and felt it all
I’m ready for you to come home
I’m ready for you to come home
My angel
My angel
My angel
My angel

Come home
Your brown eyes on repeat
Every single day

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Poem: Breathing room

Poem: Breathing room

Allow yourself to be bored
Brush your teeth while they’re on the floor
Infertile like a flower
My higher power
Acrimony is not something I’d like to be familiar with

Let’s get faded in our raincoats
Consider myself blessed,
To be rolling around in the dirt, this mess
Is contagious, I am contagious
Don’t go down with me
I can see how your eyes roll
As they’re crawling closer to me

A poem by a young author about returning to stability.

My dandelion, my little candied nectar
Impatient with my relapse
Looking for the right hands
Your little typewriter bat wings

A man walking home carrying Trader Joe’s bags
They sell the most beautiful flowers
(I could photograph them for hours)
I came outside to smoke, but I’ll just sit in the sunshine
These days I have a final answer, and then another
Save it in a drawer for when the moment comes up
Forget it soon after because the violence in your eyes sustains me
Like the ocean is breathing and I have mid 16th century gills
I find more things stunning about myself than I have ever before felt
I’m in love with the hazel of the night
Amber and baby blue lights
Dinner of frostbite

I used to be so full of words
What happened to me?
I wake up early and all I want to do is to go to sleep
Then my cat shows me her claws
& I grab her toy string
We spend the rest of the morning doing ballroom dances around the living room
Like little kids
On amphetamines
Laughing until the walls collapse
I drive myself to the coffee shop
Watch a young child open the door for his mother

And it settles in that this life is on purpose
My bad habits shouldn’t make me nervous

They should make me find myself more stunning than I have ever before felt
Fabric stitched together
Needles in pockets
Dust in my lungs because my oxygen reserves are just fine

I came outside to smoke, but I’ll just sit in the sunshine
Baskets of florals
Life full of purpose

Tomorrow is Thursday and I’ll wake up early
To play with my cat in the living room

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Love poem: Perfectly real (really perfect)

Love poem: Perfectly real (really perfect)

Suddenly
The impetus is on me
To be perfect, so perfect, for you again
Satin & lavender bedsheets
Fresh clothes from the dryer
Neurons that synapse when the clock resets

But I can’t
Withstand
Dissonance
I can’t
Bear to
Live with regret
I can’t
Break free from
This tangled fishnet
The wire digging its claws directly into my spine

Disengagement when separated
Disregarded how you said maybe
Perhaps it’s my own agenda that
I failed to write out in black ink
My own handwriting looks foreign to me
The flowers in my apartment have finished dying
I closed the curtains, but someone is waiting
To see me burn out like I’ve been on fire this whole time

Carving my name into my solitude
Changing the location of a confined venue
I don’t like this dress
Don’t like how I look in it
Want you to tell me I inspire you to stop playing make-believe
Wish you would bring me roses & be gentle with me
Not let me lose any more sleep

I’m not really writing
I’m scared of defining
How lazy I’ve gotten at building my self-esteem
The ships are all sinking
The pilot keeps blinking
& the leftovers have spoiled because real things are only real in real time

So I hit “unsend”
Spend the afternoon in my garden
Playing with my own hair, saying your name to myself

I can’t even ask you
What you meant when you said nothing
Because I know myself to get in the way of what could be

I’ll trace my ashes
In long cylinder glasses
Faking a proof-of-concept of a girl who takes pride in the way she carries herself

Now I’m scared of writing
Because I don’t like what I see
And that holds far too much meaning to me

I’m sick of trying
To act like I haven’t been
Crying myself to sleep

Tell me I’m perfect
Say that you missed me
Step into my four-chambered studio where the pianos lack keys
& the guitars have no strings
We can dissolve into anything we want life to be

Tell me you missed me
Without lying to me
Tell me I’m perfect
Because you can see how I dream
Tell me you loved how
I didn’t seem desperate
To find in my own self what you’ve found in yours

I’ll rearrange my bedroom
Work on shifting my patterns
So that the stillness in your settings can bleed into me

Tell me I’m perfect
Without lying to me
Reach for me when I’m drowning
In my make-believe sea
Allow me to realize there’s more to let go of
More in life to make sense of
More in this life to see

When you’ve regained stability
Found blue-green lakes filled with clarity
Then, you can come back to me

I’ll be in my garden
Telling myself
That I don’t have to be perfect to be something real

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Love poem: Sweet nectar

Love poem: Sweet nectar

It’s the waves of sadness that trickle with madness
As I cascade onto the lost heavenly golden shore,
Like a goddess from a stolen shipwreck,
I swim upstream, like an airplane in the wind
I won’t press send yet
I’ll leave you diamonds and all of your belongings, arranged into their definitive but transient places
Sprawled amongst my living room
Garments, piles of yarn & cotton
I thought I had it, but my god I’ve lost it

The breathtaking splendor
Of an afternoon in November
When you cradled me like a little baby in your mariner’s arms,
Like a tomboy
Like a child
Like with you, I’d happily run wild
Any day of the week
Do you mind if I speak
Or leave love letters, here and there, for you to read
When your eyes are
Closing
In-between somber nighttime
The stillness I could never objectify

A smooth transition
Won’t you pay attention
I’ve got my hair in curls, a floral neckline
A passerby’s time
Glance at the clock
I almost forgot
I have to let the sheep out before the wolves come back
From hiding
They do like to do that
So rambunctious and eerie
They paint me quite freely

I do love their art – I go to all of their showings
Even when they take place on a Tuesday, or Wednesday, and I’ve got more work to do than I can account for

I’m a lady of charm
And you’ll always find me armed
That part you can disregard

Glock 23 G23 Pistol Semi Auto Firearm Handgun Schematic

I won’t shrink in your presence
I occupy a throne
I go to places where most would be too scared to step on their own
It’s my afternoon glow
When you find me on that smooth soft-stoned path,
The dismay leaving my eyelids as I cast you not an ember of a doubt
But a becoming smile
Welcoming
Almost
Briefly
Weeping
Holding to you closest, what you want most

And that is?
That is?
Something to never be replaced
Something I won’t touch lightly on
Whispering to those in particular who have the patience to sound my vowels and consonants out, deal with the aftermath
Elegantly
Soft in the evenings
Rambunctious – they all are
Their witch hazel broiler room ticking clock
Like apricots at a wedding
In the middle of February
For no reason, no reason
For no reason at all

I sat down with you, there, close to the prisoner’s fence
I wanted to inquire whether you loved me
I can’t remember what I said
But I did
And that’s that
You’ll run me a cold lavender bath
Finding my hazel glow a little too appealing
Hopefully, I hadn’t been too revealing
The room is spinning
And I am thinking

You’re like sweet nectar from a flower that’s never been held

© Elle Silvestrov

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