Month: July 2020

Black metal and a peach
I call you, I’m not feeling fine
This has been happening all of the time
This pit in my stomach that’s growing
Of external appearances, I’m not showing
Call goes to voicemail
I spin around in my office chair
Thinking of all the things you could be doing
All of the girls that you could be screwing
To my general state this is contributing

So I hang up the telephone
Rock back and forth a bit
Feel like I’m on a sailor’s ship
And I don’t have to do any little thing
But my mind cruelly wakes me up from this dream and points to all of the things I need to do
How somebody can work in this state, I don’t know, I barely do
I run through my contacts but I don’t have anyone but you
And I’m realizing no matter what you say, you almost never come through
What’s a gal like me to do

A magazine clipping on my wall states “Within Reach”
It was put up for inspiration
How simply they made it sound
Like something is right across the fence and you only have to climb it
Well I’m good at climbing fences
But you’re not “Within Reach”
You’re not on the other side of the fence
You’re so far away I can hardly taste you
With guns ablaze I can’t even find you

This fairytale is turning into a nightmare
I believe I’m the only one feeling the despair
Of not having you there
Close to me
Where we can be
Together.

Hydrangeas are the softest flower
My life, has turned painfully sour
Where I go, I don’t know
I cast my seeds, but I don’t sow
I want to dream of a paradise
But every day you’re being not so nice
And I’m fading into the black
It’s starting to feel there’s no turning back

I’m awake at midnight, no early bedtime
The laughter with you, the sweetest of times
I keep it in my heart, somewhere safe
But lately the path to it has felt like a maze
I’m drawing parallels between you and me
But your new girlfriend is far too pretty
Placing symbols on the things you’ve done
Though our deeper love has just begun

I don’t want to be alone all these nights
I want to tell you these things without the hostile fights
Making melancholy films of me undressing
Just to captivate you, stop you from stressing
It’s all for you after all
And deeper into madness I continue to fall
Until finally there’s nothing left of me
You’ll have used me up, don’t you see

I want the passion and the sunrise
I want you to show up, come by by surprise
Capture me in my best light
At least start by saying good night
You’re wild and you’re free, won’t you share
When I spin out of control, won’t you care

I want to be your absolute
But let’s start with telling each other the complete truth
I know it’s hard to do
I know it’s hard to do
I know it’s hard to do
I know it’s hard to do

I sing into teacups
Because they
Drown out the noise

Down at the skate park
With my headphones on
Here come the boys

I grew a garden
Up in the sky
No temper tantrums

Cobwebs in corners
Standing on tip toes
Thinking how handsome

Getting smaller
Not trying to
The comfiest mattress

Lana’s voice is silk
It fulfills me
When I fade into blackness

Him and his hat
I adore both
Though they bring sadness

I am your fake smile
Make your wish well
Photographs are static

Applying regret
Holding together tact
Resume composure

Oh god please
Don’t you tell me
That this is over

Though they bring sadness
Though they bring sadness
When I fade into blackness
When I fade into blackness